If tonight's
"Gossip Girl" proves anything, it's that there's performance art, and then there's performance art. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.
There were also many lessons. And a big ol' helping of
Lady Gaga at the very end. Apparently getting her to perform is Blair's way of getting in good with the snobby theater students. All I know is that I was impressed she didn't trip on her dress.
On to the higher learnin'.
The third person is supposed to be a stranger: Just as predicted, the scandalous threesome between Dan, Olivia and Vanessa has bollixed up both a friendship and a relationship.
We start off with Dan swaggering down the street, bragging to Nate about his exploits ("Two girls, four boobs, one Dan Humphrey -- how awesome am I?"), to which a horrified Nate asks him just how stupid he is -- did he not get the memo about not having a threesome with your girlfriend and your friend? But Dan chooses to remain in dreamland -- at first, anyway -- even making plans with Vanessa to see Morrissey.
Which irks Olivia, who offered to help Dan with his application to the playwriting program at Tisch, but is thwarted by Dan's plans with Vanessa. She ends up growing claws a little bit later, possibly due to exposure to Blair, and ruins the plans by volunteering herself and Dan for the fairty tale-themed cabaret night that Blair's desperate to be involved in, even though she wasn't invited. She lies and says she signed them up for it a month ago.
Dan goes to Vanessa with his idea about a "Snow White" musical featuring the songs of Tisch alumna Lady Gaga, blowing Olivia's story. He gets Vanessa to direct, managing to enrage both Blair and Olivia in one shot. Rehearsal's awful, the ladies are incredibly tense, and Olivia stalks off, prompting Blair to ask, "What's going on? Did you bozos have a threesome or something?"
Olivia figures out that the real problem with the three of them is Dan, who hasn't been able to face the fact that he has feelings for Vanessa. She leaves the show halfway through, forcing Vanessa to take over her role and kiss Dan, according to the script. Stop kidding yourself, she tells him, and later decides to take the movie. Vanessa, meanwhile, approaches the two of them wanting to talk, and assures Olivia she has no feelings for Dan. Which leaves him in a bit of a rough spot.
You can't buy acceptance from snotty theater kids... or can you? Blair gets snubbed time and again by industry brats that it would feel really good to trip. They want to get Lady Gaga to perform, and completely blow off her suggestion that Cyrus Rose, her big-time entertainment lawyer stepfather, could call in a favor. In the end, though, our girl comes through, and there's Miss Gaga in her dress with 30 feet of train that has to be flung around by an army of men, and she's singing "
Bad Romance." Of course.
