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Attack of the clone on 'Smallville'
So, I take it more than a few of you were upset with last week's recap. And that's fine, that's your right, and if I'm going to put my words and thoughts out on Al Gore's internet, I can take the lumps that come with it. I would beg to differ, however, with several assertions that I straight up hate Smallville. Absolutely, positively false, and for giving that impression I will apologize. Its highs are incredibly high, but its lows are staggering, especially when contrasted with what the show can do when running on all cylinders.
To wit, let's look at how I ended last week's review:
Big picture? A potentially epic Season 7 is shaping up: Supergirl. Braniac. Lex prepping for intergalactic war. Jor-El and Zor-El's battle echoing into present day Earth. All the trappings of a HUGE battle. So, Smallville, cut the Benny Hill-esque supersex and get to the good stuff already, will you?
That was my way of saying that there's been some great stuff in Season 7, and while I didn't like last week's Lana-centric episode, it didn't mean I hated Smallville as a whole. And guess what? This week's episode seemingly heard my plea, ramped all of it up to 11, and had me absolutely stunned for an hour. It was that good, people. You know it, I know it, and the replicant of your dead mother raised from the dead with all of her memories and your father's Victory Ring knows it.
I wanted big, and boy, Zor-El does nothing small. Looking like The Merovingian from "The Matrix," he did not mess around, essentially saying, "For my first act, I'm going to blot out the sun!" Fantastic. Much better, than say, using his powers to win beauty contests as a cover for robbing banks. Of course, this wasn't actually Zor-El, nor was it actually Lara, Clark's birth mother. They were self-aware replicants, with all the memories and knowledge of their former selves. In short, they've gone way, way, way beyond Dolly the Sheep in terms of cloning techniques on Krypton. No wonder Zor-El wants to kill everyone and, in his own words, "repopulate the planet."
Zor-El's keen on ruling not as a merely a despot, however, but as newly appointed leader of the House of El. In essence, he sees the foursome of himself, Lara, Kara, and Kal as the "true" El family, stripped free from the perversion of Jor-El's presence. Course, his familial bonds last as long as his family lives in a constant state of fear and deference to his will, and so Zor-El pulls a bait and switch on Clark, using the blue kryptonite in Jor-El's Victory Ring to render Clark powerless. As a man married mere months ago, I can relate to the feeling of a ring rendering feelings of powerlessness.
Luckily, before Clark's impotence, we saw a sweet, and I do mean a bisyllabic "suh-weet" move where Clark defended the vessel of his father from the replicant of his uncle. That sounds ridiculous in print but looked phenomenal onscreen, and in a few CGI-'ed moments summed up why this particular struggle works so well: it's not merely a global threat (as Season 5's Braniac/Zod threat was), but extremely personal as well (at stake is Clark's family and very identity). Having those two in combination is always essential, yet often unfulfilled on this show.
And yet, even having protected his dad's vessel, Clark's still in the doghouse, much like at the beginning of Season 5. And much like the beginning of Season 7, Clark is once again powerless, unable to remove the Ring of Impotence. And Kara: well, Surfer Girl's in Detroit with amnesia, the only really "ugh" part of the entire episode. Why Detroit? Maybe because they make super...cars? Beats me. But amnesia plots, aside from maybe "Memento," almost never end well. (I'm looking at you, Peter Petrelli.) In that it makes Clark feel as alone as ever (thanks to his need to see his faux mother), it's fine for now, but hopefully 1) she remembers her identity before the end of sweeps, or 2) this sets in motion a "Braniac 2.0 trains Lara to be Zor-El's fist on Earth" storyline. Otherwise, this is just laziness on the part of Smallville.
But hey, let's move on from one dysfunctional family to another: the Luthors! I'd personally love to watch The House of El and the House of Luthor go at it on Family Feud. That would be spectacular.
Host: Name something you wear when going out on the town.
Lionel Luthor: A tuxedo.
Gabriel Grant: The neverending shame due to not living up to my father's expectations.
Clark: Drat, Gabriel just took my answer.
Zor-El: The entrails of my victims.
Anyways, turns out there's one more member of the Luthor clan than we thought: our favorite inappropriately young Editor-in-Chief of the Daily Planet Grant Gabriel is in fact the long-thought-to-be-dead Julian Luthor! Alllllrighty then. So much for post-partum depression-fueled murder, I suppose. I'm not often a fan of soap opera twists such as this, but it does explain how a guy so young could be Editor-in-Chief, as well as why he's loyal to Lex. I'm still not sold on Michael Cassidy as an actor, but I'm at least glad that Grant is no longer portrayed as a mere Luthor stooge.
As for his romance with Lois: meh. At least Chloe got in a few good, "Girl, you realize you're setting feminism back 50 years, right?" type of lines across Lois' massive forehead, but every scene between them requires both to go on and on about how hot and heavy their chemistry is. That's not good. That means the writers have to spell out what's supposed to happening on screen. If this were a radio play? Sure, fine and dandy. But onscreen, I need to not merely hear how passionate they are, I have to see it. And so far? Not seeing it.
Speaking of not seeing it, not a lot of Lana this week, hmmm? She mainly made tea for Lara and got thrown against a chainlink wall. While sipping tea in an insanely awkward "I can't believe I'm having Earl Grey with my boyfriend's dead mom" moment, NotLara actually said, "You're worried he'll see the darkness within you," at which point I thought, "Wow, this is one perceptive replicant." She can see what Clark cannot, even when faced with the carnage that ensued from Lana's temporary power-up last week. You'll never see me at a Lana-Con, trust me, but having her at least aware that she might have too much anger and hate to be worthy of Clark's affection makes her character less annoying, makes any further acts of goodness more earned, and makes any slip back into the black that much more harmful.
All in all, this is what I want in an hour of Smallville. Not perfect, but a thrilling hour of television all the same. I just hope the Zor-El stuff is merely paused, not stopped: there's tons of legroom left in that story for this season. But again, the presence of Braniac 2.0, the amnesia of Lara, and the anger of Jor-El all point to the fact that Clark will essentially have to rebuild for the rest of the season if he ever hopes to enjoy victory against Zor-El for good.
What did you think of tonight's episode? Did you like the Grant-as-Julian twist? And how many married men are checking their bands for blue kryptonite right now?
Ryan also posts every 108 minutes over at Boob Tube Dude.
Completely awesome episode. This was one of the better episodes this season, hands down. Kara being stranded in Detroit is hands down far worse than being stranded in the Phantom Zone. I mean, come on, it's Detroit. I feel like it makes perfect sense, especially since Kara made the statement about how she only sees the good in humanity. I feel that spending some time in the Motor City could turn that optimism around, and perhaps renew the tension and distrust between her and Clark. I certainly hope that Zor-El is not done, but I would take an encore by Zod and Braniac in place of another Fortress of El Divided storyline.
Angelus | Nov 15, 2007 7:21:58 PM | #I agree sending Kara to Detroit seemed a little random. Hopefully when she returns the writers won't offend their Michigan viewers.
i liked the all the scenes with the journalism cousins and the Kryptonian ones. Especially when they were together. Chloe as usual was in the middle of everyone else's storylines. I hope Grant's new revelation will make him more interesting. Helen Slater was great. Since Jimmy was the only main character not involved in the show tonight I wonder how much of this he will find out.
Penny | Nov 15, 2007 7:45:32 PM | #Should have been a two-parter. There was plenty of action, but there was easily enough material for two 82 minutes of screen time. As it was, they had to gloss over any depth they could have given to Clark meeting is Mom, the super-evilness of Zol-El, and it the end it seemed almost as if they were going through the motions checking off the items needed for the episode.
tacitus | Nov 15, 2007 9:46:44 PM | #Once again, the writers on this show have completely forgotten their comic book source material, but now have forgotten their own history! First of all, blue krytonite does not strip powers, it's the equivalent to green kryptonite for Bizarro; it has no effect on Clark in the comics. Second, they are throwing seven years of backstory right out the window with the "Grant is Julian" story. Are we supposed to forget that Lex remembered he saw his mother suffocate Julian with a pillow, and that by the time Lionel found them, it was too late and he blamed Lex for the whole thing??!! How stupid do they think we are? Or is the effect of the writer's strike, and the guy who wrote this ep never watched a previous episode of this series, but they were hard up since the regular writers were picketing? Come on, People!
K | Nov 15, 2007 10:13:51 PM | #I really don't have anything to add, other than saying that I always enjoy your reviews. I may not agree with them at times, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it.
Oh yeah ... Detroit? Nothing against Detroit, interesting city last time I was there. But why Detroit? Oh, I guess I am curious what the end was supposed to be. Seems like the fortress was lighting up/blowing up?
Tony | Nov 16, 2007 12:26:32 AM | #Julian was born when Lex was 12 so no wonder Grant looks so young, he's only 17! I'm sticking with a clone theory and Lex is lying to Grant. Sad when the use of a clone is the only logic I can cling to.
Also, I'm pretty sure that Clark got his powers back. The ring vanished when he destroyed the crystal, but who knows what kind of punishment Jor-el is cooking up.
Not mush Lana in this episode and yet still too, too much of her!
bkwurm1 | Nov 16, 2007 5:37:10 AM | #Ok first off, why not Detroit, I am from Detroit, and we are a pretty amazing city, we are closer to the North Pole than New York and LA, so I say Yeah to Detroit. Now I have a question that didn't make sense to last night, since Clark lost his powers, how did he get to the fortress?? Someone please help me with this.
Nancy | Nov 16, 2007 7:50:18 AM | #I think he found the Key and entered the Fortress through the Kawatchee caves like he has since season 5. I know that they haven't shown him do that recently, but why couldn't he it should still be possible to enter that way. He and Chloe did find the Key in the barn.
Penny | Nov 16, 2007 8:09:27 AM | #Well, if I had wanted soap opera twists, I would watch Days of Our Lives, not Smallville. I agree with the previous comments that said the writers of this episode must have forgotten to watch the past seasons.
It doesn't make sense that Grant is supposed to be Julian because they showed us the flashback episode where Lionel blamed Lex for killing his baby brother (as K mentioned). If they really wanted to protect Julian as a baby (and hide his real identity), why couldn't they just tell people that Julian died of SIDS or some other infant disease? What was the point of creating a SCANDALOUS cover story by claiming it was a murder? Also, it seems that Grant/Julian is supposed to be 17/18 years old -- is he Doogie Howser, editor-in-chief?
The second soap opera twist was Kara getting amnesia. Amnesia must be making a TV comeback this year because it also happened to Alexis on "Ugly Betty" and Peter on "Heroes". Smallville writers get an F for originality. :-(
The good parts of this episode were any scenes with Chloe. She helped Clark (thanks, Toyota Yaris!)and tried to talk some sense into Lois. Thankfully, Lana had only 5 minutes of screen time this week.
The whole blocking out the sun plot reminded me of past storylines from "The Simpsons" (Season 6)and "Angel" (Season 4).
Paige | Nov 16, 2007 8:32:00 AM | #Good episode, a little uneven but that's Smallville...
New Guy | Nov 16, 2007 11:32:07 AM | #The Ring of Impotence, I love it!
Doane | Nov 16, 2007 11:43:00 AM | #Are you kidding me? The episode was awesome. It did well in the ratings 2.8/4 --- not bad!
The CW Fan | Nov 16, 2007 3:25:44 PM | #Can anyone confirm this?
Chicago Metropolitan Area, Nielsen Survey
Thursday, November 15, 2007:
Households: Station/Rating/Share
CBS: 10.1 / 16
ABC: 10.0 / 16
CW: 5.6 / 11
FOX: 4.5 / 9
NBC: 4.3 / 10
Adults 18-34:
Station/Rating/Share
CW: 3.1 / 10
ABC: 2.8 / 10
CBS: 2.4 / 8
FOX: 2.0 / 6
NBC: 1.7 / 4
Adults 18-49:
Station/Rating/Share
ABC: 5.8 / 14
CBS: 5.0 / 10
FOX: 4.1 / 9
NBC: 3.9 / 7
CW: 3.5 / 9
Adults 25-54:
Station/Rating/Share
CBS: 3.4 / 7
ABC: 3.1 / 8
NBC: 1.9 / 6
FOX: 1.9 / 5
CW: 1.8 /6
I heard that the 3/5 chunk of the 5.6 rating belongs to Smallville and the rest is for Supernatural.
WoW! | Nov 16, 2007 3:48:09 PM | #1) Is obvious that Jor-El's warning translates into SOMEONE close to Clark will die. Spoilers hinted that i'll be Chloe or Lionel.
2) Grant is going to die. Look at the www.kryptonsite.com spoilers page.... and he is a clone.
3) Concerned about AI (Jor-El) in FOS. Too bossy, negative and I don't know...not Jor-El type.
Call me ignorant if you want, but all this anger over Clark's character because they expect him to be flawlessly perfect? I never expected him to be and I don't think they are hurting the image of the iconic character at all. That goes for Lex, Lois, Kara and Jimmy too. I consider this an alternate universe or elseworld from all other source material.
cm | Nov 16, 2007 6:45:57 PM | #how the hell did clark get to the fortress? he had his powers removed right?
mike | Nov 16, 2007 6:50:03 PM | #I was confused about the ring. Did Clark somehow get it off? Did it automatically disappear when Zor-El was destroyed? Was he still supposed to be wearing it after Zor-El was destroyed but wasn't by way of producers error (he wasn't when he was bailing hay at the conclusion of the ep)?
Thanks for any info.
Rishi | Nov 16, 2007 7:27:24 PM | #Rishi,I don't think Clark's powers have anything to do with his ability to get in the Fortress. Remember Chloe was able to get in them just from the portal in the Kawatche caves in season 5 and she is not Kryptonian.
cm | Nov 16, 2007 8:07:10 PM | #yeah, they're playing fast and loose with the history, but its still pretty cool to me. Now what does the taskmaster Jor-El have in store for his stupid son? At some point, Kal-El's got to learn to listen to his old man.
steve | Nov 19, 2007 9:28:21 AM | #Just why would killing a loved one of Clark's be a just punishment for not listening to Jor-el? Before at least Jonathan's death was about maintaining a balance, but to plan a murder because Clark doesn't obey him is nuts.
If that happens I'll have to start siding with Lex. Maybe he and Clark can reconcile, team up, and blast the FOS and its sadistict AI into teany tiny bits.
Oh, and the ring vanishes after the blue crystal is destroyed. Clark has his powers back as revealed in the scene where he is hefting hay bales in front of Lana like they are made of air.
Bkwurm1 | Nov 19, 2007 1:18:22 PM | #
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