'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' I swear, I will Botox you!
Last week, it was revealed that "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" have lazy, entitled, overindulged, poorly educated kids. This week, wash, rinse, repeat, only replace "kids" with "women".
Teresa takes Gia to Wilhelmina Models agency in Manhattan as she tries to chase fame with her daughter as her avatar. The modeling exec can tell in a heartbeat that Gia is a pageant kid (and Teresa is a stage mom) and says so. Teresa argues that she paid $800 for those photos and did the modeling exec look at all of them? One of the people in that room is an expert in her field. The other is a New Jersey Housewife. It's not hard to tell which is which. Teresa gets the pictures reshot, by the same photographer (great choice) but the exec finds a couple that are usable anyway.
Jacqueline talks to Ashley about the fact that she failed two classes and has to go to summer school. Ashley rolls her eyes and then pouts. In response to her failing school, Jacqueline and her husband buy Ashley a car. It seems like Caroline talks her out of actually giving the car to Ashley, because she tells her to "hide it" (Where? In the bushes?) and then we never hear about it again.
Danielle goes rock climbing with her daughters and again espouses fitness as the key to youth. Is fitness also the key to looking like Joan Rivers? She also goes out to dinner with Teresa, Jacqueline and their husbands where she plans to publicly dump the boyfriend that is 20 years her junior. Because she's the mature one. They talk her out of it, and she returns to interrupt a later play date to drag it out even more, this time claiming that she doesn't know how to break up with someone. I think she means, she doesn't know how to conclude a relationship in a way that is not akin to a train wreck.
Dina and her brother, a chef and stylist for "mega-celebrities", shop and buy a blue fuzzy rug because animal prints are big this season and apparently they believe muppets will be big next season. Dina also attends a "spa party" at Danielle's house, which seems more like a plastic surgery party as there is a doctor there giving Botox and lip injections. Dina claims she would never do anything to her face (she must mean anything more) and then as the wine flows gets cattier and cattier about wanting to give Danielle the painful injections herself.
Which, yes, is very rude. And yet also very enabling for Danielle's brand of drama. Danielle claims that Dina is scared of her because she "knows too much" about her. Which sounds a bit delusional to me. On the other side of the fence, Teresa and Jacqueline gossip that they heard Danielle used to be a stripper, is a "husband stealer" and is currently stringing along 5 men. (And also, apparently, has an old mugshot that appears in a now out-of-print book called "Cop Without a Badge" that was published in the mid-'90s. We'll find out about it next week.) Caroline, proving again she is the most normal of the group, merely decides to investigate it for herself rather than listen to idle gossip.
So, Caroline is clearly the only normal person on the show. What do you think of the rest of the "housewives"?