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'American Idol' Charleston auditions
If I heard correctly, Ryan Seacrest's voice-over said that 23 contestants made it to Hollywood out of the Charleston auditions for American Idol. Of those 23, though, only four had any significant screentime on Wednesday's (Jan. 23) episode and each of the ones we saw were highly suspect. That is not a good sign.
The strangest thing about Wednesday's show was that the allegedly strong performers we saw were almost indistinguishable from the allegedly weak performers, both in terms of talent and on-screen presentation.
Here's one group of four:
1) Dangerously Overweight Flamboyant Belter With a Tie on His Head
2) Less Talented Sister to Dangerously Overweight Flamboyant Belter With a Tie on His Head
3) Pouty Virgin Dance Captain Prone to Back-Talk
4) Generic Blonde With a Family Tragedy
Here's a second group of four:
1) Insurance Salesman-Looking Guy Whose Wife Went Into Labor
2) Surprisingly Beautiful Air Force Pilot With the Support of Her Colleagues
3) Sassy Big-Voiced Waitress From a Small Town
4) 1970s Sitcom Reject With A 'Fro and Clay Aiken Mannerisms
Which of those two groups went through to Hollywood and which got sent home grumbling, swearing or facing late-night feedings?
That's right... Group #1 made the cut.
The best thing I can say about the winners we met in Charleston is this: The past three episodes, I've gone Googling to track down the music industry pros in the pack, the ringers. That wasn't an issue tonight.
Of the future contestants we met, Amy Catherine Flynn seems the most Top 24-ready. To my mind, her version of Christina Aguilera's "Reflections" was high school musical bad. I wouldn't have given her Maria in the 10th grade production of West Side Story, much less a Golden Ticket. I guess her free pass was less about that paper thin falsetto on a part of the song meant to be belted and more about the lecture on abstinence she gave Simon in which every other word was "like." She certainly had me rolling my eyes from the moment she introduced herself as "Amy. Amy Catherine. A.C. Whatev." Whatev, indeed. The best reason to put Pouty Virgin Dance Captain through would have been to see if she might have gotten drunk and hooked up with Never Kissed a Girl Promise Keeper from Dallas, except he didn't get through. Simon noted that a lot of people are going to find her annoying, which seems like a recipe to get fans involved.
I think at least as many people probably would have voted for Lyndsey Goodman as well, though. The air force pilot with the gorgeous eyes and instantly forgettable version of "Black Velvet" looked ready to capitalize on the sort of all-forces military support that got Josh Gracin and Phil Stacey wildly further and slightly further than their talent would have otherwise. Lyndsey was even hot in her jumpsuit.
But for Lyndsey, saying she wanted to follow in her father's footsteps to the cockpit wasn't enough. She apparently also had to be in mourning, like London Weidberg. Don't get me wrong, please. London has my sincere sympathies, but the puff piece the producers through together with her family grieving in their extravagantly expensive (and tacky) house-by-the-beach was exploitative without a payoff. London ended up being yet another Interchangeable Idol Blonde. How many of these did they need in Hollywood?
Whatev.
Meanwhile, at least nobody 's likely to forget Michelle and Jeffrey Lampkin. The producers pulled a clever bait-and-switch with the Lampkins. First we met lovebirds Crystal Ortiz and Randy Stark, who met on Idol message boards and really enjoyed making out in public. [Good for them... Six seasons in, I haven't found love 'round these parts.] They were icky and they couldn't sing, so when the show cut to the Lampkins, it looked like we were headed more embarrassment. After all, Jeffrey's rather large, rather excitement and he was rather wearing a tie around his head. He was also eager to push his sister out of the spotlight at every turn. Then, when their duet of "I'm Your Angel," disturbingly intimate as it was for a brother-sister team, turned out to be just fine, we were just as shocked as the judges who put them through out of pure amusement. I don't need to go to any spoiler sites to know that neither of them is destined to be pleading for my vote this spring.
Who didn't think that Oliver Highman was going through? The episode was structured around Oliver, who bolted out of the first day of auditions after his wife's water broke, spent a while lost on the way to the hospital and finally showed up seemingly the next day with his infant in tow. And it wasn't like he couldn't sing. He was just all over the place, throwing in a bunch of business that the song didn't require. I didn't understand why the judges didn't ask him to sing something "normal," didn't try to see if he'd showcase different things with an alternative number.
I actually felt the same way about self-described "Black Clay Aiken" Ray Henderson and DeAnna Prevatte, who hailed from Kellie Pickler's hometown, but insisted "I am more likely to bring you down with a baseball bat than strut around in high heels." Both Ray and DeAnna punctuated their performances with gesticulating arms and out-of-nowhere kneeling, but since we spent so much time with both of them before their auditions, I was stunned that the judges didn't give them a few measures of a less rehearsed song. Neither of them was any good, but neither was that much worse than A.C.
Whatev.
While I couldn't tell the difference between good and bad in some case, I knew Joshua Boson's version of "I Am Telling You" was pretty rank. I did a quick check to see if he's a local comic or anything, though his rant, "This show is fake and rigged" rang somewhat true. It turned out that he never wanted to be American Idol anyway. He wants to be World Idol. Whatever happened to Kurt Nilsen anyway?
A couple other quick thoughts:
I don't suppose Idol will be returning to Charleston any time soon.
Did you like any of the four winners we saw? Or were you like "Whatev"?
Check out our full Idol coverage Zap2it's Guide to American Idol.
I wasn't blown anyone by anyone in tonight's episode. In the previous installments, I saw at least a couple people I thought were really fabulous. So it wasn't a night of great talent, IMO, but some of the awful singers were quite amusing as usual. And I kind of liked, in a mild way, most of those who moved on tonight. Maybe they'll blow me away during Hollywood Week. One audition isn't enough to know for sure.
I love how Oliver Highman graciously accepted his rejection, and then showed the judges his daughter. Contrast his attitude with that of the whiny Josh Boson. That guy is a real loser!
Anne | Jan 23, 2008 8:45:32 PM | #I thought I heard something right at the end of Simon's comments about the girl who's mother named her Aretha after the great singer. I had to rewind to hear it again. I rewound it several times. Was Simon passing wind? Did anyone else hear it?
O'mickey | Jan 23, 2008 9:22:15 PM | #AI will never, EVER discover the greatest undiscovered singer in America. Why? Because I'm too old, that's why. :-p (I'll be 33 in March, so I never was eligible for ANY season.)
JW | Jan 23, 2008 9:23:53 PM | #The guy in the kilt was pretty cool. Too bad he sucked at the Carrie Underwood song.
JA | Jan 23, 2008 9:36:44 PM | #I'm hoping someone posts the Lyndsey Goodman video soon. I want to see it as it seems to be generating a lot of buzz - as in "I can't believe she didn't get through"
Rishi | Jan 23, 2008 10:44:58 PM | #I wish the Air Force pilot had gotten through. That's all I wanted to say.
Gieeng | Jan 24, 2008 12:18:33 AM | #London's mom was hotter than the daughter.
2 Tons o' Fun bro/sis duet was creepy.
Couldn't believe the producers gave Highman so much airtime and he didn't get through. He was decent enough by SC standards.
Aretha really had a big ... belt, didn't she?
Weebo | Jan 24, 2008 12:30:04 AM | #I've been waiting for someone to sing a They Might Be Giants song on AI. I was pleasantly surprised when they actually used a TMBG song (No!) for a montage.
Xannie | Jan 24, 2008 4:56:42 AM | #Yeah too bad London is a ringer. Her myspace even says she has more songs coming and there are 2 songs on there already. Also she sang a song for the NBC show Las Vegas.
I for one am sick and tired of seeing ringers on the show. The guy who's wife gave birth was just as good as "the virgin" in my eyes.
Either way i hope the ringers get voted out first.
Josh | Jan 24, 2008 7:49:56 AM | #Joshua Boson is right, the show is rigged... the early shows are rigged to showcase dreadful singers with overwhelming ambition. Thanks, Joshua, for recognizing why you made it to the audition room.
Chris | Jan 24, 2008 10:13:09 AM | #Go Irish lass. Can't wait to hear her again.
tv | Jan 24, 2008 4:31:18 PM | #I think that Amy Catherine was amazing. idk what yall are talking about cuz she is gunna be big. She's so cute, interesting and has a great voice. shes gonna be a STAR! just wait and see
joooo | Jan 24, 2008 7:06:06 PM | #I really don't understand why Lyndsey didn't get to Hollywood-- or even Oliver for that matter. Remember in one of the early seasons when they brought people into the early elimination rounds who they felt needed a second shot (or were just overlooked in the original auditions)? I say, bring that back and pull Lyndsey and Oliver into the mix.
Kate | Jan 24, 2008 7:41:49 PM | #Ya know, whenever Amy Catherine gets nervous, she likes to put her fingers under her armpits....
Two days after seeing this episode, I barely recall anyone from it. Oh, except the guy who brought his day-old daughter to what is likely to be the least sanitary place in the city. Yeah, fresh from the sterlized hospital ward to a tiny, cramped room several thousand weirdos have been living in for the past few days...
Frank Rook | Jan 25, 2008 7:03:56 AM | #How can I find out if someone made it on the show to go on to Hollywood? Is there alist of who made it from Charleston, SC?
becky | Jan 25, 2008 9:28:10 AM | #I couldn't care less about this year's Idol.
I still can't believe Melinda didn't make it into the finals last year. Don't know if the show is rigged or not, but what happened last year killed my interest. Good luck to whoever!
They did it again! Anyone remember the comely lass in an army uniform (last year?) with a fine voice to whom they said "naah, we don't think so." Well, along comes Lyndsey with great presence, looks and a more than adequate voice, and Simon gives her that "cabaret...not a contemporary pop voice" crap. So what's a good example of a contemporary pop voice?
Ruben, Taylor, Carrie, Daughtry, all those teenage Perry Comos? She should have had a chance to sing something else. Their choices can be mystifying. I wanted to hear more. Oh, well.
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