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'Skating With the Stars Week 4: Brandon Mychal Smith, we hardly knew you
The tension and awkwardness is mounting over at "Skating With the Stars," with last week's absentee competitor officially succumbing to illness and a beloved underdog really butting heads with the apparently irritable Johnny Weir.
But that's what you wanted, isn't it, America -- some drama chilled to 32 degrees Fahrenheit?*
We barely even know how to write about this show anymore, it's gone so far off the tracks, but we're obviously still willing to try. So let's just plow through this sucker, chronological-like:
The Brandon Mychal Smith situation
After bailing on last week's episode with some undiagnosed illness that resulted in pixelated vomit, Smith was a no-go for a second week in a row, gracefully bowing out of the competition. He must feel awful, though, because he couldn't even stand up during the announcement -- not to mention the fact that "SWTS" is certainly a better platform for him than the recently Sonny-less "Sonny With a Chance."
He took off immediately after the show, but his sweet and patient partner Keauna McLaughlin filled us in on why him staying just wasn't in the cards. "We took three days off and we tried to practice, but we kept having to stop," she says. "He kept getting dizzy, he lost a lot of weight, he looked pale -- I don't know if that's possible, but he looked pale. He was getting weaker by the minute, and he wasn't getting any better, so I kind of came to accept that this might not happen. I can't force him to do something he doesn't want to do."
McLaughlin expects to be back next week for some sort of group number.
Bethenny Frankel and Ethan Burgess (38 out of 60)
Still raking in such meager scores one week away from the finale, it's clearly that Frankel is skating by (PUN!) on her fan base -- not that we mind. Frankel clearly wins in the personality department, so its hard to not take judge Johnny Weir's excessively catty criticism seriously. Keep on truckin', Bethenny.
Jonny Moseley and Brooke Castile (54)
Though we would never want to be party to their rehearsals, at least they get all of the blood and spills out of the way before they get out in front of a live audience. Moseley solidified his standing as the most intimidating competitor in week 4, with the night's highest scores and some mighty fine lifts.
Rebecca Budig and Fred Palascak (53)
Watch your back, Budig. You may look like a natural on those skates, but the judges are increasingly keen on Mr. Moseley. She's got the skills, but the judges seem to be asking for a bit more personality... and something to do with her butt.
So, with one episode left, who do you think is going to take home the magical... ice trophy? Are you even watching? Be honest.
*An original version of this article improperly addressed water's freezing point as 32 degrees Celsius, when we clearly intended to write Fahrenheit. Celsius, while fancy and British, is quite hot.
But that's what you wanted, isn't it, America -- some drama chilled to 32 degrees Fahrenheit?*
We barely even know how to write about this show anymore, it's gone so far off the tracks, but we're obviously still willing to try. So let's just plow through this sucker, chronological-like:
The Brandon Mychal Smith situation
After bailing on last week's episode with some undiagnosed illness that resulted in pixelated vomit, Smith was a no-go for a second week in a row, gracefully bowing out of the competition. He must feel awful, though, because he couldn't even stand up during the announcement -- not to mention the fact that "SWTS" is certainly a better platform for him than the recently Sonny-less "Sonny With a Chance."
He took off immediately after the show, but his sweet and patient partner Keauna McLaughlin filled us in on why him staying just wasn't in the cards. "We took three days off and we tried to practice, but we kept having to stop," she says. "He kept getting dizzy, he lost a lot of weight, he looked pale -- I don't know if that's possible, but he looked pale. He was getting weaker by the minute, and he wasn't getting any better, so I kind of came to accept that this might not happen. I can't force him to do something he doesn't want to do."
McLaughlin expects to be back next week for some sort of group number.
Bethenny Frankel and Ethan Burgess (38 out of 60)
Still raking in such meager scores one week away from the finale, it's clearly that Frankel is skating by (PUN!) on her fan base -- not that we mind. Frankel clearly wins in the personality department, so its hard to not take judge Johnny Weir's excessively catty criticism seriously. Keep on truckin', Bethenny.
Jonny Moseley and Brooke Castile (54)
Though we would never want to be party to their rehearsals, at least they get all of the blood and spills out of the way before they get out in front of a live audience. Moseley solidified his standing as the most intimidating competitor in week 4, with the night's highest scores and some mighty fine lifts.
Rebecca Budig and Fred Palascak (53)
Watch your back, Budig. You may look like a natural on those skates, but the judges are increasingly keen on Mr. Moseley. She's got the skills, but the judges seem to be asking for a bit more personality... and something to do with her butt.
So, with one episode left, who do you think is going to take home the magical... ice trophy? Are you even watching? Be honest.
*An original version of this article improperly addressed water's freezing point as 32 degrees Celsius, when we clearly intended to write Fahrenheit. Celsius, while fancy and British, is quite hot.
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Johnny Weir is an absolute jerk. It eats him up that Bethenny doesn't take him seriously and is independent-minded. Like she said, it's skating, it's supposed to be fun. Good for her. He's the one who came off looking like a ****.
If it's worth anything, Johnny Weir is good friends with Jill Zarin.
Hate Bethenny, hate Jill Z but whatev's...You tell 'er Johnny!!!!
Umm... Mikey? 32 degrees Celsius? That's almost 90 Fahrenheit. If you call that "chilled", to quote a line from "While you were sleeping", they have doctors for that kind of thing!!! And this, kids, is why you don't drop out of high school (sorry if it stings, it's for the kids!! :)
Most amazing thing about this show is that they found 3.8 million people to watch it.
I pretty much watch anything/everything on TV, but this show is unbearable!!
Bethenny? Personality? Well, I suppose if you consider "spoiled five year old" personality. Since the first episode the judges have been trying to give her advice to improve. She simply ignores it and calls skating idiotic, much like a small child who isn't given the toy she wants and declares that it's a stupid toy and she doesn't want it anyway. Johnny Weir was way nicer than she had any right to expect. Why should the judges try to give her tips on improving if she doesn't care and will just act like such a big baby? Protip, Bethenny, don't get on a competition show if you can't take being judged.
Fact: she's a terrible skater. She's perpetually wobbly, she's stiff, if her partner isn't dragging her around or carrying her she basically just hops around a lot. The hard truth is that the only reason she's on the show at all next week is because Brandon quit.
Her fans are hurling a lot of crap at Johnny, mostly descending into homophobic insults and name-calling. No surprise there, really. They're clearly just as mature as their petulant queen.
Johnny was a lot nicer than I would have been to the spoiled Bi*ch!
If Skating With The Stars had three judges that knew what they were talking about, it would be more believable. Instead we get the sideshow carnival attraction sitting in the middle that totally ruins it. And ABC, better known as LOGO2, is clueless. They've trotted out a long list of garbage this fall and are finally having to pay the cost for cancelling a long list of shows with bigger audiences. Idiots- it serves them right!
Bethenny is enjoying herself. She's doing a good job and the judges are punishing her for not taking them seriously. Johnny Weir really wants to feel important, but Bethenny doesn't give him the pleasure. She's a strong woman who thinks for herself. People aren't used to that. Lighten up. It's a reality skating show!
Really? Anyone who knows real skating can see the glaring errors whoever-the-heck Bethenny is makes. A skating competition is not a personality competition - if it were, Johnny would have the Olympic Gold over the technical but mechanical performance that won.