How does that old cliched bumper sticker go? Your worst day fishing is better than your best day working? Well, I've never been a fishing guy myself, but I can say with certainty that your worst day watching The Amazing Race is better than your best day watching Viva Laughlin.
Sunday (Nov. 4) night's premiere of the 12th installment of CBS' Emmy-winning juggernaut wasn't really the best The Amazing Race has to offer. The locations weren't so exotic, the challenges weren't so thrilling and I'm not sure if I've necessarily found more than one or two teams to root for and two or three teams to root against. But darned if it isn't nice to have The Amazing Race back where it belongs.
[I'm sorry to say that the last reader to arrive at the conclusion that this recap contains spoilers will be eliminated from the Race.]
Titled "Donkeys Have Souls Too," the premiere revisited that ever-popular Amazing Race theme of divine retribution or, put even more simply, karma. There's a school of thought -- not one I subscribe to, incidentally -- that more than brains, brawn or speed, The Amazing Race rewards the contestants who compete the right way and punishes the contestants who lie, cheat or deceitfully cut corners.
If you're a student of the Karma School, Ari and Staella were the first team eliminated on Amazing Race 12 because they stole a taxi cab reserved by another team at an Irish airport, so everything that followed was a fruit of that poisoned tree. Of course, if you believe that, you probably also believe that something ill must have befallen the Irish cabbie, who couldn't be bothered to actually ask the names of his charges to check against his reservation chart.
My own feelings about karma when it comes to The Amazing Race are summed up like this: The last installment, the All-Stars edition, was won by Eric and Danielle, two players who weren't the smartest, strongest, quickest or most honest. They didn't win by skill *or* karma, but rather by the force that truly fuels The Amazing Race -- pure chaos or entropy. Ari and Staella were eliminated not because they broke a mirror and spilled a salt shaker but because they got a donkey that wouldn't move and they didn't know how to make it move (threatening to cut the donkey up and eat him probably didn't help). That they were annoying and made one shady decision had little to do with it. While Staella had the potential to be hot, I'm not going to miss Ari's Mario Cantone-lite shtick.
Since I have a lot of little observations, but very few grand themes to discuss, let's go to bullet-points early.
Thoughts on this week's episode:
The Irish locations were picturesque, but this week's challenges weren't all that regionally specific, nor did they require any skills per se. The biking across the chasm looked fun, but only minor advantages were gained and only dreadlocked hippy TK was even slightly daunted by the activity. Yes, the more temperamentally moderate teams handled the donkeys best, but it's also clear there were more and less amenable beasts, plus for all of that initial concern about counting the right number of bricks for the donkeys, nobody arrived with 14 or 16 bricks. As a result, I don't think the first episode gave any indication of which teams are actually strongest.
That being said? Donkeys equal instant comedy.
Where do we stand on Kynt and Vyxsin? They're likely to polarize viewers, more him than her. I'm already tired of their act (too much "Two fairies on a ferry!" cutesy), but I can keep them around for at least two reasons: First off, the brief scene of Kynt running by by far the funniest part of the premiere and second off, I want to see if they'll be able to keep up with their hair and make-up for more than a few stages. I also want to see how people in more foreign lands will respond to them. Will they be seen as malignant freaks or benign cartoon characters?
According to their bios, California Blondes Shana and Jennifer are both only 32. Watching our screener, my editor was impressed with how well-preserved they were for 45. It's probably a sad commentary on life in Hollywood that women could hit 32 and look so very artificial. It's also hard to root for a team that says they're in this for "a million dollar shopping spree."
Still, the easiest team to root against? Jennifer and Nathan. Oh Jennifer. You can do so much better than Nathan! Or at least I hope you can, because he seems like a tool. It's bad enough that their Amazing Race gimmick is "He cheated on her, but they're still dating," but his treatment of tiny Jennifer has already been disgustingly boorish ("I cannot believe this. You are the worst person at this I have ever met."). And you just know that even the cameraman was astounded with philandering Nathan complained "Every other girl..."
Conversely, I'm much more tolerant of Lorena and Jason, where she's the assertive one and he's the hen-pecked spouse. I don't get the feeling that Jennifer's ego benefits from Nathan shouting insults at her, while I figure that without Lorena's urging, Jason might have a hard time getting off the couch.
Marianna and Julia are beautiful, but the thing I like most is hearing how they suddenly speak with thick accents when they say each other's names.
I would like Azaria and Hendekea a lot more except for the condescension with which he treats her (and that she doesn't resist) and a level of sibling affection that just might be excessive. What'd you think of the first episode? Any favorite teams? Any teams you're looking forward to rooting against?
How does that old cliched bumper sticker go? Your worst day fishing is better than your best day working? Well, I've never been a fishing guy myself, but I can say with certainty that your worst day watching The Amazing Race is better than your best day watching Viva Laughlin.
My own feelings about karma when it comes to The Amazing Race are summed up like this: The last installment, the All-Stars edition, was won by Eric and Danielle, two players who weren't the smartest, strongest, quickest or most honest. They didn't win by skill *or* karma, but rather by the force that truly fuels The Amazing Race -- pure chaos or entropy. Ari and Staella were eliminated not because they broke a mirror and spilled a salt shaker but because they got a donkey that wouldn't move and they didn't know how to make it move (threatening to cut the donkey up and eat him probably didn't help). That they were annoying and made one shady decision had little to do with it. While Staella had the potential to be hot, I'm not going to miss Ari's Mario Cantone-lite shtick.
Just for the record, Daniel, there was no detour, unless I REALLY spaced out.
The lack of objectionable qualities makes for a premiere that covered (at the very least) a wide range of different tasks: the "cool" bike ride, the "karma" donkey task, and a lot of physical running/biking. It made for at least a nice range of activities to see what breaks who (Answer: Nathan/Jennifer broken by running and donkeys, Lorena and Jason by driving, Stealla/Ari by Donkeys, etc.)
Myles- Nope. You didn't space out. I spaced out in my recap...
I think I'll fix that now...
-Daniel
Another season of tuning in at 8 0'clock to watch Amazing Race (on the east coast) only to find out you are in the middle of 60 minutes. Because of Football. Would it kill them to start the game a little earlier. I truly don't know how CBS's Sunday night shows stand for it! I noticed Without a Trace has moved itself out of Sunday's "very very late show contention. It has got to affect the ratings. If my DVR fails on Sundays I'm screwed. It is a big pain in the butt... And I wish more people would complain. I haven't seen the show yet to comment on it... just had to vent to someone!
A bit of a blase opener, found a couple of teams to like a couple to dislike. Once again too many dating couples out to test their relationship. Sooooo glad Ari and Staella went early...so annoying.
Really happy to have the Race back.
I liked the Asian father/daughter team, he had some funny comments and TK and his partner probably the best so far.
The DOnkey stuff was laugh out loud funny. When that one donkey kept braying my little dogs head shot stright up and they were glued to the TV. That cracked my wife and I up. And I'm glad that team got eliminated and almost wish both teams that had donkey troubles did. I didn't see much redeaming from either.
Shanna is Ryan Seacreast"s girl friend. He can pay for her million dollar shopping sprees.
And the donkey test, was cleverer than it seemed because donkey's don't tolerate as*es very well.
so glad to have AR back. the father/daughter team is probably my favorite so far. his singing while on the bike cracked me up....
...but nothing compared to how much i laughed during the donkey segment. GREAT TV.
I wonder how long the other teams will refer to Kynt and Vyxen as "the freaks". I hope that after getting to know them a bit that won't be the name they use to refer to them.
I strongly suspect bleeding-heart PC viewers are a lot more bothered by Kynyty and Vyxysyny being called "freaks" than they are. After all, their entire being is wrapped up in being freaks. It defines them. It's what they are. And if you go through life and the worst thing you're ever called is "freak," you've lived a happy life indeed.
The fact that someone would name herself "Vixen" is lame enough; the fact she spells it "Vyxsin" elevates it to unintentional self-parody. Happily for her, she found an equally insecure, attention starved companion (can you call him a "boyfriend"?) who also rebels against authority by spelling his own name with a "y". How alarmingly subversive.