'Kitchen Nightmares': Wait... I've eaten there!

Tonight we were in Tuckahoe, NY, not too far from my hometown. And, more amazingly, we're at The Olde Stone Mill. Now, I can't be too clear on this: I have eaten at this restaurant. Again: I have eaten at this restaurant. Once more: I have eaten at this restaurant.

I'm both happy and sad at this turn of events. I'm happy because it makes me feel that much closer to being famous (like sitting in a movie theater and getting to chat with a former teen actor before the picture begins). I'm sad though because having eaten there, my main joy in Kitchen Nightmares, seeing a disgusting and horrifically dirty kitchen, is ruined. I would rather not know that I'd shared a meal with rodents or been served a moldy tomato. To this second point, thank goodness the dirty kitchen scene was absent from this episode. I'm going to say that means that the kitchen was absolutely spotless.

At his first meal at the restaurant Gordon picked on the chopped salad due to it's shape. It was conical. I really don't know why that's so horrible. I can't vouch for the taste of the salad, but I don't quite see why the shape was horrific. Gordon even went so far as to melt the funnels later in the show. Mike claimed the point was that the salad could be simple and didn't have to be overdone and fancy, but the vehemence Gordon displayed still surprised me. I don't remember what I ordered when I went to the restaurant, there may have been a chopped salad (I'm a fan), but I do know that I went with much of my immediate family. So, hi Grandma Ruth (sorry Grandpa Joe, you were out of town)!

Seriously though, here's my main question watching this episode: why should Mike, the chef, have to do everything in the kitchen? I saw another person in the kitchen who happened to be wearing a white coat. Actually it looked like an entire cook's outfit (and there may have even been a third guy too). Why was Mike doing everything? The show never made that clear. Perhaps the cook-looking person just did little bits and pieces, odds and ends if you will, he certainly didn't seem to be touching a pot or pan in the kitchen. Maybe he was the salad guy.

Gordon made a big deal tonight about not being able to find the restaurant, there being no big sign out front that would let people know it was there. As I recall, there was some sort of sign, but it was very much a "blink and you miss it" kind of thing, by no means a nice large blinky neon thing. You were never quite sure that you were at the right place until you had passed it. Gordon did fix that problem, but sadly the sign he put up was tasteful, not the large blinky neon thing I was hoping for.

Speaking of making things readily apparent, the show made it obvious from the start that much of the problem at the restaurant was Dean, the owner. He was scared of failure and was hemorrhaging money. It was stated early on tonight that Dean and his wife Barbara, were in a huge hole with the place. When the figure was revealed, I was astounded -- they owed $500,000. That is a lot of money. A lot of money. To be precise it's round about a half million dollars, give or take. I wonder if Gordon could possibly just give them some cash. Surely he or the producers have that kind of money lying about.

Dean's main problem though seemed to be his attitude. He claimed repeatedly to have put everything he has into the place, and yet, according to Gordon, had neglected the menu completely. Once Gordon came up with his menu changes (Gordon wanted to make the place a steakhouse), Dean complained bitterly. He said that he didn't have the money to change directions. How did Dean not realize that by continuing on the path he was on he would certainly have to shutter the place. Plus, and correct me if I'm wrong, surely the show pays for a lot of the changes, don't they?

I think Dean may have been too much of a hot-head to be running a restaurant. I can't imagine that it was Chef Mike's fault that during the relaunch his computer and/or printer didn't work and that consequently he wasn't getting all the tickets for orders. The voiceover did say that during this same service Dean helped get things back on track, but the shots we saw didn't give that impression (we only saw the cursing). Magically, somehow, Dean got better. That bit of storytelling just doesn't work for me. Not without Gordon sprinkling some pixie dust. Even so, the restaurant seemed to be working out just fine by the end of the episode and the steaks looked pretty good.

Grandma (and Grandpa), if you're reading this, I'd love to check out the updated place when I'm back in town. I do like a good salad, and the way Gordon updated the funnel salad (de-funneling it) did make it look delicious.

Some random thoughts and quotes from tonight:

• Jeanie the hostess had this to say about the chef's ostentatious presentation of the food -- "Mike tries to presentate the food real nice."
• There was no shot of a half-naked Gordon tonight (the first time in the last three shows).
• In the next episode the show leaves NY and goes to Hollywood.

Grandma, and whomever else may be reading this, have you checked out The TV and Film Guy's Reviews, because you really should.

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