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'A Model Life' needs CPR
As an
initially reluctant but now brainwashed sheep of a fan of America’s Next Top
Model, I was interested to see what angle A Model Life was going to
come from. Was it going to be ANTM-lite
or a horse of a different color? Well, break out the hair dye 'cause this horse
is a-changing ... to a mousier shade of brown.
Spoilers
below. Be prepared for copious ANTM
comparisons.
The show
opens with a brief bio on Petra (life, career, tsunami survivor, humanitarian)
and lays out the shows manifesto over clips from upcoming episodes: which girl,
if any, has the stuff to get a modeling contract with NEXT.
The title
credits run with the requisite model names and pictures – Lucia, Abigail,
Valencia, Michelle, Beatrice and Angelika. I’m struck by how they all pretty
much look alike, at least in the pictures they chose to represent them.
After the
credits, we see Petra entering the NEXT office building to meet with
Co-President Joel Wilkenfeld to pick the last two girls for the show. I’m going
to go on record and say I get an unsavory vibe from Joel. I’m not sure why but
I do.
ANTM Difference #1: The Model Life
selection process was never explained so I don’t know how they got a hold of
candidates, but they seem to be picking just based on portfolios. While this is
more impersonal than ANTM, it’s also more indicative of the way modeling
actually works.
Cut to the
models arriving at the office. Bring on the introductions and lackluster
personal sound bites!
Angelika –
19, Los Angeles, USA – Didn’t want to model initially, despite “everybody”
telling her she should, because she believed it to be “so superficial” and
“bulls***.” I can already tell this one’s going to be a classy broad. Her
stepmother made her change her mind by saying it could be a platform to helping
others.
Beatrice –
16, Brazil – Started modeling at 14 and I would’ve pegged her for being at
least old enough to buy a lotto ticket. Always check a girl’s ID, fellas.
Lucia – 18,
Slovakia – Started modeling at the age of four (!). She’s got big eyes and has
a very late '60s vibe to her. Reminds me a bit of Twiggy. I think she may be my
favorite now.
Abigail – 16,
England – Hasn’t had much experience, in modeling nor in saying
anything interesting about herself.
Valeria – 17,
Australia – For some strange reason the music they play for her is reminiscent
of The People’s Court. Admits she’s a modeling novice and seems eager to
learn.
Michelle –
20, Florida, USA – She reminds me of a vampire. It’s the pointy canine teeth.
Plus, she’s rather pale. She got into modeling because people kept telling her
she should despite feeling that she doesn’t have “model looks.” Or perhaps
because her image may not appear in the photographs.
ANTM Difference #2: The age limit seems to
be 20, meaning someone’s going to have to break out the fake ID to score
liquor.
Petra and Joel meet with the girls and tell them that they’ll be doing a test
shoot for their books and then be sent off to book gigs. To help them do that
will be New Faces Agents Tammy Francis and Stephen Lee. I can’t quite place
Stephen’s accent, which means he’s either British, Australian or South African.
Why do I care? Because it’s one of the few things piquing my interest at this
point. Tammy tells the Models-In-Training to call if they’re going to be late
for anything and also feel free to call if they need to talk. She says they’re
easy to talk to, something I don’t get from Stephen but this could be because
they’re playing Good Cop/Bad Cop. This is also where ANTM Difference #3
comes in: the MITs get a per diem for expenses and must get a subway card to
help them get around the city.
They get
taken to the roof for test shots and Michelle gets called out by Tammy to talk
about her hair. Tammy and Agent Assistant/Pretty Boy Rudy Mance break the news
that she’s going to have to cut her hair shorter. Michelle bares her fangs. I
mean, smiles a bit apprehensively at this but agrees.
Stephen comes
to address the girls before they leave, though Angelika seems to think finishing
up her cell phone call is more important than listening to him. Bad move. She
gets verbally tapped for it, lightly with enough hint of menace to
make sure she watches herself from now on.
The MITs go
to their giant hotel room. There are five beds and six girls. Lucia, for some
strange reason, momentarily loses the ability to count and thinks there are
seven of them. Michelle and Abigail correct her. Single tear. Angelika calls
dibs on a bed that’s away from everyone and sits down to text someone on her
cell phone. Lucia notes in a one-on-one interview that Angelika seems to be
distancing herself from everyone. Cut to Angelika spewing some crap about
everyone being individuals or something to justify being a shrew. She’s quickly
become my least favorite.
ANTM Difference #4: The girls are allowed
to keep their cell phones, thereby having contact with their families and the
outside world.
Petra stops
by and gets her Mama Hen on, telling the girls to confide in her when they need
to and to meet up with her the next day. I like her. She seems really cool. I
want to give her a hug and make her tea and finger sandwiches.
After Petra’s
exit, Michelle expresses concerns about getting her hair chopped off. Which is a big whatever since it’s already
short. Angelika says she wouldn’t do something the agency says because they’re
not the bosses of her. Abigail and Michelle assert that they just want the MITs
to get jobs. Angelika replies, “The big models didn’t succeed by bending over.”
Insert joke here. The exchange goes on a bit more and ends on Angelika stating
Michelle should tell them to do something not very nice to themselves. Classy.
The next
morning, the girls call Good Cop Tammy and are told all they have to do is meet
up with Petra as planned. Michelle is also given the when and where of her
dreaded haircut. The MITs meet Petra at a photo shoot she’s doing with some
firefighters, none of which are super hot or shirtless. Disappointing. The
shoot is for a charity coffee table book Petra is doing. She is so outshining
all the MITs just by standing there. The girls are then instructed to bring a
dish that represents their company to a potluck at Petra’s place. Try saying
that five times fast. The only two interesting things about the potluck are we
find out that Angelika is a vegan hippie and that Abigail knows how to play
five instruments including the flugelhorn. Oh, and Michelle the Daywalker likes
her haircut.
ANTM Difference #5: Instead of “TyraMail”
we get “NEXT-Faxes.” I’ll be trademarking that later so back off.
Now comes
photo shoot day. Hooray for something potentially interesting! A NEXT-Fax comes
in for Valeria to go to a magazine casting. The other MITs are a bit
jealous. While she is off to the
magazine’s office, Michelle the Daywalker is the first to shoot. Valeria gets a
bit lost on the subway but smartly hops in a cab and calls Good Cop Tammy to
alert her of the trouble. When Michelle arrives at the photo shoot location,
she is told the actual studio is two lefts and at least a block away.
Michelle
arrives at the right place and meets Pavel Havelicek the Photographer, Makeup
Artist Karl Giant and Hair Stylist Andre Davis. All the girls will be wearing
the same three outfits and our dear little Daywalker does very well.
Meanwhile,
poor Beatrice can’t quite seem to find the studio. She went into two wrong
buildings, had to go back and ask the receptionists for the address again,
and asked three passersby before finding the place. On top of that, her shoot
didn’t go so well.
Pavel digs Angelika
and she has a good shoot. Everything that comes out of her mouth sounds
obnoxious. Valeria’s shoot is decent but nothing to whoop about. Lucia gives
Karl the first, and presumed only, double-kiss of the day. She rocks out her
shoot despite feeling a bit uncomfortable with showing her legs. Not sure why
that is.
Abigail loses
focus on the last outfit because she doesn’t feel comfortable in it. She states
that she wants to ask Petra how “If you don’t like an outfit… how do you make
yourself like it.” Also, her favorite
actor is Sean William Scott. Huh?
Bad Cop
Stephen and Agnes Ponarska, another New Faces Agent and Worst Cop, meet Pavel
the next day to go over the pictures. Michelle’s get good marks. Bad Cop
Stephen calls her “elegantly awkward.” Beatrice gets a bad report card because
she couldn’t relax. Angelika’s are well received. They say she has a different,
modern look, which I kind of don’t get because she doesn’t seem much different
than Abigail to me. Pavel loves Valeria but Bad Cop calls her round. Pavel
slaps that down and Stephen counters by saying she's a bit safe and not animated
enough. Lucia was an inspiration to Pavel. Bad Cop Stephen says she’s a little
“pear-shaped.” He can go suck it. Finally, Abigail is called out for being a bit
one-dimensional. Pavel reveals she tensed up in the last outfit. It’s decided
that Abigail, Valeria and Beatrice will be called in the next morning to talk.
ANTM Difference #6: Other than a lecture,
whether there are any consequences to a bad photo shoot is unknown.
Abigail,
Valeria and Beatrice go in separately to meet with Bad Cop Stephen and Worst
Cop Agnes and get their notes. They are surprisingly nice to the MITs and give
them useful tips. The girls take it well. And here I thought something bad was
going to…
Hold that
thought. As the girls get in the elevator to leave, Worst Cop Agnes follows and
has a side conversation with Beatrice. Apparently, Worst Cop feels that
Beatrice is a bit too hippy for Fashion Week and needs to lose some weight. And
here I thought they weren’t going to say something awful to her.
Next Week – A
personal trainer works with the girls and shows disdain for the pressure they
get to lose weight, Abigail is too weak to hold a pose and the first tears of
the season are shed. This had better not be boring.
What did you
guys think? Were you bored too? Did the repetitive music lull you into a zombie
state? Do you dislike Angelika so far, like me? Will Michelle drink someone’s
blood before the last episode?
I'm interested to see if anyone will suspect Michelle once girls start disappearing from the show. When they say "eliminated" does it mean sent home or drained of all life force? Things that make you go...hmmm.
TMC | Jul 14, 2007 6:36:16 PM | #Angelika was truly hostile and bitchy. She reminds me of an angry free rights lesbian.
I think Valeria is my favorite, she's got this great face. Your favorite, Lucia, is really gorgeous. Beatrice is a bore to me, and her looks are average. She's not 'animated' enough. I totally agree that Michelle's teeth are freakishly vampirish. Her haircut made her look even more vampirish, especially when they put dark makeup on her.
omg! i loved angelika! shes pretty. and you cant say you dont like her by jsut watching one episode. and lucia would be my 2 fav
justine | Jul 15, 2007 2:20:15 AM | #omg! i loved angelika! shes pretty. and you cant say you dont like her by jsut watching one episode. and lucia would be my 2 fav
justine | Jul 15, 2007 2:20:18 AM | #TMC - I think Michelle will start snacking on crew members first...or perhaps put one in her thrall in order to dine on unsuspecting New Yorkers undetected.
Honestly, with all the Daywalker jokes, I do like Michelle. I think she has a lot of potential and seems to have a good attitude about the whole thing thus far.
Nicole - You probably find Beatrice to be a bit boring because she's only 16 and either hasn't quite developed a personality yet or is still too taken aback by the situation to feel comfortable. She may pick it up as the episodes go on.
Justine - Angelika takes great pictures, no doubt. But I have every right to say I don't like her because, well, I don't and that's the truth. I'm sure she's quite lovely in real life and I may even come to change my mind about her, but so far the character that's coming out on the show is not one that I find enjoyable.
Tamara B. | Jul 15, 2007 5:20:29 PM | #i love the reporter. great writing. great perspective. i love the comparison or noncomparison to antm.
miss janice | Jul 17, 2007 2:47:13 PM | #I agree with you. Lucia is my favorite so far too! It does have a slow start to it... but it could get interesting... I hope! There's nothing to watch on t.v. Anyway, I enjoyed your humor and point of view! I look forward to next blog!
PG | Jul 17, 2007 5:26:46 PM | #Lucia is my favorite and I'm not just saying that because my family is from Slovakia. But damn, we make some beautiful lookin' girls! ;)
Diana | Jul 19, 2007 9:31:28 PM | #I didn't think it was boring at all. I wouldn't really compare the two shows because they're so different. Their only commonality is the modeling aspect--which I know is a pretty narrow subject... but ANTM is a typical competition show with the "entertainment" factor, and A Model Life has a more realistic perspective on the fashion industry--which I think makes it more interesting especially for fashion lovers like me. I LOVE Abigail. She's such a sweetheart, and Lucia has wonderful eyes. I just wish Abigail would give more because she's so cute. Michelle's teeth bother me, too. I felt bad for her when that trainer was criticizing her about her weight--it was really wrong of him to pick on her and make those assumptions. I'm the same way as her--my BMI is about 17.3, but I do eat.
Eggie | Jul 21, 2007 12:28:13 AM | #I absolutely despise Angelika so far. Her personality is incredibly cliche and she acts as if she is better than everyone else on the show. She is a typical "hippy" chick from california who thinks eating tofu and wearing floppy hats makes her more unique than any other girl. I can't stand her. I really needed to get that off my chest, but besides that I agree with Diana about the fashion aspect of this show. Also, I think Lucia is wonderful and I really hope she doesn't go overboard trying to lose her "pear shape."
Amanda | Jul 22, 2007 11:45:00 AM | #Angelika Rocks. She sees through the modeling game,has some experience obviously. A model with brains and class!!! We love it!
zuma | Jul 24, 2007 9:18:57 PM | #Angelika is Awesome, she's honest, no candy coating on that chick & she's totally Beautiful & totally pro.I noticed right away that she worked flawlessly with all the other pro's in the biz. This kind of model gives modeling a good name, not the kind that gets lost across the street from a casting!
Maui Girl | Jul 25, 2007 9:11:07 PM | #Angelika is just being herself, she's natural & not phoney or putting on an act. More power to her & I hope she goes way past her critics!
Eduardo Reyes | Jul 25, 2007 9:15:29 PM | #I actually use to know angelika and shes my age. what the hell is she doing saying shes 19? i guess she doesnt want everyone to find out she alreay washed up. in the industry 25 is way late.
wierdness | Jul 26, 2007 5:21:40 PM | #I know Angelika too, Im her sister, she's 19 last time I checked, so get a life. Weirdness is being nice, your more like retarded
Princess | Jul 26, 2007 11:57:57 PM | #I like this show.
Dani | Jul 28, 2007 12:46:09 AM | #Angelika seems like a total snob.
g.r. | Jul 28, 2007 10:21:49 PM | #oh youre her sister huh? whats your name then? full of it. i dont give a shit what you think. i just hate people being misled. believe what you will.
wierdness | Jul 30, 2007 12:49:26 PM | #My favorites so far would be beatrice and lucia. Beatrice is soo pretty, which is typical of a Brazilian girl. Even though she may be a bit withdrawn i think her beauty really radiates in her shots. Lucia seems like a nice person with the prettiest face. I think her body is fine, too bad about what they said. I also dislike Angelika. She just thinks she knows everything!
irene | Jul 30, 2007 8:41:31 PM | #Angelika defended our little brother & I our whole lives from our stupid mother who should have been arrested for abusing all of us since we were old enough to remember. I love my sister, she took on allot her whole life & helped us all grow up the best she could. So thats what I believe.
Princess | Jul 31, 2007 3:04:59 PM | #Angelika clearly has emotional problems. It's obvious from the way she was arguing with the Next rep. when he told her to leave that she was not grounded in reality, and I found it to be quite sad. Lucia is phenomenally gorgeous with a knock-out figure and an adorable personality. She is clearly going to be a successful model regardless of who "wins" this.
Dee | Aug 3, 2007 11:49:30 PM | #It seems that there are some reasons posted here which would explain at least a little about Angelika. I still like the fact that she's real & isn't kissing any ones butt. I also like Michelle, I bet if she grew her natural hair out to her mid back, she wouls look really cute. She cut it off because it's really curly, I bet it's awesome!
Maui Girl | Aug 4, 2007 12:44:30 AM | #I like this show. It seems more realistic then Americas Next Top Model. What comes to the girls, Angelika is pretty yes, but she has an awful attitude that people in professional world just wont put up with. She basicly ruins her chances on her own without any competition needed. The other girls are fine but not very special. They are pretty but not outstanding or different. Lucia is different. Very versatile, beautiful and professional. Not stuck up but down to earth. I can see why, she is from Slovakia. People are friendly there and what comes to girls - just beautiful!!!
I know that, I am from Slovakia!
They should kick Angelika out of the show - she clearly does not deserve it!!
Adriana | Aug 4, 2007 9:45:03 AM | #I meant - she does not deserve to be on the show!
Adriana | Aug 4, 2007 9:46:19 AM | #
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