'The Hooters 2010 International Swimsuit Pageant'

We are now officially waist-deep into the summer swimsuit season. And if you haven't yet perfected your beach bod, we're sad to inform you that you might not get there this summer. However, on a positive note, if you're almost at your perfect bikini weight, a little inspiration airs Saturday, July 10, with The Hooters 2010 International Swimsuit Pageant on Spike TV. One hundred Hooters girls from around the globe will compete for cash, prizes and sunscreen in what will surely be as tasteful a competition as you can expect from Spike. So if you love swimwear (or chicken fingers in a casual environment), call your friends; we're throwing a Hooters 2010 International Swimsuit Pageant party!

Setting the scene:
We can't remember the last time we threw a pool party, but this pageant has inspired us to pull out the water wings and inflatable giant swans, and pray for sun. Of course, the prerequisite to a decent pool party is, as you might guess, a pool. But if you don't have one, don't fret - there are portable above-ground options that are far less lame than in years past. So now that we have the water set, load up on pool toys: inflatable lounges, beach towels, beach balls and sunscreen. Have a small stage area near the pool for an informal swimsuit competition (please, no wagering). Add tiki torches, fog machines and a lighted disco ball because the party will continue late into the night. Don't forget to have the big-screen TV near the pool during the show (just keep it dry). And don't forget the Hooters tie-in. Add "Hooters at Play" signs, Hooters patio umbrellas, Hooters owls and Hooters Frisbees!

Attire:
First and foremost, sunscreen (we recommend SPF infinity) - but have a few Hooters T-shirts and tanks available to whoever wants to wear clothes.

On the menu:
If you don't have a Hooters restaurant nearby to cater, be sure to choose a menu from their very own cookbook.

On the hi-fi:
Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini by Brian Hyland, California Girls by the Beach Boys, I Wanna Be a Lifeguard by Blotto, Hot Fun in the Summertime by Sly & the Family Stone, Wipe Out by the Surfaris, Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue.

The showstopper:
In the money-is-no-object world of showstoppers, we thought it might be fun to open a Hooters restaurant. Unfortunately, all of the franchise opportunities in the lower 48 are taken, meaning we need to move to Alaska to open a Hooters.