'Lost': Show me the way to go home

We're totally list crazy this week on the Lost blog. And I don't mean grocery lists, either. On Sunday, we listed ten reasons you should be excited about this week's episode. Yesterday, we laid out five possible explanations for a mysterious door seen in the promo for "The Shape of Things to Come." And today, we're going to look a bit beyond the episode itself at a topic related to but not directly addressed by this week's episode: just how do the Oceanic 6 get off that darn island, anyways?

After all, something happens this week that jump starts Jack's quest to get off the Island ASAP. I won't spoil what it is, but sufficed to say, he's looking to leave by any means necessary after this event, and as such, it's worth putting on our thinking caps and looking at a few possible methods by which the Oceanic 6 end up on a remote island in the South Pacific that's not invisible to the naked eye, not dotted with research stations from a mysterious Initiative, and not featuring even one smoke monster.

Let's remember the specifics as laid out by Jack Shephard under oath in "Eggtown": eight people survived the initial crash, dragged by Kate out of the water onto a nearby deserted island and generally kept alive through her efforts. Two of those survivors died in between the initial crash and the time the Oceanic 6 were discovered. Them's the "facts," and by "facts" I mean "the story concocted in order to conceal a terrible truth."

We can't glean a lot from that story, but we at least know that the Oceanic 6 didn't magically appear inside the Mall of America. They were found on an Island ostensibly near the staged crash at a point yet to be determined, discovered more than likely by an anonymous "tip" by one Benjamin Linus. (Pure speculation, but that feels correct in my bones.)

With all that said, how could they end up there? Let's rule out ridiculous options like "super duper sling shot" and "by using Hurley as a flotation device." Let's also table the discussion of the other two people who factor into the cover story, as all options below could account for six or eight people from a practical standpoint.

We good? Good. Onto the options!

Option #1) The Elizabeth

Pros: Practically speaking, this is one of the best possible outlets for the Oceanic 6. While Desmond had trouble leaving the Island via the boat he once used to attempt to sail around the world, but he also didn't have Daniel Faraday's insight into the ways to get on and off the Island. Assuming Hurley leaves the Barracks with Aaron per Claire's orders to find safety for her child, everyone could leave from the beach undetected by the freighter, rendered helpless by Michael's subterfuge.

Cons: That's one insanely slow and conspicuous way off the Island, especially with a big honkin' freighter just offshore. Faraday wouldn't necessarily know how Desmond and/or Oceanic 815 approached the Island, therefore couldn't calculate a path for them to leave. Did I mention the insanely slow part?

Option #2) The Kahana

Pros: Given the sickness ravaging the crew of the ship, and given that all the mercenaries are on the Island, it's not impossible to conceive a scenario in which Sayid instigates a coup of the boat (his first act under Ben) and uses the resources aboard to get as many people away as possible.

Cons: It's possible, but unlikely. The Oceanic 6 ostensibly survived the crash and swam to a nearby island. That theory's out the window once people spy the ginormous freakin' freighter a quarter-mile off shore. Sure, there are scenarios in which they ditch the freighter along the way, but all stretch the possibility of this scenario being true thinner than Nicole Ritchie.

Option #3) The Orchid

Pros: We've seen inferences that the Orchid Station can send objects from one space/time to another, which means that one could simply say, "Beam me up, Dharma!" and land somewhere else in the world. Given the secrecy of the Oceanic 6's pact, and the worldwide war still raging after the fact, it's possible that the 6 got out through risky not benign means, in response to a grave threat and/or imminent demise.

Cons: That's the most out there of all the options, and while the inner geek in me would probably squeal in delight, the narrative geek in me would pout in disgust. Not only would be an easy out (literally), but it would also push the show even further from hard sci-fi into a more fantastical realm where incredible technology can be randomly introduced in order to solve narrative problems. I can see a use for the technology implied to exist in the Orchid in the overall story of Lost; just not in this instance.

Option #4) The Galaga

Pros: Well, if you want a stealthy way to get off the Island, a submarine would do you nicely. If you were suspicious of a soaking wet Locke on the docks of New Otherton, here's your narrative payoff to that seemingly incongruous story line.

Cons: Ockham's Razor says that sub was indeed destroyed, no matter how much certain Lost bloggers shout to the roof tops that it's still around. And if Kate suddenly turns into Sean Connery from The Hunt for Red October, I might have to hand in my Lost badge.

Option #5) The Helicopter

Pros: We've seen the helicopter successfully enter and leave the Island, so it's a viable option. Lapidus is both loyal to their cause and narratively expendable. He could help them escape but die in the process, leaving them unable to return to the mainland but still safely on land somewhere nearby.

Cons: Could all of them leave during the same trip? That's the biggest con I can conceive. I've gone off the belief that leaving the Island should be a monumental, dramatic, one-time-only event. Given that only four came to the Island initially in Faraday's chopper and only four left for the Freighter, the numbers work against this scenario.

So, those are the five I can conceive at this particular moment. Now it's your turn. What scenario sounds most likely? Least likely? And what did I miss? Leave your thoughts below!

Ryan also posts every 108 minutes over at Boob Tube Dude.