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Tyra saves the world on 'America's Next Top Model'
This week on Top Model, Tyra takes a stand against all that is wrong with the world, and vows to right those wrongs using the medium of reality television. Just when I thought I couldn't love this show any more, she kicks things up a notch. Tyra's my hero, you guys.
Spoilers and awesomeness ahead...
The girls start their first day by meeting Orange Jay, whose hair is distinctly whiter than usual. I think the cooler silvery color really brings out the orange in his skin. He brings them out to their new biodiesel limo/bus. It's awesome, and may actually begin to make up for the horrifyingly gas-guzzling transportation used in previous cycles. Go, Tyra!!! They drive to their new pad, which is also green-themed. Plants everywhere and tips for being eco-friendly scattered about, though I wonder if it's truly eco-friendly like the "witch" bus. Alternative energy? Composting? Low-flow showerheads? Green roof? I kind of doubt it, but that would be pretty sweet. And guess what?! The difference-making isn't done yet! Later, at the end of panel, Tyra announces that this is a non-smoking cycle, because Top Model is Taking. A. Stand. Two stands in one episode? Best cycle ever! I can't wait to watch Jenah (who smokes) try and quit in a situation this stressful...I just wish I knew who else smoked. There's gonna be drama for sure, guys.
Okay, time to gossip about the girls. Heather, who has Aspergers, spends a lot of time on her own. And staring into space. Aww. She gives the others a little lecture on Aspergers, but they still don't seem to be taking to her, though they do seem to pity her a bit. Interestingly, they keep coming up with reasons why Heather's disability will make the competition really difficult for her. Threatened, much? Victoria, who is awesome, is bothered by the other girls talking about Heather behind her back (not that she does anything to stop it). Kimberly, in particular, is pretty mean. Nuts. I kind of liked her. Now that Heather is a top contender, I wonder if they'll be treating her any differently.
Now, I know Ebony is getting the witch label, but I have to say, I think Bianca is worse. I mean, at least Ebony owns it! Bianca is, like, stealth-witch. Lisa and Bianca snipe back and forth at each other a lot at the photo shoot. Now, I know Lisa's more mature, so I don't know why she's even bothering getting into it with that witch. Bianca actually makes her cry when she says that the next Top Model won't be an exotic dancer. Orange Jay has to come in to tell them to get their act together and quit fighting, and then they make nice back at the pool. ...Or do they?! Bianca totally admits in an interview that she only apologized because she didn't want it to come up at panel. Worst. Ever!
Alright, time to talk photo shoot. The first shoot's theme is...(drumroll please)...anti-smoking! Aww, you guys, Top Model is being all adorably responsible this season! Can next week's theme be about the dangers of eating disorders? And then make the next one about how throwing phones at people is bad for your career? It's a double-shoot, with each contestant shooting one glam photo lighting up a cigarette, and one darker photo, which will be shown as a reflection in the mirror, of the side effects or end results of smoking. And, as you might have guessed, this is one of the Most Controversial Shoots Ever. If they keep topping themselves like this, they're going to have to have the girls strangle puppies or something just to get the controversial label.
Ambreal's photo depicts lung cancer, in the form of her coughing up blood. It's pretty gross. The judges see a great model in her photos, but less so in person. Jenah is portraying baldness from chemotherapy. Oh, and she's a smoker, but she claims to have quit after the shoot. Nice touch, Jenah! I bet you thought you'd get some happy tears from Tyra for that one. Little did you know, Tyra'd be making you quit anyway! The judges really like her photos, but give her a few posing tips. Privately, they think she's already getting a bit boring. Mila, who is possibly the most cheerful person I've ever seen, is also doing chemo hair loss, but can't stop laughing how crazy her patchy hair looks. Um, yeah. Not great. She gets some criticism for her posing and gets tagged with the dreaded Dead Eye label. Uh oh.
Janet is a burn victim with makeup that looks completely painted-on. The judges love her photo, but I'm not really feelin' it. And Twiggy doesn't think she looks like a model. Probably because of the semi-mullet. I'm with ya, Twiggy. Chantal has the throat hole thing. URGH. The judges like her photos, but think her eyes were a bit too "bedroom." I think she looks pretty hot. In the one without the throat hole, obvs. Heather and Saleisha are together depicting the effects of second-hand smoke. Quite the astonishing coincidence that the girl with a social disorder gets put in a photo with another girl on her first shoot, eh? Heather has a tough time interacting with Saleisha, but the judges love their photos.
Kimberly is doing "sunken face," which...okay. Is that even a real thing, or just an excuse for crazy makeup? The judges think she's a bit too hoochie, but love her "tragic" shot. What could be more tragic than "sunken face," after all? I have to say, the judges seem to be grading on a bit of a curve this week. They're usually so harsh, especially on the first few shoots, and now they're giving the mildest criticism ever, combined with effusive praise. Is this the kinder, gentler Top Model? At any rate, Sarah is doing premature aging, and her makeup is hysterical. She looks a little like Melrose, as a matter of fact. The judges love her photos. Victoria is portraying a smoker who has given birth to a stillborn child. Yikes. The judges love her photos, but say she needs to work on her people skills a bit. Never change, Victoria! Never change!
Ebony doesn't quite rock the shoot--she's depicting a collapsed lung. The judges think her posing is stiff, but like her reflection shot. Which barely even shows her face, or anything but props, but whatever. Nigel thinks she's the most beautiful girl there. Oh, Nigel. So horny and thus untrustworthy when it comes to judging potential models. Bianca has "severe gingivitis," and they put some kind of scary British/hillbilly teeth in her. YUCK. The judges think she's too posey and has the Dead Eye, and they love her reflection photo, which looks totally freaking absurd to me. Lisa is working with a "face tumor," which is just gross. The judges think her photos are great, though, and they are right. They looove her, and are right about that, too. Yay, Lisa!
Before judging, the girls get a quick styling challenge/Old Navy Commercial. They're instructed by Miss Jay to head over to Old Navy (which is full of great basics!) to pick out an outfit to wear to panel that fits their personal style, but makes them look like a model. And they only have ten minutes, of course, because what's Top Model without a gaggle of girls running all over a store in various states of undress while totally trashing the place? Benny Ninja, the flamiest posing instructor in all the land, meets them there to pimp Old Navy and yell stuff at them as they frantically shop. He tells them to not be boring, but that seems like some sort of sneaky trap, since Miss Jay said to keep things clean and simple. At panel, judges mostly complain about too many accessories. Victoria gets props, but Saleisha wins the $1,000 Old Navy shopping spree, as well the chance to do an ad for Old Navy.
And finally, the moment of truth at panel. Heather gets called first! Take that, witches. Lisa (yay!), Chantal, Sarah, Jenah, Saleisha, Ambreal, Victoria (yay!), Janet, Kimberly, and Bianca (boo) are all also in. Ebony is totally already crying, but it's cheerful optimist Mila who's out, still smiling, of course. Fair enough, I guess...her photos weren't great, and she doesn't bring the drama that Ebony brings. (Also, Nigel's totally right. The chick is gorgeous.) Still, it would've been nice to have had a sunny person like Mila around the house. Either that, or it would have gotten old in, like, five minutes.
In other news, Jaslene's "My Life as a Covergirl" was extremely uneventful. Um, the Teen Choice Awards? Lame! Does anyone remember when these were good, or is it just my imagination? Lisa, for her part, is the Covergirl of the Week. Well done, America. Well done.
See This Week's Photo Shoot Gallery
Who were your favorites this week? Do you think Mila deserved to go home?
For more TV recaps and commentary, visit Liz at Glowy Box.
Is it just me, or does Ebony always look like she has a 5 o'clock shadow?
Next week I'm watching for manhands...
Nerbil | Sep 27, 2007 3:15:22 AM | #I sort of like all the girls, though ALL are way too young for me. I liked Mila. Unfortunately, they didn't like her pictures. I liked Ebony not so much. And Bianca even less, the least in fact, mainly because of her "in your face" attitude. Of interest is the bobble head routine when she talks, which gets really extreme when she displays an attitude. Tyra is still the babe though. I really, really dislike Miss J; such a full blown stereotype if I ever saw one. And of course, all but one of the new girls need to gain a few pounds, and the one who looks decent to me is not what I would call "plus" size... or is it just me?
Jaslene's commercial was horrible and boring. She did not look happy or carefree. Plus since when are all of the pictures in the house of the winner from the last cycle? Maybe include all of the last models or all past winners. Of course I never liked the girl anyway.
I was happy Mila was sent home--she didn't do anything for me. It was Heather's only friend though.
Bo | Sep 27, 2007 4:41:44 AM | #Is it just me, or did Twiggy get b***cher and the rest of panel take it down a notch? She totally snapped on Victoria and didn;t seem to warm to any of the girls and the other judges were way to cheery. They usually try and knock the girls down a few pegs in the first week, you know, to prove how difficult modeling is and how not just anyone can do it.
Oh and I can tell that Victoria and Heather will be quick favs of mine, as I love their classic looks, but Salesha is also a front runner, she is just so beautiful!
I think the last time there was a decent Covergirl/Top Model ad was with Eva. It didn't sound as read or rehearsed as the winners in the past. Jaslene was just yelling at the camera. Not good.
Cherie | Sep 27, 2007 7:24:13 AM | #I liked Mila's cheerful attitude and felt bad that Heather is losing one of her two friends(Victoria seems sympathetic), but she didn't do it as a model for me. I can't stand Bianca - she is the ultimate witch! After the first episode, I thought Ebony was going to be the witch, but it seemed to really affect her that the girls didn't like her and she really seems to be trying to be nicer. Bianca has already faught with Ebony, Lisa and next week it looks like Saleisha - what gives?
I think the girls are not being too understanding of Heather. It's actually amazing that she is doing this program and allowing herself to be thrown into a house full of strangers with this disorder. I think she's doing really well, plus, she does seem to be very photogenic. I don't think she will win though as they always talk about how worldly the models must be.
My favorites so far are Lisa, Saleisha, Victoria (I don't think she's beautiful, but I just like her), and Heather. I like Ambreal too, I don't know why she doesn't "seem like a model in person". It's so random.
Sue | Sep 27, 2007 8:43:42 AM | #Oh yeah, I also think Ebony's beautiful, but that poster is right about the odd shade that reflects off of her face. It is like a dull 5-o'clock shadow.
Sue | Sep 27, 2007 8:45:58 AM | #Mila was too Disney Princess for me. I think they sent the right girl home. Her overly cute look and her LAUGHING about hair loss from chemotherapy—girl doesn't get it.
Jaslene was my favorite last season, I was so happy she won. But she looks like she's lost weight, and she did not need to. I hope she's okay, she seems like a good kid.
Ebony is very beautiful, and I think she could go far. I think her appearance in the Bottom Two was a deliberate choice made by the panel to give her a jolt and make her step up her game. She could win the whole thing.
Siansonea | Sep 27, 2007 10:09:15 AM | #@ Sue- The "you don't seem like a model in person" criticism, much like the "you don't have enough personality" criticism (or the related "you used to have personality and now you don't"), seem arbitrary enough to be designed to let the judges cut girls who don't make for good TV, or whom they don't like for some reason or another. At least, that's what I've always thought.
Liz | Sep 27, 2007 10:10:40 AM | #I love Heather and I love Ebony. And I love this blogger, so funny!!
Cam | Sep 27, 2007 10:45:06 AM | #As a fellow Aspie, go Heather!
Tyler | Sep 27, 2007 11:01:18 AM | #1000 bucks at old navy? Doesn't that pretty much buy the whole store, dog chew toys included?
Wael | Sep 27, 2007 11:12:22 AM | #Some of the challenges these models do are hard!
I've watched every cycle of antm and I just love Tyra she is the best And I Picked Whitley from the begining and I was so happy when she really became America's Next Top Model Congradulations!!!
Ms.Tia | Jun 12, 2008 6:37:38 AM | #
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