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'The Amazing Race': I can't believe you're being this mean to me on my birthday
Oh, Taipei -- or Tah-PIE, as some call it -- you may be my favorite destination yet on The Amazing Race. Not because the challenges were harrowing -- they were actually a bit pointless -- or because the scenery was stunning -- it wasn't anything to write home about -- but because you, dear city, were the site of a glorious defeat. Huzzah!
Thanks a lot for ruining my frickin' birthday -- I asked you to just please not spoil me.
First off, I need to dispel the rumor that I got so addicted to this show that I hit Daniel over the head, shoved him in a crate and shipped him to Dhaka to get him out of the way so I could recap the last two episodes. I used knockout drops, it was a trunk, and he's going to Madagascar. Enjoy the lemurs, Daniel!
The big news: Team Odious finally got booted! Jen and Nate are out of the race, despite their pledge to step up the pressure. "We're not playing Mr. Nice Jen and Nate," Jen says. Wait -- they were being NICE?
Thank god it was such an emotionally satisfying episode, because the challenges left me underwhelmed. The Roadblock didn't demand anything of the players. Sure, it was great to watch the differing reactions between the young folks (Rachel and Nate squealed with excitement as the jeep swung on the teeter-totter) and the old guys (Ron and Don apparently have a much better grasp on the concept of mortality, or at least grievous bodily injury), but there was no skill, no endurance, no effort really involved. Who can't hold their breath for 17 seconds?
The detour also disappointed me, but only because everyone chose to do the same one. Yes, walking on a path of jabby rocks isn't easy, but the sky lanterns looks exceedingly cool. I'm sorry we missed seeing them -- and seeing what kind of nasty messages some teams would write about each other. And the final challenge -- who can slurp hot liquid most quickly! -- was just blah.
Instead, it was all about the personalities. Ron and Christina took the lead early and held on to it -- and Ron really didn't do anything to piss me off the whole show. Who woulda thunk it? Either Ron is learning his lesson about keeping his temper in check and working with his daughter, or he's finally started bribing the editors not to air the footage of him being an ass. I almost got a little teary-eyed when he said "I've just been very, very blessed to have my daughter here to teach me to ropes of how to be a better person." The fact that said daughter speaks Mandarin? Icing on the cake.
The other three teams were neck-and-neck throughout the episode. TK and Rachel had a remarkable run of luck -- they consistently ended up on the same train as the other teams, and even their speed bump didn't slow them down. Plus, they kept being decent human beings throughout -- even when "the freak-out factor [was] unbelievable," they didn't snap. I was glad they got second place.
Third place was Nicholas and Don, with Nicholas again doing most of the heavy lifting. They were actually the least notable team this week, despite Nicholas' cringe-worthy attempt at trash-talk. "We've been playing the game like bitches so far, and so has everybody else. There are no competitors are left -- it's a bunch of pansies left." Um, ok, tough guy. Those non-competitors left you in the dust.
And then there's Jen and Nate. Oh my god, guys, did you know it was Jen's birthday? And it would suck if she got kicked out on her birthday? And she wanted Nate to be nice to her on her birthday? What day is it, anyway? Oh, wait, I know -- it's Jen's birthday! And I'll admit I'm a nasty, bitter person, because the fact that it was Jen's birthday -- and that she wouldn't shut up about it -- made the schadenfreude all the more sweet. In fact, let's indulge that feeling, shall we?
Great moments in Team Odious history, Taipei edition:
- Nate revels in his ignorance: "I know absolutely nothing about Taiwan, except I think Thai food is pretty good."
- Jen returns the favor by pronouncing Taipei "Tah-PIE." No, really. And she kept doing that all episode!
- Strategic error number one: Team Odious decides to change money before going through immigration, which allows TK and Rachel to get in the immigration line before them.
- Jen decides that TK and Rachel being in front of them is a personal affront, something they're doing to her (on her birthday!). Choice quotes: "I cannot believe that they're here -- it makes me sick." "God, that hatred's in my blood right now." Mine too, Jen. Mine too.
- Strategic error number two: They decide to take public transport rather than a taxi to the Detour site, which puts them behind everyone. I have never been a bigger fan of public transport than I am right now...
- What the hell is the deal with Jen's weird sexism? "You're the man!" she says, whenever she thinks Nate needs to take charge. Shut it!
- And then there was the spectacular meltdown on Nate's part: "Honestly, Jen, I can't stand you. All you do is freak out! You're the one who got us in this mess! You're the one who said subway, subway, subway!...You're such a poor teammate!" That's true, Nate -- but you, my friend, as just as much an ass as she is.
- Final words from Jen: "Nate and I have learned a lot about each other and about our relationship..." So have we: We've learned that you're both horrible people, and that wishes do come true. Good riddance to you both!
Other thoughts:
- Look at Christina getting her bitch on, trying to convince the gate agents not to sell tickets to Nate and Jen! Go, Christina!
- Why all the hostility directed at TK's follicles? "I want to rip the dreads right out of his head," says Jen. "I really want to rip his beard off," says Nicholas. Beware of Nair in the shampoo, TK. They're gunning for you!
- The Speed Bump -- a run through fireworks -- was cool, but not terribly speed-bumpy. Team Perky Goth's yoga interlude ate up some time, while the fireworks sprint was over in a few minutes.
- TK on the Speed Bump: "That was bitching man -- if we get eliminated today, at least we went out with a bang." Oh, TK... leave the puns to the professionals.
Who do you want to win the whole thing? Who do you think will win? Are you still doing a happy dance for Jen and Nate's dismissal, or do you think I was too harsh on them?
No, gosh, you are not too hard on Nate and Jen. We were sitting here on the edge of our seats, going, PLEASE take the wrong bus, PLEASE taxi driver take them to the wrong place, etc. We would be happy if any of the final three win, but are pulling for TK and Rachel. The older guys have to be getting tired of this by now, but Nick gets points in our book for carrying both backpacks! Good riddance to Jen and Nate. Thanks for the great updates!
Liza | Jan 13, 2008 9:13:52 PM | #Did you notice that Jen flipped off Nate during the episode? When Nate tells Jen "I can't stand you" while standing on the street corner, the camera pans from Jen to Nate and he rolls his eyes in response to something she's just done. When the camera pans back to Jen, you can see her just finishing her one finger salute to Nate. Since I Tivo'd the episode, I went back several times and I'm certain she flipped him off. These two malcontents made for great entertainment but were also easy to hate - Buh bye!
Scott | Jan 13, 2008 9:20:30 PM | #On the second episode, my reaction to Jen was, "what a f--ing shrew!"
My favorite moment tonight was when Nate (no prize himself) finally said, "you're a (bleep) shrew!"
The weird thing was that an episode or two ago they actually seemed to start to pull it together and have some consideration for one another. Maybe they ate something that made them weak and ill or something.
Todd | Jan 13, 2008 10:24:08 PM | #Good riddance to them too. You have the apt comments for them. They really deserve our negative attitudes. They sow the wrong reactions to viewers making them so hateful, esp. Jen.No man will ever want her , she's such a nag.
Gaby | Jan 14, 2008 1:52:08 AM | #Good riddance to them too. You have the apt comments for them. They really deserve our negative attitudes. They sow the wrong reactions to viewers making them so hateful, esp. Jen.No man will ever want her , she's such a nag.
Gaby | Jan 14, 2008 1:52:18 AM | #Jen, glade to see I wasn't the only praying for them to take the wrong bus. I did a happy dance when they came in last.
Annatree | Jan 14, 2008 5:48:33 AM | #Man I was on the edge of my seat rooting on every team except Nate and Jen. I was so hoping that the subway would be a wrong mode of transportation for the last challenge (the rocks, not the tea as the review says) and that they would be penalized, but alas they came in last anyways!
So now I want TK and Rachel to win but am also rooting for Nicholas and Don. I'll be happy with either one.
Josh | Jan 14, 2008 5:52:53 AM | #Nate and Jen were appalling. I've never been more invested in a team NOT winning than I am in another team winning. Thankfully they didn't make it to the final three, because the stress of even the minor possibility that they might win would have been too much next week! The AR just shouldn't reward ignorance, incompetence and general shrewyness. And how satisfying that their downfall was their constant fighting... when they were standing on that street corner, yelling rather than running, they deserved to lose. So next week I can just relax and enjoy the ride, pretty indifferent to who wins!
Allie | Jan 14, 2008 7:01:57 AM | #I was rooting for Jen and Nate. Too bad.
Grimm | Jan 14, 2008 7:34:36 AM | #I was watching the show with my husband, kids, sister and brother and when Nicholas and Donald got to the mat we all cheered.
I can watch next week without a pit in my stomach wondering it Jen and Nate could win. I am so happy, happy, HAPPY!!!
By the way, I don't think you can be too hard on Jen. I don't think she has done one thing to make me like her all season. She got mad at the other teams because they raced against her! I guess she thought it was a scripted show where she won???
Good riddance to the overgrown whiny baby and the constant tantrums.
Bren | Jan 14, 2008 8:10:26 AM | #OMG! So I wasn't the only one cheering for the subway to be the wrong way...for the taxi driver to get lost...
All I can say is "It's karma, man". When Jen was flipping off about T.K.'s dreds (how does that help her to get ahead?) And acting like T.K. and Rachel were doing something personal to offend her...I thought 'If the karma thing is true, it's gonna get ya'. And it did!
I would like to see T.K. and Rachel win, just because they took the race to a level that was nice to see. They did it with a competitive nature that was hard to see for most, I think. No harm to others, but they pushed themselves.
I think Jen got a great birthday present: elimination!! And don't let us forget it was her birthday. She kept reminding us at every opportunity.
I think it's great to see older teams in the finals for once. It wouldn't bother me if any of the three win, but I'm rooting for Chris and Ron, or Mr. Myagi as I've been calling him all season.
Tim | Jan 14, 2008 8:27:57 AM | #Agreed with all of the above. I loathe Nate & especially Jen. My favorite part of this installment of her weekly meltdowns was when she was insisting on taking a bus instead of a cab (huh?). When Nate finally started yelling at her saying "you kept saying bus, bus, bus..." Her response was "I said that?" as if it was him who had been pushing that strategy. Wow. Even on her birthday.
And what's with all the hate for TK? Even Nick is getting personal? Why does everyone think they are not trying? Because they seem stoned all the time?
Chris | Jan 14, 2008 9:27:58 AM | #I love when they (Nate and Jen) are fighting on the street corner and all the chinese people are staring at them, like they are the dumbest people on the planet. It's the same look I've been giving them all season..
| Jan 14, 2008 9:56:53 AM | #I agree with the speed bump being too quick - Poor Goths, Nate and Jenn could have left a lot earlier than last night.
Was it me (I wish I dvr'd it) but didn't the detour say to "walk" across the path - I like TK and Rachel but they were sure looked like TK was moving way too fast along the path.
I'd like Don & Nick to win with TK & Rachel second. I never really liked Ron & Chris.
Jenn R | Jan 14, 2008 10:21:46 AM | #I was actually a little worried about the subway maneuver, Chris, because it might have been good strategy. I lived in Hong Kong, and depending on the time of day, the subway moved a hell of a lot faster than the traffic. Fortunately, in this case, taxis were the best option. Whoo-hoo!
Sarah | Jan 14, 2008 10:29:25 AM | #That Jen is a horrible person. Good riddance.
Jen | Jan 14, 2008 12:29:39 PM | #Jenn R - I think you are taking the instruction alittle to literally. "Walk" in this case means 'move yourself across the rocks' it wouldnt look right or sound right to use anyother word than Walk.
I was jumping up and down and whoo hooing when Nate and Jen came in last. Its about time.
I was alittle sad at the very end when Jen said it was over and Nate cried.
Stoned or not i'm rooting for TK and Rachel.
darrpub | Jan 14, 2008 12:48:03 PM | #Traverse over the rocks? That would eliminate the stupid...
I LOVED when team father/daughter said that some of the teams were less intelligent, and then team disfunction said they were going to Taiwan and they like Thai food. Great edit!
Pat | Jan 14, 2008 3:34:36 PM | #So this season of The Amazing Race will have 11 episodes! I seem to recall previous seasons having 13 shows! I feel cheated!
count me in! jen + nate = badness. jen = badness squared.
bren described it perfectly - my hubby and i were squezing each other's hands and jumped up woo-hoo'ing when don and nick showed up.
so, we're pulling for tk & rachel, too. tk's worst freakout is like my calmest, most rational day. :-) rachel is so sweet and she's working so hard, i want good things for them.
BTW - why did some of those cab drivers say they didn't know chiang kai-shek plaza?!?! that's like a dc cabbie saying he'd never heard of the white house!
stacysaw | Jan 14, 2008 4:52:36 PM | #Thank goodness they are gone. I just hope none of the final three runs into some unavoidable bad luck, and the team that runs the best race gets the win.
I cringed when, after elimination, Jen began, "We just lost sight of our relationship, because we were so focused on winning this race." Guaranteed they decided to stay together. Stupid Jen and Nate!
Joey | Jan 15, 2008 9:52:58 AM | #The constant bickering between Nate and Jen was making me not want to watch the show. I am SO glad they are gone. Did not want them to win so whoever takes it now, I'm happy. Glad to see Ron finally treating his daughter with respect.
Jo | Jan 16, 2008 11:59:56 AM | #
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