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'Miss America' tries to keep it real
Does anyone really watch the Miss America pageant anymore (unless they know the contestants)? I know I surely haven't. So why on earth was I tuning in on a Saturday night?
Well, supposedly, the contest and its outdated cheesiness has gotten a revamp. TLC's Miss America Reality Check was a short-run reality show in which the crop of 52 (50 states plus Misses Virgin Islands and District of Columbia) contestants got a makeover to be more contemporary and "real" and to redefine the "It" girl. So, the live pageant on Jan. 26 was going to test just how real the girls got and if that was rewarded.
The Intro
It was set in Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas, pretty much the least "real" place I can think of except for Neverland Ranch. Venue aside, I also had major issues with the cheesy, square-jawed host (didn't even get his name), who needed a makeover of his own. Seriously. His comments were very, very forced and bad.
The girls looked better at least because they started out all in jeans (dark and light wash) and layered tanks, color-coded to match their reality show designations. The Dark Blue team had the best track record winning, the Pink Team was the underdog team without wins, etc. But the way the girls shouted out their names and states sounded the same. They tried to add a bit of realness with a brief trivia info of their state, but some of the girls were really reaching for material. I mean, Delaware had to say she came from the state that was the home of Henry Heimlich -- yes, the physician who created the Heimlich maneuver to better clear our passageways of foreign objects. Now that, I have to say, is real. Poor Miss Maine actually looked properly embarrassed to point out that her state was the birthplace of McDreamy, aka Patrick Dempsey. Finally, Wyoming got laughs when she said that her state moved up its primaries but nobody cared. Way to be topical and humorous!
The Sidekick
The host often threw it over to Clinton Kelly, co-host of TLC's What Not to Wear, who actually kept things lighthearted with the eliminated contestants over on the risers. You know, I'd prefer it if he took over as host. He got to be kooky and really, how can you not love the fact that he brought the ejectees a platter full of sweet pastries and yelled out, "Carbohydrates!"
He also gave props to DJ Cassidy. WTF? Uhh, is this part of the new image? I somehow don't buy the DJ image for a big pageant.
The Semifinalists
I really, really wanted Miss Alaska to be one of the Top 16, but unfortunately, her quirkiness probably did her in. I was happy to see a few familiar faces from the reality show make it to the next level: Miss Florida, whose facial skin was burned off in an explosion but beautifully restored with minimal scarring; Miss Washington, who's very pro gay marriage because her dad (after being divorced from her mom) took a gay partner; and Miss Utah, the awkwardly feminine military girl. In the absence of Alaska, I was gunning for the very cute and sassy Washington to take the crown.
The Swimsuit Competition
Okay, they all looked great physically for this "health and fitness" portion. Who are we kidding? It's still incredibly sexist! Why don't we test their mettle to prove their fitness. That would spice up the proceedings. Well, the bit of "realness" here is that the girls supposedly learned how to put a little oomph and personality into their swimsuit walk. Many of the girls looked uncomfortable and embarrassed, but a few threw in some spins and hair tosses. Washington rocked it out with a very burlesque pose, turning her back to the crowd and then looking saucily over her shoulder. Oh, and why was Utah the only one wearing a one-piece?
Six were then promptly eliminated after this humiliating bit of titillation (and you cannot convince me otherwise) but once again, I give props to Washington who, after finding out G.I. Jill Miss Utah was eliminated, proposed to do push-ups as a farewell. Many of the other girls followed suit, so you had a line of girls in short black dresses doing pushes on stage in Vegas. Come on!
The Evening Wear Competition
Through the reality show, the girls were supposed to learn what flattered them, how less is more and how the old-school sequins and beadery were tacky. Props to some girls for showing off assets while still being classy and keeping their hair simple, like low, loose ponytails. Unfortunately, you just can't fight bad taste or judgment. My candidates for What Not to Wear: Iowa & Georgia - both customized their dresses and looked like '80s throwbacks; Texas - a lilac overdress with a bright chartreuse underskirt? Um, no; Indiana - Poor girl. On the reality show she wore her own creation because she studied fashion design and then got pitied/cautioned by the judges for her taste. Unfortunately, her garish purple gown with asymmetrical accents really didn't show that she learned what worked for her.
The Talent Competition
Two of the women were eliminated before they could perform. I admit I was really looking forward to Miss Iowa, who mentioned that she was sad that the competition didn't allow fire since she did a flaming baton act. She did get a farewell chance to show off a few throws and spins, but it was bittersweet. Lots of singing, some good ballet dancing, but it still felt incongruous in Vegas. My favorite ws probably Texas doing a jazz en point routine with a Fosse-esque outfit. Wisconsin totally rocked it with her violin, but I don't expect others to really like that. What I'd love to see and would never happen in a million years: a competitive eater scarfing down as many deviled egg halves as possible (some wasabi flavored) in three minutes.
The Q&A portion
The questions were posed by people on the street. I think these were their actual questions because most of them involved a celebrity element. I think I heard Lindsay Lohan mentioned three times, among others. Frankly, I thought answers were fairly coherent, yet rehearsed and properly message-laden, much like answers past. A sampling of questions:
- Should a person who is HIV-positive or infected with and STD tell their fiancee? -- My take: What? How did that person become a fiancee without finding out beforehand? Wrong, stupid and wrong again.
- What does it say about our society that a person like Paris Hilton can be famous for nothing?
- Should Jamie Lynn Spears be fired from Zoey 101 after becoming pregnant?
The Finals and Final Analysis
The first and second runner up, Miss Indiana (of the bad fashion sense but sweet attitude) and Miss Washington (my fave), respectively, also happened to be in the Top Three picks of the most improved and personable from the reality show. Way to go!
The winner, Miss Michigan Kirsten Haglund seemed nice, but her image screamed old-school pageant because her blonde hair was teased a bit, her earrings were big and her dress -- ugh! It was the same dress she wore for the evening wear competition, and yeah, it's different from the traditional sequined thing, but it was really the tackiest thing up there because it had lots of cutout portions covered in mesh with a mesh skirt. You know, she looked a lot like last year's winner, Lauren Nelson, who crowned her. Frankly, I don't remember her from the reality show at all, but apparently she really wowed the judges with her fitness, poise, fashion sense, performance of "Over the Rainbow" and ability to think on her stilettoed feet. Kudos.
Overall, the format was pretty much the same since all the various portions remained. The girls did look different and more accessible -- with a few glaring exceptions -- but is this what pageant fans want? I can't say it makes me want to watch the pageant again regardless ... even if I did enjoy Clinton Kelly.
One last thought: If they're gonna revamp the show, why oh why didn't they update the "There She Is" song in the way it's sung? At least DJ Cassidy (or the producers) had the good sense to crank the music up over that cheesily crooned ditty.
What did you think about the pageant? Did you love/loathe the changes? Who were you rooting for?
I watched the Reality Check show and was looking forward to a more current pageant, boy was I ever disappointed. I personally loved Miss DC, Utah, Alaska and Washington. Somehow the top contenders were the same old types who always win. Ms. Michigan did not say current, "it" or anything about today's woman. I think that the judges looked less being contemporary and focused on blonde, big hair and traditional.
Ny | Jan 26, 2008 9:49:34 PM | #It's such a joke. All that talk about making Miss America "modern" and it was the same old sequins-and-fluffy-hair, bad singing, q&a that doesn't require deep thought and barbie doll getups. Doing the same old bikini walk to techno music doesn't make this thing modern, interesting or relevant.
| Jan 27, 2008 10:26:25 AM | #I thought the pagent looked like it had a personality disorder. It hyped the change which reaaly means it has to compete with the Trump version Miss USA. For the non pageant community that means Miss America had to drop the gooddie goodie image and bust out literally with SEX appeal, a very bad word in Miss America with sexy outfits and catwalk moves. When MI strutted out in her bikini, I thought they were really going to pull off the makeover. Swimsuit went down hill from there..to my own Miss NC who could not have been more of a traditoanl candidate. Ugh! Even though Miss Military's swimsuit was old school her peronality was new. She and several other potential moderm queens were ousted after swimsuit while several traditionals remianed. I didn't understand how Miss NC and Miss MI could be in the top 8 of the same pageant. They were such opposite ends of the spectrum. Compare the 2 in evening gown. MI busted out agin with sexy..that same dress would have been banned from last years competiton and then ther was Miss NC in her traditoal debutant gown no sexier that a nun in church. So the bi polar persisted until tent for me. I got my answer then.. Miss America is still a variety talent show. The talents were great _ sooo old school but great. Miss America has always put too much eeight on talent and encouarged the conservative performanes. Kudos to Miss WA for doing a modern song. She probably had to fight her pageant committee over it who would have suggested a classic show tune! In the end how do you have Miss NC as 4th and Miss MI winning and beautiful sassy Miss CA left in the cold??? Don't get me wrong I think MI was more in line with a modern quenn just not sure how Ms NC came that closde when she was sOooooo not anywhere near modern. Miss America is doing it again only giving lip service to change. America is bored with cute reserved safe pageants. If you're talented go on American Idol. Its rejects produces more stars than Miss America. If you really want to reinvent the pagent make it a real reality series. Let real judges narrow the 52 to 15 and from there let the public vote them out on a series of shows. Assemble a panel of star judges complete with a grumpy quick witted critic to add some amusemnt and have the panel critic each girl weekly in various competitions. If community service is the focus get a donar to donate a lump sum to the contestsnt that can win a debate over most worhty cause. Have sports illus judge the swimsuit compeition. Go for it make this thing real we want it to succeed we want to vate but you have to get real not pretend to be.
arm chair judge | Jan 27, 2008 10:30:54 AM | #I can't believe after watching Reality Check how the pageant ended up being the same as years past. If you watched Reality Check you thought hey this could be good and modern. Miss Michigan what a joke at being today's modern woman. Miss Washington should have won. I would have loved to have seen Miss Alaska have a chance in the finals as well. I know I won't be watching next year. The pageant world is impenetrable. They want to keep it the way it's always been which unfortunetly will be it's death.
| Jan 27, 2008 10:37:22 AM | #In total agreement with what has already been said.
I'm sure she is a nice girl, but Miss Michigan was another Pageant Patty. I thought she was totally forgettable throughout. I turned the channel when she was singing, because my dogs were howling in pain. Okay, my dogs weren't howling, but I did change the channel. And the dress? Hello, Dynasty called and wants its look back.
Miss Washington was my favorite throughout. I only caught bits and pieces of the reality show, and couldn't tell you who those judges picked. But she caught my eye and my fancy and my appreciation from the start, and I watched just to see her.
Mark Steiner, the host, did suck. He was embarrassing. Calling for Miss Wyoming instead of Miss Wisconsin? Unforgivable.
I had high hopes, and the thought of a revamp had me watching for the first time in many years.
Meh.
ish | Jan 27, 2008 12:01:22 PM | #I agree with everyone else who already posted. I watched Reality Check (mostly because it was on after What Not To Wear and I love myself some Stacy and Clinton)and I embraced the idea of a new, revamped Miss America. Unfortuantely, the Miss America people didn't agree. I couldn't believe Miss Michigan (who I'm sure is a very nice person) won with her old school hair/makeup, so-so singing, and some of the tackiest dresses I have ever seen. I would love to know what the Reality Check judges (who really seemed to want a new image for Miss America and who never picked MI in the top three) thought of the whole debacle. I think they would have been better judges than the panel they had (what makes these people qualified anyway?....being a "childhood friend" of JT?) -at least they were all about a new image. I also would have loved to have sat in the loser stands next to Clinton all night, munching on carbs and bitching about the outfits.
Also, that host was the worst host in the history of hosting. He could not read a single line without flubbing it....painful to watch.
carson | Jan 27, 2008 2:02:25 PM | #I agree! They spent all of this time to change these womens idea of who the modern Miss America should be and then have the old fashioned pageant. Maybe next year the pageant people should get a reality check.
Rich S | Jan 27, 2008 7:27:40 PM | #We watched the 4-week Reality Show and then caught up with the Pageant on our DVR late last night. After the pageant agreed to the reality series, we thought the three who were "most improved" from that show should have all had a "bye" into the final 16. As it happened, two did make it, so we were sad that Miss New Mexico did not. And yes, we were also sad Miss Alaska didn't, though I'm sure most viewer votes came through the first three episodes, which all put Miss Utah in a very favorable (justifiably so) light.
What did others think of the show itself? We hated the elimination of two finalists before they could do the talent portion. And it was a bit rushed between the gowns and the talent, so there couldn't have been time for the dancers to warm up properly. Sitting on stage instead of backstage was unfair in that regard, too. Plus, it was bad ass gthey finished performing - no drinks of water, no collecting their breath off-camera, etc.
The questiuons were poor, the competing to get in to answer was poorly set - much better to have eliminated to a final 5 and then bring it to a final two, instead of 1 winner and 3 losers being left on stage at the end.
Thoughts?
WV | Jan 27, 2008 9:18:37 PM | #My niece was one of the contestants this year. She has worked so hard preparing for the pageant and for what??? To be made fun of... She was in the Pink group, "under-dogs" so she didn't have a chance from the beginning. The group was not given a chance. How would you like to be placed with a label of "the state that has never won" before the pageant even started? She has been very positive about everything, but I truly think that TLC should be ashamed for the mockery they have caused. Isn't it funny that the pink group did not have was the only group with no top 16 contestant?
Cara C | Jan 28, 2008 5:44:30 AM | #I wasn't surprised at all by the results (not by the winner. Miss washington was robbed) but by the pagent itself. Scholarship program, my fanny. 10K, 20k, even 50K doesn't go to far in the institutions most of these girls attend or have attended. It's for the resume bullets. PR work, broadcasting, meeting Congressman Right. That's the point of doing the pagent thing. Most of their families spent the equal amount of prize money...or more...on pagent trainers, entry fees, sytlists, personal trainers, designers...etc. If you want to be a serious contender in the upper ranks of the pagent world you go in with hours and dollars of conditioning...and a "four week" (which was actually taped over a few days) of "reality check" is not goiing to make the "professional pagent-ers" flush away a lifetime of training. They've worked too long and too hard to take that risk.
Josie | Jan 28, 2008 5:59:15 AM | #The pageant was different, but still good TV. I think the winner is pretty, although I was rooting for Miss California. The pageant will be around for another 87 years, or probably as long as we all inhabit this planet.
Paul | Jan 28, 2008 7:13:24 AM | #@ Cara C
I feel for you and your niece. Just so you know, I almost always root for the underdog. That's my policy anyway. And if I am in that position, it gives me all the more reason to show the naysayers that they've underestimated me. Since your niece is a competitor and fairly positive as you say, maybe that's how she viewed it. I hope surely hope so. I also hoped that there would be a "pink" person in the semifinals. I also wanted Miss Alaska to be there too because she's just what's needed to shake the traditional image up.
Hanh | Jan 28, 2008 8:14:59 AM | #I don't think we saw Michigan, California or Texas in the reality show. It seemed like they were really pushing for Alaska, Washington and Indiana, 2 of which were finalists.
As far as the pageant went and they picked the 4th through 1st runners up I figured the winner was going to be California or Wisconsin based on their talent so when they said Miss Michigan as the winner I was quite shocked. She was pretty but kinda generic looking and her rendition of over the rainbow was painful to listen to.
Personally I thought Washington should have won the whole thing
First, I think if you're going to REVIEW a show, you should get the names of the people ON it. The 'host' was Mark Steinas, from Entertainment Tonight. You could have found that out. I could'nt care less who he was; but at least he had the sense to be embarrassed about what was going ON.
The pageant itself was horrible. The whole idea of updating it was horrible. It is a tradition and if everybody under 30 wants to watch a MODERN pageant, there are a myriad to choose from that are tacky and require no talent other than being able to pay for your implants and grease your teeth with vaseline.
I was embarrassed for whoever thought it was a cute idea to line those girls up and instead of announcing WINNERS who were finalists, they introduce the ones who were eliminated....i.e., Miss Missippi you are NOT a finalist. Ugh. How embarrassing for everybody involved.
Why line them up ready to do talent, not tell them WHEN they're going to do it, and then eliminate them one by one?
The whole thing was sadistic in my view, and I'll be REALLY surprised if the "new improved" pageant doesn't undergo some major changes. You had only to look at "the host" and how he cringed everytime he had to eliminate one of those girls to know that they'll play hell getting anybody to do it again.
And WHY???? was it funny for Clinton to bring out a tray of doughnuts and yell "carbohydrates"? What exactly was there in that that made anybody laugh?
TLC and the Miss America organization should be embarrassed.
Jan | Jan 28, 2008 9:50:12 AM | #Miss Mich might look pageant patti-ish, but this is her first time at bat. Past winners have competed for years and years. She's young and fresh and not 'stepfordish' to me.
Show was Ok but TLC (who produced/cooreographed) could have done better. MC clearly had trouble. Absolutely loved the quip from the contestant asked the stupid question from Clinton. His response was human too.
Wow, it was really bad. I had the reference to "come now ladies, get your carbs.." like that was going to make anybody feel any better. It was a real let down on who they picked and it didn't appear changed at all. :(
stephj | Jan 28, 2008 12:26:23 PM | #When I saw the four women standing up there after they'd announced all the runners up, I just assumed Miss California was the winner. She had the most poise, presence, sang the hell out of that song, and definitely had a modern look and a rockin' bod. Miss Michigan's singing was embarrassingly bad, as was her evening wear. I guess they liked her answer to the question, but it was a pretty easy one (are people obligated to tell their fiances if they have an STD? uh...yeah).
I also didn't like the reality show way of eliminating people by calling out the losers rather than the people moving on. So mean and humiliating.
Jill S | Jan 28, 2008 2:31:40 PM | #Well, most of what I have been feeling has been expressed here. I thought it was classless to tear the "losers" down, instead of building up the winners. Winners should be "called up" not pushed down to the carb pile. It was cruel and undignified to women. But after all, if this is a "job interview" why in the world are we as a culture obsessed with almost having a woman as our Democratic nominee for US President and yet we make these women prance around like sex objects?
It was terrible to do that to the two girls who were ready to do their talent. Washington and Indiana seemed to be groomed up from the reality show but really weren't that pretty or great on the show.
I thought Miss South Carolina in the Top 16 was the only truly classic beauty...shame the novice judges missed that.
Here's the reality: Miss America is better than this. It doesn't have to be American Idol (losing there is sometimes better than winning, ie Daughtry) or Survivor...this is about empowerment of women, not pole dancing. Why does this have to be like Miss USA, we already have that? We all know that show makes money because Trump and NBC own that franchise and sell it overseas for big big fees (and returns.) The ratings are low, 9 or 10 million. Accordingly, getting 3 million folks on cable is a big dang deal. The ratings were up...but I hope they won't lose the CLASS.
I wouldn't let my daughter do this...be ripped down. Our culture already does that enough, we eat away at the heart and souls of our young women (think Britney, Lindsay and Paris here)...Miss America used to provide a role model that could be believed in by young women. Now, they are dumbing down this franchise too.
BRING ELEGANT AND CLASS AND EMPOWERMENT BACK! As it was, this was a tasteless, classless attack on the virtues of young women everywhere. TLC have better taste, this is not success. Miss America is being desperate in chasing ANY tv network.
Be responsible MISS AMERICA, Art and Sam and this lame duck board, or keep dumbing yourself down even more.
I smell fear and women keep running away even faster.
I naturally assumed with the four girl remaining that Miss California had it in the bag! Her talent was far better than Michigan, her swimwear (although the same suit practically) seemed much more classy and her evening wear was amazing, she looked like a greek goddess and while michigan looked like britney spears mailed her an old stretched out mess thing! yuck. poor choice miss america judges.
samantha | Jan 29, 2008 10:11:58 PM | #horrible, just horrible! The "reality show" was horrible - those catty people on the Advisory board were just plain stupid - oine week to the next they contradicted themselves - STUPID. The finals:The host seemed unprepared - the format was horrible. I loved when they announced how many people were in the audience - but then when they showed the room - there were hundreds of empty seats.
I am a HUGE fan of the pageant - but the fault lies with the porducer(s) These people are the ones who make these stupid decisions. They have ruined the pageant - the President of the Board should fire the person who produced this stupid program!
horrible, just horrible! The "reality show" was horrible - those catty people on the Advisory board were just plain stupid - oine week to the next they contradicted themselves - STUPID. The finals:The host seemed unprepared - the format was horrible. I loved when they announced how many people were in the audience - but then when they showed the room - there were hundreds of empty seats.
I am a HUGE fan of the pageant - but the fault lies with the porducer(s) These people are the ones who make these stupid decisions. They have ruined the pageant - the President of the Board should fire the person who produced this stupid program!
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