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East 'Meats' West at Hot Dog Contest
It's that time of year again -- when I have to figure out what channel ESPN is on my cable box. Yes, it's the annual Independence Day Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. The only other time I'll tune into the sports network is during the National Spelling Bee.
Spoilers ahead in addition to details that might spoil your appetite.
It was a true photo finish in the world of competitive eating on this most patriotic of holidays. Forget the Olympics. The Hot Dog Eating Contest is what decides international dominance between the great nations of America and Japan. This honorable rivalry has been going nigh on 10 years when the first Japanese citizen hopped a plane to snatch the Yellow Mustard Belt from American hands.
The past six years in a row, that citizen has been the svelte Takeru "the Tsunami" Kobayashi, whose 53 3/4 HDB (hot dogs and buns) record at Coney Island was smashed in June at a regional qualifier by San Jose college student Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, who downed 59 1/2 HDB.
If that record weren't enough of a threat to the title, there's been buzz that Kobayashi wouldn't compete this year because of an arthritic jaw. Was this merely a ploy to lull Chestnut into complacency? Not so. Apparently, Kobayashi has been in pain ever since he had an impacted wisdom tooth removed, but thanks to the wonders of acupuncture and an indomitable spirit, he was back in biting form today.
But before delving into the action, let's pause to consider: was alternative medicine the only remedy? As in other athletic competitions, would drugs have been frowned upon? Are performance-enhancing drugs actually detrimental to gustatory athletes? Do you have to be able to feel the food in your mouth to perform efficiently? Is there any sort of enzyme booster? Methinks the IFOCE needs to address these issues.
As the 12-minute contest began, Chestnut pulled ahead early on, easily averaging five HDB ahead of his closest competition, Kobayashi, who didn't show any signs of his jaw injury. Both competitors demonstrated various eating styles to advantage:
Chestnut: General chipmunking (face stuffing) with the signature Chestnut shake to activate his abdominal muscles and aid digestion.
Kobayashi: Chipmunking, clearing (stuffing and swallowing), separating bun from dog, and Solomoning (snapping hot dog in two and eating them side-by-side)
By the halfway point, Chestnut's lead had shrunk to about two dogs, and it looked like endurance and determination would be the key to winning. The other competitors weren't even close, although Pat Bertoletti (who had stolen the jalepeno title from Chestnut) made a good showing.
Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, the highest-ranked female IFOCE athlete, didn't even break the Top 5, although as always, the commentators pointed out her poise and grace as she stuffed her delicate face. Fun fact: Thomas once ate a 10th of her body weight in cheesecake in 10 minutes. The only other female competitor was the similarly heavy 105-pound Juliet Lee.
As the competition wore on, every minute, every half minute, nay every few seconds seemed to make a difference. By the nine-minute mark, Chestnut had set a new Coney Island record when he cleared 54 dogs and was still eating strong. With only 2.5 minutes to go, Kobayashi pulled up even, cheek to cheek as it were, with his rival.
By the last minute, the lead yo-yo-ed back and forth. It looked like Kobayashi would just barely hold onto his championship belt when the unthinkable happened: a reversal of fortune.
Cupping his hand valiantly over his mouth as the crowd counted down the last seconds, Kobayashi baptized the spray zone through the gaps in his fingers. As he scrambled to hide his shame and stuff the soggy bits of bun back into his mouth, the crowd eagerly awaited the final decision of the judges, who asked to view the tape.
Usually, a reversal of fortune is an automatic DQ for the competitor. Would Kobayashi's efforts be all for naught or would he be docked a few HDB?
In the end, Chestnut scored his first and most significant victory over Kobayashi, eating a record 66 (again folks, that's 66) HDB to his rival's 63. Third place finisher, the mohawked Bertoletti, only downed 49.
It appears that Chestnut, the 23-year-old phenom who trains by eating cheese fries, has lived up to his promise. He first had a break-out performance in 2005 with fried asparagus, then continued to kick gustatory ass and take names with Waffle House waffles and Krystal burgers (so sorry, Black Widow) and even traveled to Japan to steal the gyoza-eating title. Now he's brought back the Mustard Belt to American soil.
As another July 4th passes and the spirit of our founding forefathers lives on, I leave you with a few words:
USA! USA! USA!
that's right.
the title of over eating should comes back where it belongs...america.
kev | Jul 5, 2007 12:38:04 AM | #Amazingly, this all proves that big things come in small packages. (although I have to wonder how those big things are stored...)
pakopako | Jul 5, 2007 7:47:39 AM | #What about Pat from Moonakie, and babybird?
Anthony Cumia | Jul 5, 2007 9:13:58 AM | #i wonder how much one of his dookies weighs when he goes to the bathroom later - it must fill up the whole toilet ---- USA USA HOORAH
donny | Jul 5, 2007 10:01:57 AM | #I can't eat TWO HDB w/out feeling like I'm going to blow chunks! How do these people do it?
66 hot dogs, not counting the bun has got to weigh nearly 8 pounds!!
Vince | Jul 5, 2007 11:35:07 AM | #Uh...what kind of hot dogs were they? And werer there any condiments?
Uh...what kind of hot dogs were they? And were there any condiments?
Clinton Lariscy | Jul 5, 2007 12:42:56 PM | #Hilarious. I'm sorry I missed it, but now I feel like I was there.
Andy Stubinki | Jul 5, 2007 12:50:08 PM | #According to the ESPN commentator, Chestnut is an American hero and has changed the course of the nation. Good to know that at a time when people in America are still starving, we celebrate gluttony and waste.
Raj | Jul 5, 2007 4:05:22 PM | #I find it incredibly impressive yet deeply disturbing that The Black Widow ate 44 Maine Lobsters (11.3 Pounds of meat) from the shell in 12 minutes. That's just insane.
TB | Jul 5, 2007 4:46:21 PM | #Remember Pearl!
And NEVER Forget!!!
Remember Pearl!...
And Never Forget!!!
RS | Jul 5, 2007 10:39:14 PM | #Nicely written Hanh. I enjoy your writing style.
Cheers!
Doug | Jul 6, 2007 2:04:48 AM | #raj, really? are people really starving to death in this country? I think you are referring to 3rd world countries and I think your humanitarian ire could have found a better target than the hot dog eating contest. Loosen up... or go protest something meaningful.
john | Jul 6, 2007 7:00:29 AM | #John: Yes, there are people dying of malnutrition in this country. Starving to death. Mostly children. Been watching FOX much?
jay | Jul 6, 2007 10:36:25 AM | #Raj, the announcers were just having fun. Something you need to learn a little about if a hot dog eating contest upsets you that much. I'm guessing you never threw away a piece of food in your life. I hope you packaged it up and sent it to someone who needs it.
? | Jul 8, 2007 9:12:01 PM | #ive been training for this for years
Crimefaction | Aug 2, 2007 8:43:56 AM | #
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