'Big Brother 13': Cassi or Shelly, who goes home? And who is the new HOH?

There isn't much suspense going into the second "Big Brother 13" elimination - we all know Cassi is going home. But the big deal is the next Head of Household competition. It's an important one.

Following the POV ceremony, Rachel smarms to the camera in the Diary Room that she always gets her way. Oooh, I'd like to slap that smirk right off her face.

Jordan totally pussed out on that one, gang. She claims her alliance wants Cassi out, like her alliance is SO big. It's two on two and if you backdoor Brenchel, it's two on one! You could've made a move, Jordan.

Cassi says she won't campaign against Shelly and she doesn't, she's so classy. Meanwhile, Jordan cries in the HOH room and Jeff says he feels bad too. You shouldn't have put them up, dummies! You should've turned on crazy-ass Rachel.

THUNDERDOME

So Cassi asks to talk to Rachel and now we get the infamous Rachel-Cassi smackdown that actually happened pre-POV ceremony. Cassi starts off nice and civil, but crazy Rachel says "plenty of people" have told her Cassi is coming after the Vets. "Plenty," like there are 50 people in the house.

Cassi rightly calls Rachel out on sending her out of the house because she's female (the "and prettier than you" and "someone you can't control" are left unsaid) and because it hits too close to home, Rachel flips her s***. Cassi calls her catty and ugly inside and Rachel flips out, starts bawling to Jordan in the HOH room. Rachel's crocodile tears are pretty hard to believe. PLUS - Rachel didnt' like that Cassi wasn't sure they could trust the Veterans and (as Cassi says) Cassi was just being honest! Rachel doesn't even know what to say so she just barfs out anything that comes to her.

"I'm not a villain, I'm not a mean girl," boo friggin' hoo. SHUT UP, RACHEL. Seriously, she is being so gross this season. And then Brendon gets in on it, acting like a total douche and being condescending in a really ugly way. Ugh, those two.

I'll say it again - I hope Cassi comes back this season.

The Elimination

There's some stupid filler with hometowns and Jordan's HOH talk. But it's dumb, let's get on with the vote. It's unanimous - Cassi's out. She's so sweet in her exit interview and her goodbye messages are very nice - except for Rachel. Cassi's game play was fine. It wasn't stellar, but it wasn't awful. Rachel is just grasping at straws.

Head of Household Competition

"Big Brother Online" is the competition - viewers got to answer questions and the houseguests have to guess how America answered. Jordan, Daniele, Porsche and Shelly are not competing, remember.

Question 1: Which houseguest would they rather get mouth-to-mouth from, Jeff or Brendon? It's gotta be Jeff. And it is. And hilariously, everyone answers correctly!

Question 2: Most likely to pee in the pool, Adam or Kalia? Adam, and it's unanimous.

Question 3: Most likely to steal someone's lover, Rachel or Porsche? Oooh. I say America said Porsche, which is right, but Kalia is out.

Question 4: Most likely to save someone form a burning building, Shelly or Brendon? I say Shelly. The answer is Brendon and only Jeff misses. Huh. I think America misinterpreted that to mean who is more physically equipped to do it.

Question 5: Rather see in a bikini all summer, Daniele or Porsche? I say Porsche, but it's Daniele and that leaves ONLY Rachel adn Brendon in the competition. Good lord.

Question 6: Rather cheat off of in a test, Jordan or Lawon? Jordan is the answer. Huh. They both stay.

Question 7: Seriously go bananas, Adam or Dominic? Answer is Adam and Rachel is HOH AGAIN.

KILL ME NOW. Are you SERIOUS?!

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