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'Kitchen Nightmares': What part of 'business' do you not understand?
I've figured out how to make Kitchen Nightmares obsolete: No one is allowed to open, buy or invest in a restaurant until they have spent at least six months waiting tables, doing the prep-cook shuffle and washing dishes at a working restaurant. And then they'll have to flush wads of cash down the toilet, just to give them a feel for what the restaurant business is really like. Bingo. Problem solved.
The food was terrible -- it was like eating spoilers!
I'm a bit torn on this episode. This week, the problem wasn't horrible food, outsized personalities, overblown egos, rancid ingredients or any of the other usual suspects. Instead, Gordon Ramsay encountered a chef/owner who was a nice guy, but he had no clue about the business aspect of the restaurant business. On the one hand, that's probably a much more realistic scenario for why restaurants the world over go bust -- so many people have this dream of opening a restaurant (or an inn, or a coffee shop, or anything else in hospitality) and they fail to treat the place like a business. So I applaud the show for showing something real.
On the other hand, this scenario takes a fair bit of the drama out of the show. Fortunately, that drama was supplied by some crazy-ass customers for Gordon (and others!) to yell at. God bless New Jersey.
Our restaurant of the week is Campania, an Italian joint in Fairlawn, NJ. It was thriving up until 18 month ago, when Joe bought the place. Now it's in trouble.
Joe and the staff are great friends, they goof off, they hang out in the kitchen, they play around. That's fine, but you're not going to make any money that way. Nor are you going to make money by serving massive quantities of food, nor by keeping the fridge stocked with food that you'll never use up before it goes bad.
The food is OK, not great -- some dishes too bland, others too garlicky. The service is slow as hell. The oven is broken, and the handles are falling off the walk-in fridges. Time for a change.
And there is change, but very little drama. Gordon points out the place is grossly overstaffed for a slow day, and gets Joe to send a couple of people home. It looks like they're back when the place gets busy again. He pokes at the food in the fridge, but finds more wasted money than rotten food (I defy you to buy mussels and not find one or two open shells. Just don't cook or eat them.) He resorts to telling Joe what a crappy job he's doing in the middle of the restaurant, while customers are eating (I don't blame Joe for getting upset about that), and then tracking down Joe's wife to get her to angst about losing the house (while telling her he really doesn't want to upset her, and she shouldn't cry. Liar!)
After a not-terribly-hard sell, Gordon puts meatballs on the menu, redesigns the front of the house, whips the wait staff into shape by offering $100 for the first server to sell everything on the menu. The only bobble came when Joe got stressed out, started wandering the restaurant glad-handing rather than cooking, and things got backed up -- as in, folks waiting two hours for appetizers crazy. Gordon gave him a stern talking-to, he realized the error of his ways, and everything moved suspiciously smoothly from then on. Thanks, Gordon!
Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends:
- I'm seriously sick of hearing people on this show say "this is my dream" and "he deserves to live this dream." Fine, it's a dream, but if you want it to be more than a hobby, it's also got to be a business. Otherwise, get a real job and just throw fabulous dinner parties.
- Perhaps, when buying a restaurant, the first thing you want to sink money into is a working oven, or a refrigerator that actually closes.
- Josette won the menu-bingo contest, and I adored her. She's central-casting Italian-American jersey girl: tough-talking, raspy-voiced, all glares and snarls. Even when she's saying thank you and you're welcome, she sounds like she's mentally flipping you off. Love!
- Speaking of central-casting Jersey denizens: What the hell was going on with the disgruntled customers on the restaurant's relaunch night? I almost think the producers hired them to come in and create drama, because who acts like that? Who hangs out in the front of a place bitching and moaning when the meal is done? Who stands out front continuing with the bitching? And it wasn't one women who did that -- two! Two tough Jersey matrons talked trash about the place. Why? And then, in a moment that doubtless had the producers jigging with glee, a drunken customer started yelling at one of the complainers. Brilliant!
- Central casting, part three: the "purveyor" who stood around in a leather jacket and looked menacing, demanding his money.
- Gordon describes his initial chicken entrée: "It looks like a bison's tongue." Appetizing.
- I know that Joe was hemorrhaging money, and that the oversized plates were part of the problem. Here's an idea: Sell them to a restaurant supply shop, or list them on Craig's List -- anything to get some money back, since you need it so desperately. Or... smash them on the floor. That works, too, I guess.
- I find it suspicious that they didn't revisit the restaurant or give a progress report after Gordon left. The place's web site makes it look like it's still going -- and Joe and the (theoretically new) pastry chef giving cooking demonstrations at various kitchen stores. Interesting.
- Also on the web site: a link to Slow Food Northern New Jersey. That made me laugh. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's less about slow service and more a philosophy about cooking and eating (one I support), but I still think that's not the most politic link to put up for a place once known for three-hour wait times.
So what did you think -- were the disgruntled customers plants? Would you like to see Gordon take on more realistic troubled restaurants like Campania, or were you bored without the over-the-top drama? And just why do so many people dream of opening their own restaurant? Did no one else spend summers working the grill at a snack bar?
I think the US series (so far) has been over-dramatised compared with the UK version which seems more true to life.
The out-of-sequence editing on the US shows really bugs me.
As far as plants go, Gordon was accused of staging bad stuff in the UK and it was found to be false. I doubt it would be staged - he hates lies.
I love Gordon Ramsey he tells it like it is. Gordon does know the resturant business.
I do not believe those customers were staged at all.
I have met people like that. It gives them great pleasure to put someone down.
It gives them self importance to be able to tell everyone how right they were. rude & crude
No longer live in northern NJ, but still have family there. They get used to the rough-edged characters, but from the outside looking in - - those irate customers are typical NJ.
Bob, Houston | Nov 29, 2007 6:09:22 AM | #"I'm seriously sick of hearing people on this show say "this is my dream" and "he deserves to live this dream." Fine, it's a dream, but if you want it to be more than a hobby, it's also got to be a business."
I think you're on the right track. Hobbies are money pits since you're doing them purely for enjoyment. A business has to make money to survive. I've known a number of people who turned their hobbies into a business and most failed because (a) they had no idea how to run a business; (b) their "hobby" stopped being fun because running a business is hard work; (c) they vastly overestimated the demand; (d) they failed to understand what they like is not necessarily what everybody likes (lamb with chocolate sauce?); and (e) they largely just assumed they'd be successful. People don't understand that nightmares are dreams too and nightmares await the unprepared.
Which, of course, brings us to people's attitudes about success. Many people believe that luck determines whether or not one is successful. That's only true if luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. People want to skip the boring hard part, the preparation, and just skip to the success. And those people fail because they're "unlucky".
Chris | Nov 29, 2007 7:27:33 AM | #Me too Richard...it BUGS me when they show Gordon with one sweater on, then a different one, then another one all on the same day!! The woman that was yelling out in front...WHERE was the big table of people that were with her?? Still eating??
Kate 2 | Nov 29, 2007 7:48:46 AM | #I did not catch the episode...
But I do know Joe Cerniglia, now of Compania Rest in NJ
He has always been in my professional and personal opinion one of the most up and coming chefs in America and a truly great guy!
We actually met about 4 years ago when HE was the celebrity chef himself appearing on the 1500th episode of Fox and Friends.
(*I too used to do that show before my Food Network series)
What may not have been said on Gordon's show is that Joe Cerniglia was the Executive Chef at New York City's oldest and most famous steak house: Gallaghers and also was their corporate chef running the Grand Central Oyster Bar and ultimately created an entire franchise program for the company. He even opened A Gallaghers Steak House for them in Las Vegas.
The list goes on and on --but remember,this was/ is a TV show and not really reality.
Nowadays ANY restaurant is a crap shoot unless you are a serious BRAND Identity and if you are not, they usually come and set up right next to you.
Bottom Line, Joe has been out there and will always have my respect as a great chef!
See ya!
Geo
you are such a kiss ass george
The world | Nov 29, 2007 9:34:08 AM | #I live in New Jersey, and there are plenty of pain in the rear customers like the ones shown. The "purveyors" are also a lot like the one shown and often named Sal or Tony. I love a walking stereotype!
I watch the show with my chef boyfriend, and we liked the Campania episode for it's lack of ridiculousness. He would love to open his own restaurant someday, and Campania's pitfalls are very real, and Ramsey's advice is useful.
If my friends actually get out of work on time, we're heading over to Campania tonight to check it out!
TK | Nov 29, 2007 3:54:27 PM | #Okay, so, early in the episode, Gordy makes Joe fire two people. One is the "get a haircut, hippie" kid aptly named "Truck". The other is one of the 90 brunette girls in the episode, the only one to not get any face time prior.
Magically, both are back working for the place by week's end, without so much as a single clip devoted to explaining the rationale.
Gordon calling the irate customer an "old bag" was worth the entire effort.
Frank Rook | Nov 30, 2007 4:51:55 AM | #I didn't think he fired them, I think he sent them home for the evening because they had 11 people there and probably not even that many customers. So I wasn't surprised to see them again later in the show. And both of them showed up again on the "big opening" night.
And I suspected the almost over-the-top angry people could've been from a competing restaurant or something. Or maybe they were just angry.
I am going there for my 40th b-day with my brothers & sisters. I will give my report around Feb 14th
bricks | Jan 22, 2008 7:43:43 PM | #I'm watching it now on T.V and I go to N.J alot and the customers are typical NJ - Well done Gordan telling that old lady she was talking out of her 'rear' haha
Linfs | Feb 6, 2008 2:43:24 PM | #I have lived in NJ all my life and not everyone in north Jersey is RUDE like that. Dont lump all of us together. I am always polite to people no matter where I go.
Joanne | Mar 28, 2008 12:25:56 PM | #we love Chef Ramsay's two shows. He's straight forward and caters to no cry babies.
Rock on Chef!
I don't get to watch much tv, and really isn't too many shows I would watch. But I do love watching Kitchen Nightmares! Being from Hudson Valley Area, I am familiar with many of the restaurants and people, in one way or another. I did wonder what the "intent" of the complaining old "bag" (Gordon's word) was...I mean, what was her point...just to complain.
I also questioned....why would you (or rather HOW) have a restaurant and no working ovens?? I'm not in the biz (my pop was in L.I.)but even I know that ovens are probably a good idea if you are cooking food.
I'm glad that Gordon added some visual appeal to the food (and George, it was nice to hear from you regarding Joe's background...that would've been nice to know.)
It was nice watching a "real" situation for a change which could really help other struggling restauranteurs.
I enjoy the show....yes, Virginia....there are rude people in NJ (and other places as well)....Unusual to watch someone "get told off" on tv (Gordon pulls no punches!)....and the wife crying scene prob could've not been aired. IMHO
Look forward to more shows!
Jeanne
Was just there, tonight november 29th
Loved the food, exceptional service, kind of chilly, but the waiter added a portable heater to warm up the frontal dining area.
truth be told, it's not the best italian food out there, but certainly not bad either. great service, joes mom runs the front end, and seriously must get tired of all the How's gordon questions...lol { We made it a point not to ask!}
i think it is indeed a winning formula.
oh and we had to try the meatballs...LOL Great but we both agreed...Our moms make better one's
Michael | Nov 29, 2008 7:53:31 PM | #Freaking eye-talians.
Sicily is close to Africa and it shows.
Kevin McMick | Jan 28, 2009 8:42:40 PM | #km - cheap shot need some publicity yourself?
richard | Mar 27, 2009 4:25:24 PM | #i need the meatball recipe to cook for my son. we always watch kitchen nightmares and hells kitchen. they are one of our favorites. we have bbc on demand so we can watch whenever we can.
j martinez | Apr 15, 2009 2:27:06 PM | #No way was any of that staged! That is not what Gordon stands for and he wouldn't allow that.
You can tell when something is real and that first lady was a bitch and has obviously went through her life complaining about everything. She wants to think that she's the only one that can cook well in the entire world. Gordon put her in her place because he's an honest guy and he knew she was lying, he knew the food was great!
I also think you call him out too much in your review. He's turning these restaurants around and saving the incomes of not just the owner but the other workers at the restaurant and their families. He HAD to talk to the wife to get the "real" story of how bad it is and exactly what's on the line. I thought that was the best part of the show when they were talking honestly in the other room and she said "Your going to help us right?" Very heartfelt and real. Plus the best way to get a husband on board with the plan is to get the wife on board.
I thought this show at Campania was one of the best visits. I think you are wrong about the food not being a problem in the beginning with taste and presentation. Don't you remember Gordon tasting all the dishes in the beginning? Too much garlic, no taste of soup...etc.
I would like if Gordon would tell you that you are talking out of your ass for saying his show planted unruly customers. lol I have worked in many restaurants and there are customers like those crazy loud complainers all the time. They are the imposible to please customers that usually want everything for free.
I am looking forward to your next review, this is the first time that I've red your column. You got me riled up so that's good writing to me! lol
Jen F. | Jul 11, 2009 8:06:34 PM | #
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