'Gossip Girl' delivers yuletide sex and holiday cheer
With your regular Gossip Girl recapper flying high above the clouds, I'll be your tour guide for Wednesday (Dec. 19) evening's adventures of New York City's prettiest, richest, whitest teens.
[The following recap will contain solid gold spoilers. And don't worry, I've got the Celtics-Pistons game on in the background so that I can remain hormonally balanced.]
Can we stop and reflect, temporarily, on the most disturbing popular culture moment of the past week. No, I'm not talking about Alvin and the Chipmunks grossing $45 million in its opening weekend, though that's mighty messed up. I'm referring, of course, to the revelation that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant and planning on giving birth to the baby. Suddenly, the reproductive decisions of what was supposed to be the sensible, hygienically gifted Spears sister have become the prism through which the rest of the world must be viewed.
Take Juno. Three months ago, it was a quirky little comedy that nobody outside of a few film festivals had seen. Last week, it was a slightly over-hyped, but no less daffily appealing Oscar darkhorse. Today, the story of a 16-year-old girl who decides to keep carry her baby to term, forcing her to approach life in an entirely new way (no, I haven't given anything away) has gone from slight and charming to Socially Important and Shockingly Prescient.
I bring that up because after spending two days in the eye of Hurricane Spears, I just couldn't watch tonight's Gossip Girl in the same way.
The episode's A Plot found perpetually unsteady couple Dan and Serena dealing with another of those awkward Firsts, in this case their first Christmas and the gift-giving responsibilities therein. If you'll recall, when Dan and Serena went out on their first date, Dan tried giving Serena the date he thought she wanted (at a ritzy restaurant he couldn't afford), but Serena told him that she wasn't looking for him to try to operate in her world, that she just wanted him to be himself. But wouldn't you know it? Christmas brought out a whole sea of almost identical problems, specifically with Dan not knowing what to get Serena and Serena thinking that what Dan would really want for Christmas is an insanely expensive watch (which made him uncomfortable, even though it was a really great watch and I'd have tossed my Timex with the crumbling leather band aside for it in a second).
Their revised pact: Spend no more than $50 on each other and get those presents turned around fast!
After temporarily contemplating the purchase of designer cheese, Dan got an assist from Jenny and stole (after a small donation) an orphaned tree and snuck it into Serena's hotel. That was sweet. In all, Serena spent about two seconds reflecting on the gesture.
Serena's gift was, um, more thoughtful? Blair wasn't very helpful when it came to reasonably priced gifts (and she had other things on her mind, as we'll discuss), but Vanessa was. After all, she knows what Dan likes. So Serena set up a bed on the floor of an all-white room, put up hand-cut snowflakes, projected a wintry scene on all the walls and, after greeting Dan in the slinkiest of red dresses, proceeded to make a man of him.
It was a lovely gesture because earlier in the episode Dan had lamented the absence of legitimate winter weather in New York City and also because "Losing Virginity to Serena van der Woodsen" is right below "A pony," "a Wii" and "Superbad on DVD" on Santa's "Most Requested" list this winter.
What, I wonder, was Vanessa's actual gift suggestion to Serena. Was it "Turn yourself into a video art installation and bang the boy I love"? Because if so, Serena's execution was stunning!
I'm not gonna be one of those "Oh my! Gossip Girl is corrupting our children and encouraging them to be free-spending sluts with no appreciation for New York real estate costs"-style alarmists, but I wonder if I'd have approached this episode differently if the tawdry celebrity news channels weren't on a 24-7 story about Jamie Lynn. As it was, I guess I'm glad that Serena found the perfect, seasonably appropriate gift to pass along to Dan without breaking the bank.
The B and C plots this week were about families coming together and falling apart.
For the Waldorfs, it was an unexpected reconciliation after Blair's long-absent dad (guest star John Shea) returned to town with his partner Roman. This was awkward for Blair's mom, of course, but even worse for Blair, since she just wanted to spend time alone with her father. As with so many problems on Gossip Girl, the Waldorf conundrum was solved by money. Specifically, Blair's mom got over all of her hang-ups by sleeping with a wealthy hedge fund manager recruited by Roman and Blair was pleased to see that her dad's new vineyard in Lyon had a well-decorated room for her, as well as a cat named "Cat" (a nod to Breakfast at Tiffany's). In the end, they were able to, as the show's eponymous blogger put it, "make the Yule time gay." Get it? Thought so.
On the other hand, the Humphrey parents finally realized that even though Jenny had taken the train to force a reconciliation, they aren't meant to be. Momma Humphrey went off to, I dunno, paint on some other show and Papa Humphrey realized that he really loves Serena's mom, which continues to be just a bit icky and incestuous, but since I like Matthew Settle and Kelly Rutherford, I don't mind. You know who may mind? Bart Bass, who was proposing to Momma van der Woodsen as the episode ended.
OMG. Maybe this is part of why The CW's promo department instructed viewers to await "An Unprecedented Gossip Girl Event."
Can't wait!
Other thoughts on the episode:
I could have done without Dan getting a story published in the New Yorker. It isn't just that it's implausible (which is kinda is). The detail of Vanessa sneaking into his drawer to steal the story and submit it to the New Yorker came across as more creepy than thoughtful (particularly if the story was really about Serena). We're supposed to at least vaguely sympathize with her, on the outside of the Dan-Serena blizzard-making, but I really didn't. Am I the only one? Instead, I loved Blair confronting Vanessa, which was one of those moments where I completely supported Blair's evil side. And what'd you think of the year's last Gossip Girl?
I liked the episode, but Bart bas proposing that storyline better drop quick. And yes I loved Blair in this episode and with V simply Blaitch.
I actually hope Bart and Lily get married...how fun would it be to have serena and chuck as step siblings??? It would be HILARIOUS!!!
I really missed chuck, but otherwise great episode.
OMG..the PROMO??? I'm SO EXCITED (especially because I read some spoilers and CW right when they saying this going to be a GREAT episode)!Remember it comes on at 9PM on January 2nd.
CHUCK!!!! Blair and Chuck are just too delish together.
Daniel, thanks for filling in for the Gossip Girl blog. You don't have to feel bad about watching GG because it's supposed to be a guilty pleasure! ;-)
I agree that this episode would have been much better with Chuck in it. I like how he's making Blair squirm while he's away.
I was glad to see the reappearance of Eric and Mr. Waldorf. However, I wasn't so pleased to see Bart B*** getting closer to Lily, since I prefer Rufus and her together.
I don't read any spoilers, so I don't know how long Vanessa is going to stick around. I would like her better if she didn't seem like she was overly "helpful". I know that she was Dan's best friend for many years, but maybe they should show her hanging out with Jenny and other friends as well.
I like the idea of having the price limit for gifts be $50. Otherwise, it would not be fair to Dan if he was always trying to match Serena's lavish gifts. I'm sure Dan appreciated Serena's night of romance way more than the designer watch!
***In regards to the Jamie Lynn Spears story, it would have been a nice touch if the GG writers had included a quick line about Serena bringing condoms to the date (since Dan wasn't expecting to lose his virginity on Christmas Eve). It would have shown that Serena is more responsible now, and maybe there would be less complaints from parents who already think this show is too racy. The writers don't have to include a PSA about birth control, but at least they could have shown Dan and Serena discussing and using a condom.
I loved Serena's red sequin dress last night. Anyone know who the designer might have been?
Daniel, Dan actually got a poem published in the New Yorker in the book series courtesy of Vanessa. Hopefully Vanessa is staying around because she is a main character of the book series. Her whole ideal is to not be involved with the in crowd and this is why she is perplexed with Dan falling for one. I didn't see Vanessa as overly helpful. She is just trying to be the friend that Dan needs her to be and she didn't get crazy when Serena turned down her help the first time around. Now Serena came to her the second time and she accepted. She could have been a total ***** and told Serena to do it herself. People fail to see that. I didn't like Blair's confrontation because again Blair is prejudiced and knows only half the story. But Blair was on top of her game with her scheme to break up Harold and Ramone. I hope Chuck doesn't cause any trouble between Blair and Nate, but that's like wishing for a million dollars to fall in my lap.
I missed Chuck in this episode. Even though he creeps me out, I kinda like the idea of him and Blair together 'cos she's as scary as he is. Nate is just plain pretty boy blah. Dan's relationship with Serena is a bit too perfect so far, I'm just waiting for a shoe to drop. Although I find the actress playing Vanessa rather unattractive, I also like the fact that she's there to keep it real for Dan. As for Allison, I can't figure out why everyone seems to hate her. OK, so she's a bit bony and maybe reminds me of a skinnier blonder Karen Carpenter but I actually like her. Although Kelly Rutherford is very beautiful, I find the thought of her hooking up with Rufus to be totally unreal esp if she's supposed to be the high society social climber of the show. I actually like Eleanor Waldorf (well, I've always liked Margaret Colin), I find her real and rather funny. Anyway, so far Gossip Girl is holding strong. I'm just hoping it continues to be so and doesn't go the way The O.C. did which was fantastic in its first season and then totally jumped the shark when they turned Marissa into a basket case in the second season.
Am I missing something? Didn't Serena and Dan have sex for the first time several episodes ago? Around about the time that Vanessa showed up?
I can see how making love with your boyfriend after giving him a thoughtful gift might be considered special, but I didn't understand this moment to be the end of Dan's virginity. Ah well! Wouldn't be the first time I missed something ...
I'm glad that Rufus and Allison finally got a clue and aren't going to pretend about what isn't there anymore. I don't know how great Lily is for Rufus (it's clear he'd be a step up for her), but I think it might be interesting to see. And they were so sweet speaking with each other on the phone and fibbing when all they wanted was for the other one to make the first move.
People in love are such fools.
I thought Blair was embar***ing throughout most of this ep. Instead of just being straight with her father about wanting to spend at least some of their Christmastime together alone, she decided to manipulate. And instead of either talking with Vanessa with respect about her su****ions or, better yet, butting the hell out, she decided to threaten and posture like an impotent snake.
I realize she's supposed to be the resident ***** on the show but, really. How much more cartoon *****y can one little tv character get?
I very much missed Chuck although I enjoyed his cruel text messages to Blair. Those two really are a match made in heaven.
I didn't know the Jamie Lynn Spear's story was so all-encomp***ing? I've heard about it, sure, but I must admit that it hasn't made so much of an impression on me that I'm using it as a cultural prism through which I view other things in the world. She's hardly the first teenager to get pregnant and raise her baby and I seriously doubt she'll be the last.
Safe sex and taking responsibility for your actions (regardless of your age) are always important in my book. I didn't need Jamie Lynn to teach me this nor do I think she should be the one to teach anyone else this. Gossip Girl is doing just fine on its own. It really doesn't need any added baggage.
i liked this episode, i LOVED jenny's outfit when she was helping dan bring in the orphan tree! it was totally my style. i can't wait for gossip girl to come up with more ideas.
i thought blair was a tad *****y too. i mean is she that threatend by Serena and Vanessa liking each other? i did think it was almost sweet that she cared about Serena so much. but i did say ALMOST. blair should have been more open with her dad, instead of having a blast spending alone time with him ( whick would have been true if she told him the truth) she spent most of her time trying to break up her dad and roman ( or whats his face)
i thought that serena and dan already had sex too. it's hard to believe that teens are having sex now. it seems like they have the rest of their life ahead of them, and things could go horribly wrong if they become pregnet. my parents would be a tad dissapointed in me if i became pregnet, but they would be supportive, if all of that happend though that is my life. by that i mean i would have to raise the baby, not go on dates and go to dances and stuff, i would have to watch the baby.
i wonder what is going to happen to jamie lynns tv show zoey 101. it says they are going to have a movie where she might leave the show ( which i am guessing is because many people don't want someone their kids idolize to be pregnet as a teen, because they dont want to send the wrong message to them) well, all i can say is right now i love gossip girl and cant wait for more episodes to come out!!!
i love this book!!!