A lot of you took issue with what you felt was an unfair character assassination of Lois Lane in last week's Smallville recap. You felt I was being overly harsh and guilty of letting my feelings for the character of Chloe Sullivan cloud my judgment. I won't try and convince you otherwise: we're all allowed to have our opinions about such matters, and as long as we all air such opinions in an open, and above all mature, manner, then I welcome all such discussion in the future. Also? Lois Lane was NOWHERE in this week's episode, which means the producers agreed with me, which means I win, so neener neener.

This week's episode has me excited once I read its title: "Fierce." Finally, the long-awaited episode with Tyra Banks as a meteor-infected supermodel! Sadly, no Tyra to be found. Kara doesn't even watch America's Next Top Model, opting instead to watch Project Runway. In short, even people ON the CW don't watch the CW. (OK, she name-drops Beauty and the Geek too, but honestly, people.) In lieu of Tyra, we get a trio of supermodel-looking women dubbed "The Weather Girls" by Chloe, who apparently leech onto public events involving skimpy clothing in order to mask their intent to steal valuable items from said towns. This group often comes into direct conflict with another criminal group, known most likely as The Village People.

In the annals of lame supervillains on this show, The Weather Girls rank in the Top Five Most Lame. And this is Smallville we're talking about, a show that once gave its Freak of the Week all the powers and abilities of a freakin' gopher. One of the weather girls could freeze things, another could create tornados, and the third died before we could even find out what her power was. I think the writers couldn't decide between "the ability to make it partly cloudy" or "the ability to create lots of dew," and so killed her off before having to explain her power.

The show introduces these women via the Miss Sweet Corn Pageant, a device that set off alarm bells in my head. My best friend, known only as "The Commander" online, once stated a theory about Smallville that I think can be amended after this episode. He theorized that the quality any particular episode of Smallville was inverse to the amount of skin Lois Lane showed that week. So, when the show resorted to sticking Erica Durance in an American flag bikini in order to infiltrate a strip club in "Exposed," this indicated unequivocally that the producers felt it was a terrible, terrible episode. I think we can include Kara, or really, any main female character in his hypothesis. "Fierce" clearly tried to distract us from the ridiculous plot by flashing cleavage at every opportunity. I'm not here to recap cleavage (couldn't work that into my contract, sadly), so back to the episode.

Kara enters the Miss Sweet Corn Pageant in order to normalize herself in her new surroundings, and, in a leap of faith so wide that even Neo would have a hard time bridging it, falls instantly head over heels for Jimmy Olson. Now, I've nothing against Jimmy, but I'm not sure he's even the kind of guy who girls would notice from across the bar, never mind across the universe. And then I thought, "Oh wait, I get it: it's this week's installment of 'Let's Kick Chloe While She's Down!'"

That's right, folks. Wasn't enough that Chloe's entire life's work and passion was called into question as her less-talented cousin leapfrogged over her at the Daily Planet, but now her love life will be destroyed by a Kryptonian hottie, but only after a few weeks of Jimmy Olsen telling her how much he hates krypto-freaks, which will drive Chloe into a deeper and deeper pit of despair, and oh look, my anger's caused a ridiculously long run-on sentence, excuse me while I hit myself in the face with a brick.

OK, much better now. Thus endeth this week's installment of "Let's Kick Chloe While She's Down."

Chloe, naturally, fared poorly, while Lana Lang, naturally, managed to come out of customs smelling like roses. Clearly, the border patrol did not heed my warning and set up defenses at the border in order to intercept this woman. (Either that, or the boys over at CTU set up a perimeter, a tactic that has not worked in six years of 24 and yet they keep trying it anyways.) Lana's return prompted Clark to state that virtually nothing she could ever do would change his feelings about her, which should make Clark noble but actually turns him into the most whipped man not named Brad Pitt on the planet. As if winning him back that easily wasn't enough, she gets Lex to confess that she's a brilliant criminal mind, so brilliant that she earns his respect. So, essentially, Lana is both the smartest, most desirable, and most beautiful woman on the entire planet, so far as the show's two leads are concerned. At this point, I don't know what she could possibly do to annoy one of these men. She could run over Krypto with a semi-truck, and Clark would simply smile, shake his head, and say, "Well, good ol' Krypto lived a full life anyways. Let's go grab a smoothie!"

The Lex stuff is even more insanely disappointing, because Lex has always been one of the most consistently solid characters in the show. And yet he started to go downhill right around...hrm, can't pinpoint it, oh wait, I know! When he started chasing Lana! She's like kryptonite for awesome! Ugh. The old Lex was bribing scientists and invading Kryptonian caves and being all bad-ass, and now he's so sad about losing Lana that he spends his days in the Luthor study writing sonnets into his Hello Kitty journal.

The only thing keeping him going at this point is Kara, the woman he knows but can't prove to be his savior. Her saving him may not make him change into a "good" person in the traditional sense, but will most likely reinforce his "I'm doing terrible things in order to save the world" mentality from Season 6 and the ill-named Project 33.1. This is a Lex who sees himself as the hero of his own narrative, destined to use his vision, resources, and drive to do what others cannot: save the citizens of Earth from the inevitable alien invasion that will end life on Earth as we know it. That self-conception is inherent in his final question while confronting Kara at episode's end: "Are you a savior, or are you a warning?" He's no longer the self-actualized villain; he's the newly christened champion.

See, THAT'S the Lex I want, people. And that's the mythology I want. Lex's ever-growing sense of purpose, coupled with the Kryptonian S.O.S. planted over one hundred years ago into a Smallville time capsule, is catapulting Smallville into potentially HUGE story potential. In essence, this show might have someone ask, "Who deserves to rule the world?" It's a question asked periodically throughout the show, starting with the initial tension between Clark and Jor-El over Clark's mission on earth. The show has long hinted that Krypton held long-standing interest in Earth, and tonight's revelation of the S.O.S. only reinforces what was learned in the caves during Season 2: there's a clear history between Krypton and Earth, and Clark/Lex/Kara will be at the epicenter of the latest collision between these two worlds.

What do you make of Lana's return to Smallville? Has Lex changed for the better or worse in his motivations? Why did it take Lana six years to discover Clark's powers but six seconds to discover Kara's?

For more TV reviews and analysis, check out Ryan at Boob Tube Dude.

Comments

Very funny comment about running over krypto. Lex needs to get bad ass again. I'm very curious about who the other kryptonian is thats been on earth longer then Clark.

Greg | Oct 11, 2007 8:28:29 PM | #

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I really don't know what to think about the conversation Jimmy and Chloe had at the steps of her apartment. She tried to tell him about the danger of the meteor infected all last year then she unfortunately becomes one of them so she hesitates to tell him about it. I don't know why she doesn't tell anyone be it Clark, Lois or Jimmy they care about her and would probably be supportive. She should stop keeping secrets it never works for anyone in that town.
Clark and Kara remind me of the way he was with Jonathan in high school.He needs to understand that she needs to learn to control her powers in her own way.
I don't understand what they are doing with Lex or Lana's storylines this year.
Clark is too trusting with Lana. Something seems suspicious about her.
Did anyone notice that Lana is suddenly not wearing all black and is back to her bright innocent girl clothes?
I still don't like Grant.
I think Clark and Kara's conversation in the loft about Clark and humanity was the better part of the episode. Maybe his denial of his alien hertitage will begin to recede.
I am probably one of the few people that doesn't have a problem with any character on the show and likes what they are trying to do. I am ready for next weeks episode.

Penny | Oct 11, 2007 9:00:50 PM | #

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Penny--Clark does know that Chloe is infected, he just doesn't know what her power is and I think she has been too scared to even explore that herself, being that she died and all.

Overall, I liked the episode. Lex seems weak now, but it is simply one more step in what will make him the man he becomes. He has now been rejected by everyone he has cared about, save his mother who died. Lionel, Clark, and Lana have all turned on him, which leaves him alone and pushes him closer to the dark side.

I am also enjoying Kara quite a bit so far. I like that she handles her powers far differently than Clark, though I was scared for a second there that she was gonna fess up to Lex.

I love Chloe and did think it was sad that so much bad is headed her way, but I feel there has to be a purpose for it...so I'll let it slide for now.

As for Lana, I am okay with her being there only so far as that it will allow her and Clark to FINALLY discover that their relationship will never work. Though I do loathe her quite a lot.

As for her 'change', it seemed pretty lame to me. She stole $10 million from Lex to disappear and she is afraid Clark will find out? After all Lex did, he's lucky that's all she did.

Travis | Oct 11, 2007 10:15:44 PM | #

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Travis, thanks for answering one of my questions.

Penny | Oct 11, 2007 10:21:49 PM | #

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Ryan,

Lex has been chasing Lana - off and on - since season 1.

I put the over/under for next week's installment of "Kicking Chloe" prior to the 2nd commercial break.

Rishi | Oct 12, 2007 12:48:54 AM | #

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Seriously, why wasn't Lana's plane shot down over a vast, empty ocean? She completely makes Clark and Lex look pathethic shadows of the characters they once were before she got her claws into them. All I'm saying, is Lex had better be playing this inspid little twit. As to Kara's secret? She's The Lana. She must know everything, and everyone must love her. And Clark? *sighs* You once were a great, and beautiful superhero, Clarkie. Then Lana got her claws into you, only once you escape her you'll be so mindfrakked, you'll settle for Lois Lane. Sorry, dude. Unless, this whole season is a whacky, whacky dream of course, and Lana is really the Stepford wannabe wife from hell, you lose.

What a pity she had to come back. I absolutely loved Clark in eps 1 & 2. And now we're back to the same old castrated-Clark.

Also, yes, another installment of "kicking Chloe when she's down". Never let it be said that this show ever, ever shows appreciation for anyone else if they're not Lana, or Reporter!Extraordinaire Lois Lane, who just so gosh darn amazing? We actually don't have to see her working on articles because, as you know, she's dark haired, apparently beautiful and has the initials "LL" and therefore will be propped up while they beat Chloe down. Thankfully two eps without having to endure her grating presence, so I'll take what I can get if the alternative is having to endure a double dose of irritating with Lana and Lois.

And Jimmy? Why the frak is this horrible relationship with Chloe still going on? Oh no, wait. It's a new installment of The Beat Chloe Down Show. Right, another hottie to beat her down for. *rolls eyes* The sooner Chloe and Jimmy end, the better.

Liv | Oct 12, 2007 4:57:25 AM | #

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I'll get the "I love you for not caring what people think and saying how you really feel" comment out of the way first, so I can hit on everything else :)

Lois gets into The DP last week and this week it's all about Chloe getting a frontpage byline? Ha. Awesome.

"Kara doesn't even watch America's Next Top Model, opting instead to watch Project: Runway."

That WAS pretty lame that they didn't even pimp their OWN SHOW.

I love that Chloe names groups of people with super powers like a good reporter.

"Now, I've nothing against Jimmy, but I'm not sure he's even the kind of guy who girls would notice from across the bar, never mind across the universe."

That's EXACTLY why I've had issues with Chloe being so head over heels in love with him.
But, I think it's supposed to be the "Jimmy represents normalcy and Earth to her" type of thing like Clark and Lana (which ugh, needs to end...BADLY).

"Oh wait, I get it: it's this week's installment of 'Let's Kick Chloe While She's Down!'"

As long as they reward her in the end and make it worth my while, I'm okay with it.
Underdogs always triumph at the end, so I fully expect good things to come for Chloe.

"Lana's return prompted Clark to state that virtually nothing she could ever do would change his feelings about her, which should make Clark noble but actually turns him into the most whipped man not named Brad Pitt on the planet."

Ha! Yes!
I'm hoping that Lana does some TERRIBLE things that make Clark wake up and see the reality that IS EvilLana. I think it was foreshadowing that.

"As if winning him back that easily wasn't enough, she gets Lex to confess that she's a brilliant criminal mind, so brilliant that she earns his respect."

I think Lex is playing her; that he's setting her up for something, luring her into a false sense of security. I really don't want S7Lex to disappoint me with getting back at the ex who screwed him. If he did, S3Lex would seriously kick his butt for that because THAT boy knew who to take care of Helen.

I really liked the Kara/Lex scene because I sense that he KNOWS about Clark and thus, knows about Kara.
I like the idea that Lex thinks they are the start of an alien invasion because that is SO Lex Luthor, especially, from Birthright. That's the Lex I want to see, so that was great for me.

Another great review, my friend!

Rebecca | Oct 12, 2007 5:28:22 AM | #

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WTF moments abound in this episode.

1)Where was the conversation where Clark asked Lana where she's been, what crime she committed, what was it exactly that Lex did to her, how did her DNA get into that Jeep, is she still married to Lex, and a host of other questions Clark should have been asking instead of blindly accepting her back? Don't tell Chloe she's alive and back, but let's walk hand in hand out in public where everyone can see us, ok?

2) Lois, Lois Lane (the General's daughter) was hired at the Daily Planet with no credentials, no resume, no serious journalistic background.. and this week she's on assignment?? In New York? Writing some type of piece on Rwanda?

Don't even get me started on the demoralization, deconstruction, and demeaning of Chloe, the only character on this show that makes it possible for me to tune in every week.

Thanks for the great review!

Gen | Oct 12, 2007 7:14:11 AM | #

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LOL at your comment:

Lana's return prompted Clark to state that virtually nothing she could ever do would change his feelings about her, which should make Clark noble but actually turns him into the most whipped man not named Brad Pitt on the planet.

I practically spit out my coffee. Thanks for the humor and TGIF.

alia | Oct 12, 2007 8:04:16 AM | #

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Gen- I think Lana told Clark about most of this during a break. She approaches him in the barn, and then the next scene is in the kitchen with them sitting down and talking. I think they just didn't show her explain everything since it could be tedious to regular viewers.

Travis | Oct 12, 2007 8:08:19 AM | #

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Another great review, Ryan. Yours is one of the best TV blogs that I have read on any website.

First, the good stuff:
1) NO LOIS! She was on assignment in New York, so whatever it takes to minimize her screen time is fine with me.

2) Chloe was her usual self--
smart, helpful and supportive. She looked beautiful and CLASSY in all of her outfits. She didn't need to walk around in a skimpy bikini for us to notice her.

Now, the BAD stuff:

1) We're back to everyone worshipping Lana again. Clark just happily accepts her non-death, without questioning what her terrible crime was. Lana seemed way too nice, so I'm hoping that she's secretly evil.

2) Both Clark and Lex were wimps, being controlled by Lana's love or something (**BLECH!**). Lex actually complimented Lana on being smart because she stole $10 million from his account. No, I think Lex should have called her GREEDY (surely, Lana could have lived on $1 million when she was on the run). Also, the DA and the police dropped all the charges against Lana, thanks to Lex.

3) Kara is now lusting after Jimmy, who just happens to be Chloe's boyfriend. I still like Kara a lot (Laura is a good actress), but does she have to be involved in a stupid love triangle?

Paige | Oct 12, 2007 8:35:12 AM | #

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The village people reference and neener neener killed me. Having a break from the grating one was a wonderful thing.

I'll check in next week. You've pulled me in.

ms. curious | Oct 12, 2007 9:03:43 AM | #

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Very nice review. I was iffy on watching this episode because of Lana but there's no Lois so I'm torn. Then again I can always fast forward straight through the Lana scenes. For my health.

I don't know why I think the show is ever going to have Clark or somebody call Lana on her actions. It never will.

Liz | Oct 12, 2007 9:27:42 AM | #

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You are my new hero.

DC | Oct 12, 2007 9:31:39 AM | #

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Well, it wasn't the best episode, but they do give get extra points for Kara in the bikini. Actually they get extra points for Clark's reaction to Kara in the bikini. Also, I'd rather have lois in the flag bikini than suddenly super reporter at the DP. Villains in this episode did suck, worse than the freak of the week villains of season 1 and 2.

Also lets be honest with all the lies Clark has told to Lana over the years, can you really blame him for not going all judgemental on Lana. Also, why should Lana be afraid to tell Clark she took $10 million from Lex. She was going to go into hiding and not return. Its not like that Smallville High Degree is going to bring in the big bucks.

I understand why Jimmy might look at Kara, (especially in the bikini) but why would Kara get heat-vision hot for Jimmy???

Does Lex still own the Talon, I thought he sold it a few years ago?

jbw | Oct 12, 2007 9:47:53 AM | #

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JBW: He still owns the Talon, I suppose, which is weird. It's like Bill Gates holding onto to a single Krispy Kreme franchise he bought in the late 70's and still being intimately involved with the day-to-day business there.

Ryan | Oct 12, 2007 10:20:37 AM | #

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It's been obvious from the beginning that Lana and Clark do not have a relationship that will ever work owing to the fact that she is a reprehensible, self-centered, manipulative witch who thinks she deserves to be the center of the universe and to know all things and cares nothing for anyone else. She is as nasty on Smallville as she is in the comics and as such, should never have been made the center of the Smallville universe. Lana and Clark have nothing in common and are boring as can be. We didn't need six-plus seasons to figure this out and Clark, with the superior Kryptonian intellect (not!) shouldn't either.

It was apalling to hear Clark give Lana a pass on every horrible thing she's done, including her nasty remarks to him and her running off to sleep with his enemy. How can he forgive this little tramp for that? That makes the future Superman not only an adulturer from last season but a guy who has absolutely no self-respect whatsoever. If he had a lick of self respect he'd throw Lana out the door. He should certainly ask a lot of questions instead of being such a moron that he lets Lana get away with, literally, murder and attempted murder.

Lana says she's done bad things snd he's okay with it? His only faint glimmer of being awake in that big empty head of his is when he whines that she didn't trust him enough to let him know she wasn't dead. Then he swallows her claim that she was protecting him like an idiot and furthermore, agrees to let Chloe suffer as he had because that's the way Lanacakes wants it. She doesn't want to have to answer for her crimes so let's just keep it a secret, Clark! Plus, his remarks that he isn't used to being the one who needs protecting, flies in the face of all those years his parents watched over him as he did one foolish thing after another not to mention that Chloe has been saving him for years, too. Clark came across as an ungrateful idiot.

Then, later on, Clark and Lana are wandering all over the midway at the Sweet Corn Festival and we are left wondering if she's clear now, if Chloe knows now and we just didn't get to see it or what. And I nearly puked to listent LEX LUTHOR worship Lana's brilliant embezzeling skills. Whay is Lana staying at the farmhouse if she has ten million dollars stollen stashed away somewhere?

The Weather girls were awful and this episode was so badly cut it made no sense to me and I knew from spoilers some of what was going to happen. Someone should be taken to task for that awful editing job. No doubt they cut out all relevant info so we could have more nauseating Clana.

Tom Welling was great as the big brother figure who was embarrassed to see Kara in a bikini; he has great comedic potential that is forever untapped by Smallville, usually in favor of more revolting Clana.

Other than that small thing, it was indeed more Kick Chloe and while we're at it, lets have her boyfriend dump her for Kara, too. Because no matter what Chloe does for everyone around her, including, and most especially for the Big Dumb Kryptonian Doofus, it's never good enough and she never gets the gratitude and respect she deserves.

I'd rate Fierce as one of the worst eps in the entire series, though nothing will ever surpass Promise for that ultimate spot of disgust.

Margroks | Oct 12, 2007 10:34:09 AM | #

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I agree with everything MARGROKS posted. I didn't care about the Weather Girls, Jimmy, Kryptonian symbols, etc. because all I could hear was "Lana is forgiven for every crime, thank the gods she's alive!"

If Lana is so smart, then why didn't she know that Lex was evil BEFORE she married him (Chloe has known for years)? Oh, yeah that's right. Lana was blinded by the size of Lex's bank account!

Lex said that he forgave Lana for framing him because he wants to turn his life around. Okay, the why did the writers make him so nasty to Chloe last week? I guess Chloe doesn't deserve to be treated nicely (SARCASM!).

Sandi | Oct 12, 2007 11:18:15 AM | #

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I guess I understand that they want to include the thing between Jimmy and Kara since his crush was an old comic book story years ago with the original Supergirl in the comics. One thing I don't understand about it is that he goes from one character's cousin to another.

Despite the stange characterizations in recent years I do see some glimses of the characters they will someday become. Yes, that includes Clark.

Bryan, even though I don't always agree with your opinion I am glad you are writing here since this is the only place that I can state my opinion on the show since nobody I live with seems to care about what I have to say about it.

Penny | Oct 12, 2007 12:17:14 PM | #

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| Oct 12, 2007 12:18:48 PM | #

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HAHAHA... This was a great review.. You Had me laughing almost every paragraph..

I cant wait for Chloe and Jimmy to break up.. I never thought he was right for her.. As for Clark and Lana, Blah.. Thats all I have to say about that..

Chloe is going to get kicked around, intill it's her turn to start kicking butt!!!!

YIPPEEEEEEE that lois wasn't in this episode..

Christina | Oct 12, 2007 12:28:00 PM | #

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writing sonnets into his Hello Kitty journal...that's funny! and for those of you familiar with Superman lore, doesn't it irk you that Chloe, whom I love, is actually playing the role that Lana was originally written as in the comics? Just a thought...

meg | Oct 12, 2007 2:35:03 PM | #

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I'd like to correct Sandi on one thing-- Lana was NOT seduced by Lex's bank account; he used his scientific connections to trick her into thinking she was pregnant with his baby, and being the "good girl" that everyone thought she was, she believed marrying her child's father was the "right" thing to do. Right up until the ceremony she was ready to call it off until Lionel threatened to hurt Clark-- that was her motivation to go through with it. I'm not a member of the Lana Lang Fan Club, but I don't think it's fair to bash her and claim she only married Lex for his money if you don't know all the facts.
On another note, what's with the "Kara Kent" stuff? In the Superman history, when Kara/ Supergirl wanted to blend in, she still said she was Clark's cousin, but she called herself "Linda Lee" to keep up the whole LL character name plot point in the series. Why'd they drop it?
Ryan forgot to mention one last jab. Considering that one of the Weather Girls was ANTM winner Eva Pigford, a mention of the show would have been a great inside joke; I laughed so hard in Season 5 when James "Spike" Marsters (Brainiac) said to Clark in "Thirst" that there's no such thing as vampires. Classic!

K | Oct 12, 2007 7:37:02 PM | #

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I think Chloe will be rewarded with the "Lana is alive" story. I think that will be the payoff to the let's kick Chloe storyline.

Rishi | Oct 12, 2007 7:57:22 PM | #

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Yes, I know that Lex tricked Lana into believing that she was pregnant with his baby. That is why she accepted his marriage proposal. I'm talking about why Lana decided to start dating Lex in the first place. Lana decided to have sex with Lex of her own free will, without Lionel or anyone else threatening to hurt Clark first. Supposedly, Lana was still in love with Clark at that point, so I guess it was the Smallville writers that had to come up with some lame storyline to get Lex and Lana together. My guess is so that Clark would have another reason to hate Lex, who was his former best friend.

Sandi | Oct 15, 2007 7:54:04 AM | #

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I really like your review! I can't wait to read the next one.

I hope Chloe will be rewarded with the "Lana is alive" story.

Lilisullivan | Oct 15, 2007 8:51:14 AM | #

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I love Smallville so much and would be upsad if Lana and Clark don't end up together. This couple has been thru so many rejections and hurts. Please we want Lana........

Sharon R | Jul 26, 2008 12:41:45 AM | #

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