Premierewatch: 'Dance War: Bruno vs Carrie Ann'

What happens when So You Think You Can Dance has one too many and ends up taking American Idol home? Nine months later you get Dance War: Bruno vs Carrie Ann of course!

Spoilers

Welcome, my friends, to the first of six weeks of potential glory. For those of you who don't know what the show is about, basically Carrie Ann and Bruno audition singing dancers and dancing singers to form their own little mega-groups. Each week, the groups will perform and the audience will vote on who wins. Wins what? Um...I have no idea. Certainly bragging rights but there's no mention to what the performers get. Other than tired and used.

To kick the show off, our host (and competent reader of teleprompters) Drew Lachey introduced a segment that let us get to know our Dancing With the Stars judges a little better. Little known fact: When Carrie Ann was 18, she went overseas to Japan and was a pop star for a few years. I like her so much more now. That's awesome and I'm totally not being sarcastic. Bruno also talked about his dance/acting/etcetera background but nothing he said was as interesting as Carrie Ann the Japanese Pop Star.

Auditions kicked off in New York's Central Park in front of a crowd. Drew was on hand to do some MC work and interview the people waiting to go on. Due to the large turnout, Bruno and Carrie Ann decided to do open call dance auditions first to weed out the riff raff. They took groups of 15 and had them freestyle, allowing those that stood out to move on to the solo round where they'd get to sing and dance one more time. Out of all the people they showcased, Samuel from Union Mills, IN so far is the most impressive. He's a good dancer (and shredded the bottom of his feet dancing barefoot in the initial round) and turned out to have a good voice too. While not the best rendition of "Feeling Good" I've ever heard, he successfully showcased his low range which got him bonus points. The major highlight was the audition of D. Diddy aka Drew in a purple and green, vinyl track suit, blonde wig, trucker hat, fake beard and orange sunglasses. He sang a ridiculous version of "My Girl" and proceeded to shake his tush in a most ackward fashion. Good times. Another featured performer was Quandrell from Buffalo, NY. His singing was pretty solid and he was a good dancer, especially considering he'd never taken a class in his life and his mom taught him everything he knows about technique (Carrie Ann and Bruno remarked to each other that he was like Leroy from Fame). But really, he was just likable which gives a real boost to whatever talent a person has. After all was said and done, they'd taken about 10 folks from NY - including Samuel and Quandrell.

Next audition city: Los Angeles. Theoretically, they should find a lot of dancers who can sing. Theoretically. It's the same structure as NY except it takes place on the beach...and it starts to rain for the first time in forever in the middle of auditions. One of the featured LA standouts is Zack, a Pre-Med student originally from Saratoga Springs, UT giving this crazy show business thing one more shot. Like Samuel, he can dance, he can sing, and he was easy on the eyes. There's a girl named Mariel from Chicago they did a quick flash on that I feel compelled to mention. I liked her voice and assume she can dance as, thus far, just about everyone they've given a name to has made it to the next round. A girl named Elizabeth from Riverside, CA had a lot of personality and the best voice of the girls showcased to this point, but she wasn't a strong dancer. Then there's Angela from Raleigh, NC who is the exact opposite. Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Chris from San Bernadino, CA who had all the 12-year-old girls in the audience swooning. They told 3 separate groups they were in - I'd say somewhere around 12 people made it.

The last stop on this train is Nashville where they're holding auditions at the State Fair. Really? The State Fair? Um...okay. Phillip, who lives 10 minutes away, was great vocally and a good dancer, though not as trained as some of the others. He did, however, have a whole lot of personality and managed to get both Carrie Ann and Bruno out of their seats to boogie with him. I also really like Lacey from Jackson, MS (who not only was a good singer but is the first female dancer they've shown that had flavor to go with her technical ability) and Maxx from Bartlett, TN (who had what Bruno and Carrie Ann called a Michael Jackson quality to his voice, was a fantastic dancer, and just had a really great energy about him). There were also three friends who auditioned but only two made it through.

All in all, 30 people made it to the Hollywood callback round where they only had two days to learn a group performance, after which only 14 would make it onto Bruno and Carrie Ann's respective teams. The Big B and The C to the A meet with the three talent coaches and tell them to push as hard as they want to ensure those who make it through can handle the pressure. They're going to be performing Sly and the Family Stone's "Dance to the Music" with what Carrie Ann calls a fairly basic dance routine so they can add their own spice to it. It's pretty rough for them as most have never done anything this intense before in their lives. At the end of the first day, Carrie Ann and Bruno sit them down and tell them that they have to step it up to make an impression. They're talented and have done well but they're not shining enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the second day, the Terrific Twosome do a rundown of the potentials and compare notes. Some get high marks, some they have doubts about. Before the performance, Drew gives the group some words of advice and then it's the moment of truth. They all perform at once and each get a solo to sing and dance through. Many were good and some...well...choked. Poor things. Next is the long and sad process of elimination. Philip, Mariel, Elizabeth, Zack, Maxx, Lacey, and Chris were among the 14 to make it through but Samuel and Quandrell didn't (Carrie Ann started crying when they told Quandrell because she liked him so much).

Now, finally, we get to the live performance portion of the show. But first, Drew brings out Carrie Ann and Bruno for the obligatory "this is why I'm going to win" bit in front of the live audience. Rounding out the 14 are Charity, Allysa, Corina, Kelsey (one of the three friends auditioning in TN), Tony, Marquis, and Bradley. The finalists, singing "Let's Get Loud" by Jennifer Lopez (which makes sense because it's an easy song) make their debut performing as a single group. My standouts (for various reasons) are Mariel, Lacey, Allysa, Maxx, and Elizabeth. It was an enjoyable number but I reserve judgment until next week when they're broken out into their two groups. Only it won't be all of them. Two finalists are being sent home for some reason unbeknownst to me. Or any one else.

Overall, it was a fairly benign intro episode to the series. I appreciated the abbreviated audition process - having to sit through hours and hours of crap performances (*coughAmerican Idolcough*) just really hurts my feelings. It was also cool to see Carrie Ann and Bruno dance some (Carrie Ann wins that match-up, btw) so hopefully we get more of that in the next few weeks. And Drew Lachey is such a better host than Samantha Harris (though not yet as good as Tom Bergeron). I wasn't yawning but I also wasn't riveted. Eh.

What say you? Yay or nay? Did your favorite not make it to the 14? Did you not care? How awesome was Carrie Ann's sparkly go-go dress and boots?

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