Stephen Colbert's running for President
A quick geographical survey, dear readers. Do we have any readers from the fine state of South Carolina? Any blog-scanning Gamecocks?
What up in South Cackalacky, y'all? Are you ready for the most important test of your democratic franchise in over a century?
On Tuesday (Oct. 16) night, Stephen Colbert used his dual Comedy Central late night platforms to announce his candidacy in next year's South Carolina primary.
First, Colbert returned to his old Daily Show stomping grounds for a sit-down with Jon Stewart, who asked directly about his presidential aspirations (hinted at over the weekend in a New York Times Op-Ed piece).
"I'm glad you asked, Jon," Colbert replied. "Because tonight I, Stephen Colbert, am officially announcing that I have decided to officially consider whether or not I will announce that I am running for President of the United States. And I will be making an announcement of that decision very soon, preferably on a more prestigious show."
That more prestigious show turned out to be The Colbert Report, mere seconds later.
"After nearly 15 minutes of soul-searching, I have heard the call," he announced. "Nation, I shall seek the office of the President of the United States."
The news was greeted by a roar from the audience and a shower of confetti and balloons, plus an on-screen graphic raving "I AM DOING IT!"
Referencing the James Bryce quote that "A favorite son is a politician respected or admired in his own state... but little regarded beyond it," Colbert said that he would only be running in his one-time native state.
"I am from South Carolina," he said. "I am for South Carolina and I defy any other candidate to pander more to the people of South Carolina, those beautiful, beautiful people."
Colbert proceeded to cut up a premade Colbert/Stewart '08 bumper sticker, indicating he had yet to determine his hypothetical running mate.
"It could be Colbert/Huckabee, Colbert/Putin or even Colbert/Colbert."
Political analyst Jeff Greenfield then showed up to note that Colbert's place in the race -- he says he plans to run as both a Democrat and a Republican -- could spell bad news for for former Alaska senator Mike Gravel.
Colbert listed his service time in the Marina Corps and the Hair Force as among his major qualifications.
It remains to be seen whether Colbert is truly committed to attempting to get the 2.5 percent of the South Carolina vote necessary to acquire a single delegate, or whether he's just hoping to boost the sales position of I Am America (And So Can You!), which currently ranks at No. 5 on Amazon's bestsellers list.
Is there any reason to take Colbert any less seriously than Ron Paul?
Go Colbert! I hope it's for Real, not for a big joke.
I would tottaly vote for him, everyone would. People think that he will make a mockery out of the election, but I think he is someone who knows what he's talking about, and he has a life, unlike thouse low life polotitions! :)
Yep, one regular reader from SC here -- a grad of USC, and work at Clemson! Love that Colbert is from SC, displacing the tie between Leeza Gibbons and Vanna White as the most famous living sandlapper (look it up!).
I love it. All he needs to do is show up at some Carolina football games and he'll instantly have 80,000 votes come primary day.
go colbert!!!!
Hey man, you should run and you shouldn't hide. I believe you have great potential and could do much better than some of the old school, who don't know the difference between Austria and Australia. I would vote for you.
I don't live in South Carolina, so I couldn't vote for him. But I live close enough that I'd be willing to drive up and volunteer for his campaign one weekend.
are they kidding me with this, Colbert is an act, why not have Martin Sheen run for President in the guise of Josiah Bartlet
not to mention his contract with ComdeyCentral, im sure that doesnt allow time for him to be both President and TV show host.
shameless publicity stunt
Makes me wanna live in South Carolina
I think Dennis Haysbert should run for president. He was a great president on '24'. Of course his president was ******inated, so maybe he's afraid to throw his hat into the ring.
Stephen Colbert is one of the greatest debaters I have ever seen in my life and I would pay GOOD money just to see him in 1presidental debate as well as the president of the united state of course!