'Smallville': Children of the sweet corn
A lot of you took issue with what you felt was an unfair character assassination of Lois Lane in last week's Smallville recap. You felt I was being overly harsh and guilty of letting my feelings for the character of Chloe Sullivan cloud my judgment. I won't try and convince you otherwise: we're all allowed to have our opinions about such matters, and as long as we all air such opinions in an open, and above all mature, manner, then I welcome all such discussion in the future. Also? Lois Lane was NOWHERE in this week's episode, which means the producers agreed with me, which means I win, so neener neener.
This week's episode has me excited once I read its title: "Fierce." Finally, the long-awaited episode with Tyra Banks as a meteor-infected supermodel! Sadly, no Tyra to be found. Kara doesn't even watch America's Next Top Model, opting instead to watch Project Runway. In short, even people ON the CW don't watch the CW. (OK, she name-drops Beauty and the Geek too, but honestly, people.) In lieu of Tyra, we get a trio of supermodel-looking women dubbed "The Weather Girls" by Chloe, who apparently leech onto public events involving skimpy clothing in order to mask their intent to steal valuable items from said towns. This group often comes into direct conflict with another criminal group, known most likely as The Village People.
In the annals of lame supervillains on this show, The Weather Girls rank in the Top Five Most Lame. And this is Smallville we're talking about, a show that once gave its Freak of the Week all the powers and abilities of a freakin' gopher. One of the weather girls could freeze things, another could create tornados, and the third died before we could even find out what her power was. I think the writers couldn't decide between "the ability to make it partly cloudy" or "the ability to create lots of dew," and so killed her off before having to explain her power.
The show introduces these women via the Miss Sweet Corn Pageant, a device that set off alarm bells in my head. My best friend, known only as "The Commander" online, once stated a theory about Smallville that I think can be amended after this episode. He theorized that the quality any particular episode of Smallville was inverse to the amount of skin Lois Lane showed that week. So, when the show resorted to sticking Erica Durance in an American flag bikini in order to infiltrate a strip club in "Exposed," this indicated unequivocally that the producers felt it was a terrible, terrible episode. I think we can include Kara, or really, any main female character in his hypothesis. "Fierce" clearly tried to distract us from the ridiculous plot by flashing cleavage at every opportunity. I'm not here to recap cleavage (couldn't work that into my contract, sadly), so back to the episode.
Kara enters the Miss Sweet Corn Pageant in order to normalize herself in her new surroundings, and, in a leap of faith so wide that even Neo would have a hard time bridging it, falls instantly head over heels for Jimmy Olson. Now, I've nothing against Jimmy, but I'm not sure he's even the kind of guy who girls would notice from across the bar, never mind across the universe. And then I thought, "Oh wait, I get it: it's this week's installment of 'Let's Kick Chloe While She's Down!'"
That's right, folks. Wasn't enough that Chloe's entire life's work and passion was called into question as her less-talented cousin leapfrogged over her at the Daily Planet, but now her love life will be destroyed by a Kryptonian hottie, but only after a few weeks of Jimmy Olsen telling her how much he hates krypto-freaks, which will drive Chloe into a deeper and deeper pit of despair, and oh look, my anger's caused a ridiculously long run-on sentence, excuse me while I hit myself in the face with a brick.
OK, much better now. Thus endeth this week's installment of "Let's Kick Chloe While She's Down."
Chloe, naturally, fared poorly, while Lana Lang, naturally, managed to come out of customs smelling like roses. Clearly, the border patrol did not heed my warning and set up defenses at the border in order to intercept this woman. (Either that, or the boys over at CTU set up a perimeter, a tactic that has not worked in six years of 24 and yet they keep trying it anyways.) Lana's return prompted Clark to state that virtually nothing she could ever do would change his feelings about her, which should make Clark noble but actually turns him into the most whipped man not named Brad Pitt on the planet. As if winning him back that easily wasn't enough, she gets Lex to confess that she's a brilliant criminal mind, so brilliant that she earns his respect. So, essentially, Lana is both the smartest, most desirable, and most beautiful woman on the entire planet, so far as the show's two leads are concerned. At this point, I don't know what she could possibly do to annoy one of these men. She could run over Krypto with a semi-truck, and Clark would simply smile, shake his head, and say, "Well, good ol' Krypto lived a full life anyways. Let's go grab a smoothie!"
The Lex stuff is even more insanely disappointing, because Lex has always been one of the most consistently solid characters in the show. And yet he started to go downhill right around...hrm, can't pinpoint it, oh wait, I know! When he started chasing Lana! She's like kryptonite for awesome! Ugh. The old Lex was bribing scientists and invading Kryptonian caves and being all bad-ass, and now he's so sad about losing Lana that he spends his days in the Luthor study writing sonnets into his Hello Kitty journal.
The only thing keeping him going at this point is Kara, the woman he knows but can't prove to be his savior. Her saving him may not make him change into a "good" person in the traditional sense, but will most likely reinforce his "I'm doing terrible things in order to save the world" mentality from Season 6 and the ill-named Project 33.1. This is a Lex who sees himself as the hero of his own narrative, destined to use his vision, resources, and drive to do what others cannot: save the citizens of Earth from the inevitable alien invasion that will end life on Earth as we know it. That self-conception is inherent in his final question while confronting Kara at episode's end: "Are you a savior, or are you a warning?" He's no longer the self-actualized villain; he's the newly christened champion.
See, THAT'S the Lex I want, people. And that's the mythology I want. Lex's ever-growing sense of purpose, coupled with the Kryptonian S.O.S. planted over one hundred years ago into a Smallville time capsule, is catapulting Smallville into potentially HUGE story potential. In essence, this show might have someone ask, "Who deserves to rule the world?" It's a question asked periodically throughout the show, starting with the initial tension between Clark and Jor-El over Clark's mission on earth. The show has long hinted that Krypton held long-standing interest in Earth, and tonight's revelation of the S.O.S. only reinforces what was learned in the caves during Season 2: there's a clear history between Krypton and Earth, and Clark/Lex/Kara will be at the epicenter of the latest collision between these two worlds.
What do you make of Lana's return to Smallville? Has Lex changed for the better or worse in his motivations? Why did it take Lana six years to discover Clark's powers but six seconds to discover Kara's?
For more TV reviews and analysis, check out Ryan at Boob Tube Dude.
Very funny comment about running over krypto. Lex needs to get bad *** again. I'm very curious about who the other kryptonian is thats been on earth longer then Clark.
I really don't know what to think about the conversation Jimmy and Chloe had at the steps of her apartment. She tried to tell him about the danger of the meteor infected all last year then she unfortunately becomes one of them so she hesitates to tell him about it. I don't know why she doesn't tell anyone be it Clark, Lois or Jimmy they care about her and would probably be supportive. She should stop keeping secrets it never works for anyone in that town.
Clark and Kara remind me of the way he was with Jonathan in high school.He needs to understand that she needs to learn to control her powers in her own way.
I don't understand what they are doing with Lex or Lana's storylines this year.
Clark is too trusting with Lana. Something seems su****ious about her.
Did anyone notice that Lana is suddenly not wearing all black and is back to her bright innocent girl clothes?
I still don't like Grant.
I think Clark and Kara's conversation in the loft about Clark and humanity was the better part of the episode. Maybe his denial of his alien hertitage will begin to recede.
I am probably one of the few people that doesn't have a problem with any character on the show and likes what they are trying to do. I am ready for next weeks episode.
Penny--Clark does know that Chloe is infected, he just doesn't know what her power is and I think she has been too scared to even explore that herself, being that she died and all.
Overall, I liked the episode. Lex seems weak now, but it is simply one more step in what will make him the man he becomes. He has now been rejected by everyone he has cared about, save his mother who died. Lionel, Clark, and Lana have all turned on him, which leaves him alone and pushes him closer to the dark side.
I am also enjoying Kara quite a bit so far. I like that she handles her powers far differently than Clark, though I was scared for a second there that she was gonna fess up to Lex.
I love Chloe and did think it was sad that so much bad is headed her way, but I feel there has to be a purpose for it...so I'll let it slide for now.
As for Lana, I am okay with her being there only so far as that it will allow her and Clark to FINALLY discover that their relationship will never work. Though I do loathe her quite a lot.
As for her 'change', it seemed pretty lame to me. She stole $10 million from Lex to disappear and she is afraid Clark will find out? After all Lex did, he's lucky that's all she did.
Travis, thanks for answering one of my questions.
Ryan,
Lex has been chasing Lana - off and on - since season 1.
I put the over/under for next week's installment of "Kicking Chloe" prior to the 2nd commercial break.
Seriously, why wasn't Lana's plane shot down over a vast, empty ocean? She completely makes Clark and Lex look pathethic shadows of the characters they once were before she got her claws into them. All I'm saying, is Lex had better be playing this inspid little twit. As to Kara's secret? She's The Lana. She must know everything, and everyone must love her. And Clark? *sighs* You once were a great, and beautiful superhero, Clarkie. Then Lana got her claws into you, only once you escape her you'll be so mindfrakked, you'll settle for Lois Lane. Sorry, dude. Unless, this whole season is a whacky, whacky dream of course, and Lana is really the Stepford wannabe wife from hell, you lose.
What a pity she had to come back. I absolutely loved Clark in eps 1 & 2. And now we're back to the same old castrated-Clark.
Also, yes, another installment of "kicking Chloe when she's down". Never let it be said that this show ever, ever shows appreciation for anyone else if they're not Lana, or Reporter!Extraordinaire Lois Lane, who just so gosh darn amazing? We actually don't have to see her working on articles because, as you know, she's dark haired, apparently beautiful and has the initials "LL" and therefore will be propped up while they beat Chloe down. Thankfully two eps without having to endure her grating presence, so I'll take what I can get if the alternative is having to endure a double dose of irritating with Lana and Lois.
And Jimmy? Why the frak is this horrible relationship with Chloe still going on? Oh no, wait. It's a new installment of The Beat Chloe Down Show. Right, another hottie to beat her down for. *rolls eyes* The sooner Chloe and Jimmy end, the better.
I'll get the "I love you for not caring what people think and saying how you really feel" comment out of the way first, so I can hit on everything else :)
Lois gets into The DP last week and this week it's all about Chloe getting a frontpage byline? Ha. Awesome.
"Kara doesn't even watch America's Next Top Model, opting instead to watch Project: Runway."
That WAS pretty lame that they didn't even pimp their OWN SHOW.
I love that Chloe names groups of people with super powers like a good reporter.
"Now, I've nothing against Jimmy, but I'm not sure he's even the kind of guy who girls would notice from across the bar, never mind across the universe."
That's EXACTLY why I've had issues with Chloe being so head over heels in love with him.
But, I think it's supposed to be the "Jimmy represents normalcy and Earth to her" type of thing like Clark and Lana (which ugh, needs to end...BADLY).
"Oh wait, I get it: it's this week's installment of 'Let's Kick Chloe While She's Down!'"
As long as they reward her in the end and make it worth my while, I'm okay with it.
Underdogs always triumph at the end, so I fully expect good things to come for Chloe.
"Lana's return prompted Clark to state that virtually nothing she could ever do would change his feelings about her, which should make Clark noble but actually turns him into the most whipped man not named Brad Pitt on the planet."
Ha! Yes!
I'm hoping that Lana does some TERRIBLE things that make Clark wake up and see the reality that IS EvilLana. I think it was foreshadowing that.
"As if winning him back that easily wasn't enough, she gets Lex to confess that she's a brilliant criminal mind, so brilliant that she earns his respect."
I think Lex is playing her; that he's setting her up for something, luring her into a false sense of security. I really don't want S7Lex to disappoint me with getting back at the ex who screwed him. If he did, S3Lex would seriously kick his butt for that because THAT boy knew who to take care of Helen.
I really liked the Kara/Lex scene because I sense that he KNOWS about Clark and thus, knows about Kara.
I like the idea that Lex thinks they are the start of an alien invasion because that is SO Lex Luthor, especially, from Birthright. That's the Lex I want to see, so that was great for me.
Another great review, my friend!
WTF moments abound in this episode.
1)Where was the conversation where Clark asked Lana where she's been, what crime she committed, what was it exactly that Lex did to her, how did her DNA get into that Jeep, is she still married to Lex, and a host of other questions Clark should have been asking instead of blindly accepting her back? Don't tell Chloe she's alive and back, but let's walk hand in hand out in public where everyone can see us, ok?
2) Lois, Lois Lane (the General's daughter) was hired at the Daily Planet with no credentials, no resume, no serious journalistic background.. and this week she's on ***ignment?? In New York? Writing some type of piece on Rwanda?
Don't even get me started on the demoralization, deconstruction, and demeaning of Chloe, the only character on this show that makes it possible for me to tune in every week.
Thanks for the great review!
LOL at your comment:
Lana's return prompted Clark to state that virtually nothing she could ever do would change his feelings about her, which should make Clark noble but actually turns him into the most whipped man not named Brad Pitt on the planet.
I practically spit out my coffee. Thanks for the humor and TGIF.
Gen- I think Lana told Clark about most of this during a break. She approaches him in the barn, and then the next scene is in the kitchen with them sitting down and talking. I think they just didn't show her explain everything since it could be tedious to regular viewers.