Patti Stanger: 'He's just not into you ... now'
He's Just Not That Into You may have been the top box office draw this past weekend, but Bravo's The Millionaire Matchmaker thinks that that philosophy -- based on the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo -- may be throwing in the towel too soon when it comes to marriage.
"I'd read the book and I think Greg was onto something, but I have a different philosophy than him," says Patti Stanger. "I believe 'He's just not into you now, but he could be later.'"
Stanger advises marriage-minded women who have put in the time with a guy who's dragging his feet about proposing to use a Me-a-matum, not an ultimatum. In her book, Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate, she explains the difference:
"An ultimatum is a demand accompanied by a threat. A Me-a-matum is a suggestion accompanied by a gesture."
Stanger's theory is that men, once comfortable in a relationship, don't want to go out and look for love again. The Me-a-matum is his wake-up call.
"I believe men are creatures of habit. If you give them everything they want, you cook his meals and clean his house, and five years later if he hasn't given you the ring, you need to leave.
"You don't do it nasty. You go, 'Hey listen, you know, it's been a great five-year run, but I just realized you're not marriage-minded as I am.' [Then you] hit the road.
"He starts to freak out, 'cause now his whole world has been shattered. He'll come around. They say a guy's not gone till eight weeks. So he'll come around. I actually think in the first two weeks he starts to panic."
The new season of Bravo's The Millionaire Matchmaker premieres on Thursday, Feb. 12 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.
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Do you believe in the philosophy of He's Just Not That Into You? Would you take romantic advice from The Millionaire Matchmaker?
We women need to stop buying into the idea that we haven't 'made it' in life until we have husbands and children. It's not 1955. Men don't sit around worrying that there's something wrong with themselves if they aren't married.
I think anyone who calls herself "The Millionaire Matchmaker" is probably more interested in self-promotion than helping others.
"we"?? I don't depend on other people for my happiness but I still like dating & getting advice.. That categorizes me as stuck in the 1955's??....
As for the matchmaker, well... Same goes for a psychologist.. They call themself that because that's their occupation but it does not suppliment the fact that he/she helps people.... Patti is literally a millionaire matchmaker which is an occuption that helps people.
I imagine that if Ms. Stanger herself were responding to this, she'd point out that she's not talking about all women, she's talking about "marriage-minded women." Similarly, everything she says on her show about how women and men have to be should be specifically qualified as "marriage-minded women using my service to meet millionaires" and "millionaires who want to meet a woman through my service." Although -- I think maybe her statements about *men* are sometimes more generalized and pointed... I mean, I see where you're coming from, but I find the show kind of fascinating in that it appears to conform to the most stereotypical of gender roles while also having on a certain level a really subversive feel...
Patti Stanger is a HORRIBLE human being, one of the most shallow, superficial jerks on reality tv, and that is saying alot. I hope she can humble herself somehow. She needs a big slap in the face.
WTF does this transvestite, patti stanger, know. the women on her show are marginal. she looks like an ugly man. no man with game or money uses a dating service. her plastic surgery is hideous. need I say more?
You can't help loving her big boobs though, Ben!
You can't help but love her big boobs though, Ben!
So I saw the show for the first time today. I agree Patti Stanger is a hideous looking woman who needs to show us proof that she herself can land a decent looking guy looking the way she does. Can I say plastic surgery overload? Just a breast reduction my ***! Ha! U gotta respect her hustle though!
I watch MILLIONAIRE and take it for what it is...light entertainment. Agreed, Patti's remarks should be taken in context i.e. men who use her service are looking for particular types of women. This doesn't apply to all men. Patti has said that if you're older and unskinny, men in LA aren't interested. True, some men, but not all. Mature, overweight, hell, even FAT women find love in LA every day. Just not with Patti's clientele. So what?
I think it's hypocritical for a woman like Patti to say all this stuff about men when she should look in the mirror herself. Fix your face, your hair, your relationship that is going no where. The woman is in denial. She's old and she cannot even get her man to tie her down.