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'Age of Love': Why, Mark? Why?
Age of Love, NBC's "great social experiment," is essentially a giant forum which perpetuates stereotypes of older and younger women under the guise of shattering those stereotypes. It is complete and total trash, and my heart goes out to every 40something contestant involved in this humiliating exercise. Okay, now that I've been a responsible feminist and gotten that out of the way, we can get to the dirt.
The show features Mark Philippoussis, an Australian tennis player and total hottie. (Yeah, FYI, I'm an enormous tennis fan and have had a crush on Mark Philippoussis since, like, forever. He's even cuter in person, in case you were wondering.) His tennis career peaked in the late 90's before being hampered by injury. He made a comeback back in 2003, but hasn't really been in the picture in the past couple seasons aside from a couple wildcard entries and early losses, contrary to the show's claim that he's "at the prime of his career." NBC has it right that he's a playah with the ladies, though--he supposedly cheated on his girlfriend with Paris Hilton! All of that said, I'd still claw any of these chicks' eyes out for a chance with Mark. The accent! The body! The great seats at tennis tournaments! Sure, people might mock our 1-foot-plus height difference, but Mark and I would just laugh it off. ...Ahem. Anyway. According to NBC, Mark "has everything...except someone to share his life with." (And two working knees and an active tennis career.) Apparently, Mark is looking for his future wife--the mother of his children. Riiight.
And now, we meet the contestants in their 40's. Ranging from 39 (heeey, waitaminute!) to 48, and with varying levels of plastic surgery, the ladies are all relieved that there are no "teenyboppers" present. The interviews are somewhat horrifying. Every single one is like, "I'm successful, happy, awesome in every way, and I love my life, but...OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE CHILDLESS AND ALONE! MY OVARIES ARE DRYING UP AS WE SPEAK! HEEELP MEEE!!!" The stench of desperation, it is pungent.
Mark says he's always dated younger women. In fact, the last woman he dated was ten years younger than he is. So if he's thirty, and didn't just break up with her...the last woman he dated was a teenager? Right. Moving on. As the show repeatedly emphasizes, Mark would prefer "younger women in their 20's." I smell trouble! Or is that just the stench of desperation still lingering in the air?
One-by-one, on a romantic...rooftop at night...the women introduce themselves to Mark. Lynn, a 40-year-old makeup artist, is pretty cute. Mark seems a little thrown when she tells him she's 40. God, this is going to be painful. Kelli, a legal assistant, is also 40, and at least brings up the term "biological clock" in an interview in the context of hating it. Still, somehow I don't think that's the last we're going to hear of biological clocks. Jayanna, a 39-year-old mortgage officer, seems very nice. Jodie, a 46-year-old VP, looks way younger than her age, and Mark is very gracious and sweet about it. However, he's beginning to see a pattern.
Maria, a 42-year-old photographer, points out the stigma of an older woman dating a younger guy, and says "if the men can do it, I'm gonna do it." Right on, Maria. Angela's up next, a 40-year-old property manager. She married young, and is now divorced. She looks really young and sweet—more natural than some of the others. Mark is totally sweating. Jennifer, an assistant to the Lakers’ owner, asks Mark to guess her age. DANGER! DANGER!!! After an uncomfortable few moments of hemming and hawing, Mark guesses 37…too young, Mark! Keep it believable. Jennifer is 48. And has been under the knife a little, I’d imagine. She asks if he’d like to date an older woman, and he reflexively says yes as his eyes widen, his eyebrows raise, and beads of sweat practically drip down his forehead. Poor guy. This is how god punishes playahs and Paris Hilton-doers.
Mark sits down with the girls next to a fire…on the roof…and admits to them that they weren’t quite what he was expecting. He looks incredibly uncomfortable as they unsuccessfully try to put him at ease. He sits down for one-on-ones (and sometimes one-on-twos) with some of the women. Some have been married, some have kids—Angela has been married twice, and has a 21-year-old son. Kelli is pretty sure that she’s got the upper hand here, and repeats the bit about Angela’s grown child in the guise of a compliment ("She SO doesn't look young enough to have a 21-year-old!"), just to rub it in. Yeah, now that hottie’s in sight, there’s a little less camaraderie. Funny how that works. Kelli isn’t happy to be sharing “the guy [she’s] supposed to be dating.” Um, yeah...does she not understand how these dating shows work? Because she may be in for a bit of a disappointment if she thinks it supposed to be all "Kelli and Mark going on a picnic!" "Kelli and Mark taking a walk on the beach!" "Kelli and Mark eating dinner by candlelight!"
Mark says he's starting to think seriously about dating an older woman (albeit one that looks like a plastic version of a younger woman, if these are the choices) as he gets to know the contestants. He specifically mentions clicking with Maria. By the end of the interview, he calls age “a number,” and is looking forward to getting to know the women better. But then, um, other Mark (Could we not find a host with a different name from the contestant, NBC?) comes in and spoils the fun—apparently not all the women will get to go on a date with Mark before the first elimination. Gasp! Horrified faces all around! Well, they would be horrified if they weren’t all so botoxed, anyway.
Mark and Mark sit down for a one-on-one. Host Mark tells Mark that he’ll find out on the first date which women can keep up with him, before having to eliminate one of them. Mark calls for Jayanna, and invites she, Lynn, and Maria out on a date. He throws out a bunch of phony reasons why he picked each of them in his interview, but they’re clearly the youngest-looking of the bunch. Mark is looking for someone adventurous, and what better way to determine that than a date in which they…rappel down the side of a building? O...kay. I though they were going to be sky diving or something. However, this is going to be particularly rough on Jayanna, who is afraid of heights.
Meanwhile, the slut-copter is making its way to the house, and is filled with shrieking, egotistical, mean, scantily-clad 20-somethings. As a fellow 20-something female, I feel my kind is not being well-represented.
Back to the rappelling. The 40-somethings seem pretty nervous. It actually looks like mad fun to me, but I guess that’s why I’m a 20-something, right? Maria has a good time with it while Jayanna watches on, looking like she’s about to puke. Lynn is a bit of a scaredy cat about it, but nothing like Jayanna, who is panicking. You know, if she doesn’t take it too far, this could work in her favor—the whole “brave but vulnerable angle,” overcoming obstacles because she wants him sooo bad. She ends up having a good time with it, and (as predicted) Mark is impressed. In the end, he’s impressed with all of them, and he’s learned “not to judge a book by its cover.” He says that age has been “thrown out the window.” Cut to…
The 20somethings hula-hooping in bikinis at their new digs. Well, no one can say this show doesn’t accurately represent the two age groups. I was just doing some bikini hula-hooping this very evening, right before my naked trampolining. And cut to… The 40somethings cleaning and doing needlepoint. Jesus H. Christ. As an added detail, the 20something apartment is trendy and colorful, while the 40something apartment is pretty much entirely white and pale blue. Subtlety, thy name is NBC.
Mark and the women prepare for the first elimination. Mark calls the 40something digs, and asks to see Angela, Lynn, Jodie, and Jayanna. He’s really nice about the age thing when they all get up on the roof, admitting that it threw him for a loop, but saying they made him feel so comfortable that it’s “completely out of [his] mind.” He talks to Angela first (who is wearing a dress that’s shorter than I would feel comfortable in, by the way, which I feel only emphasizes that she's a 40-year-old trying to look 18), saying that she seemed a bit shy the night before. However, he asks her to stay. Lynn’s on the chopping block next, and Mark asks about a heart necklace she was wearing during the date. O..kay. He also asks her to stay. He talks to Jodie next, and says that while he really enjoyed their one-on-one conversation, he’s feeling more of a friend vibe with her. Ouch. She gets the cut. Now her dress, I love. He still calls Jayanna up in order to tell her that she blew him away on their date, and asks her to stay. Jayanna may be an evil master of dating show strategy. I picture her in the basement, feverishly watching The Bachelor on DVD while bathing in collagen-firming cream and stem cells.
Mark repeats that he doesn’t care anymore that the contestants are in their forties, and have ovaries that are desiccating by the minute. Thanks, NBC! The twist would have really lost its impact without that last anvil. Then, just before the end of the episode, Host Mark shows up to break the news that (Dun dun DUUUUNNN) …there are young, hot babes in the house! Next week: The 40somethings react to their young, hot competition.
For more TV recaps and commentary, visit Glowy Box.
Is anybody watching this? I mean, is anybody REALLY watching this? Ohmygod. One further sign that the apocolypse must surely be upon us.
righteousdude | Jun 19, 2007 4:55:31 AM | #This is just the Bachelor with a twist. I don't think it will do well, especially since we know he'll never take marrying a 40ish woman seriously. With a younger woman he could wait a few years before even considering marriage. And it may already be too late for many of the women to bear children of their own. Then he's got to consider what they will be like in ten or twenty years. He's only about 30 or 31. Right now he still thinks of himself as young and wants to have some fun.
Personally, I would prefer a woman around their forties than their twenties, but that's because I'm around that age. But there are different things to be considered with a middle-age relationship than with a young relationship and there are certain biological facts that will always make the twenty-somethings sexier.
Pat McNamara | Jun 19, 2007 5:47:35 AM | #It's just a new spin on the Average Joe formula. That was an emotionally cruel show, and this is an emotionally cruel show. I won't be watching.
JT | Jun 19, 2007 6:13:43 AM | #I like the show it's funny. I cannot wait until next week.
Luckysaiyan | Jun 19, 2007 7:18:06 AM | #The show is good, watching him squirm and the women trying to hit on him all desperate. It's entertainment and I for one was very entertained and I laughed so hard.
Luckysaiyan | Jun 19, 2007 7:19:35 AM | #I watched this on and off for about 30 mins. TOO much Botox and facial surgery for me and the 20's were total airheads.
I'll pass.
Anyone feel like this show makes NBC look like Fox?
I think NBC has missed out that ridiculous shows such as The Bachelor and Survivor at least need some sort of normality and be somewhat believable to sustain its short lifespan.
However, great commentary... I feel like I will be having more fun reading the commentary than actually be attuned to the show.
Gary | Jun 19, 2007 10:00:43 AM | #I will probably never watch this show but this commentary was one of the funniest things I have read in a long time! Great job!
Kevo | Jun 19, 2007 12:12:06 PM | #I actually thought Liz was much funnier than the show!
I think the 40-somethings seem a hell of a lot realer than the 20-somethings, even with the Botox. And when the last one called dating in their 40's sad and pathetic, I wanted to smack her - may she get married next week, have 3 kids, get divorced and be dating in her 40's!
I am a 30-something cheering on the 40-somethings! Way better dressed and way more class!!
Michelle | Jun 19, 2007 2:04:07 PM | #I have to agree that the contestants reek of desperation...ALL reality dating-show contestants reek of desperation, either for love, kids or attention....but your constant comments that they've all obviously been botoxed/collagened/put under the knife assumes that women over 40 are supposed to look like dried up hags. How about the effects of healthy living, eating right, taking care of yourself? Not to mention good genes...I've been blessed with those (you should see my 84-year-old mom!) and still get carded at 44, and objectively look barely over 30. (My 31-year-old hubby would agree.) So give these women a break on their looks at least, and consider that some of them may actually look that good without surgery.
Lena | Jun 19, 2007 2:10:24 PM | #Kudos to the last comment by Lena. I'm 39 and still get carded. I'm constantly being hit on by younger men and older men too (the youngest being 21)and they all think I'm in my early 20's. I never lie about my age and I have never had any kind of plastic surgery. I've never even dyed my hair, and my perky C-cup boobs don't sag (neither does anything else). Along with good healthy living I thank God for blessing me with great genetics. I got married in my 20's, had two kids, and in my 30's realized I could do way better (what was I thinking being so young & naive) so I got divorced, had some fun dating younger & older men, and my current boyfriend is 27 years old, that makes him 12 years younger than me for those who can't subtract. I didn't ever think I would date someone that much younger than me but we have more in common than anyone else I've dated including my ex-husband, and we are also very much in love. So, we all know that age doesn't really matter, unless you happen to be shallow and superficial, and those people aren't very interesting anyway. I think that all of the contestants in their twenties would or already have dated someone at least ten years older or more. When I was 21 I dated a guy who was 40. No one seemed to care about that.
Lena and Bunny, please forward your applications to NBC. :P Gotta love comments that talk more about themselves than the actual subject.
This show is hilarious, as is Liz's recap. The hula-hooping in bikinis sold it for me. Did the director even keep a straight face when instructing the 20-year-olds to start hula-hooping?
I hope the remaining eps are as unintentionally hilarious as the first one.
Bob | Jun 19, 2007 4:51:10 PM | #Desperation? Yes, I think everyone on any of the dating shows has a measure of desperation. As a late 50-something myself, I find the 40-somethings MUCH more attractive than the 20-somethings. I suspect he will not choose a 40-something though. The May-December kind of thing does not work out very often. Susan Sarandon and Demi Moore are exceptions. I was in a relationship a while back with a woman half my age, and we just didn't have enough in common, though my ego was stoked by her attention... I am curious how this will play out, so I guess I'll watch again next week, but from tape instead of real time so I can skip the boring parts...
rowlfe | Jun 19, 2007 8:23:21 PM | #I didn't see the botox and surgery. I saw some fantastic 40s women who are much more emotionally and psychologically able to give me (a man in his 30s) everything that a fickle and emotionally immature woman can't. I'd much rather date stability than date someone who boasts that she 'thinks' she looks better in a bikini.
Joe | Jun 20, 2007 3:24:51 AM | #Yay, Joe!
Lena | Jun 20, 2007 8:47:03 PM | #We saw the clips in Australia - in a "what the heck is Mark doing now" in the USA report. It looks so bad that it goes beyond bad to be Good! We wont get it for a few months, so I'll have to YouTube it instead or wait!
LIZ YOUR ARTICLE IS GREAT!
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im 30 and would prefer the 40 year olds to the 20 year olds here ... they seem more down to earth , and real .... the blondy kelli i think is beautiful too ....
young gun | Jun 27, 2007 12:44:53 PM | #I thought it was pathetic the 20 year olds making fun of the 40 year olds by saying tummy tucks when they were no different with there fake boobs.....
fitnfun | Jun 28, 2007 2:44:31 PM | #I love the dress Jayanna wore at the 2nd elimination. Who designed it?
Brooke | Jul 2, 2007 7:14:40 PM | #Jayanna,
she is truly the hottest one on the show. Do anyone of the other girls and women even have a personality that compares? I think she is also by far the most contraversial, even if she is most likely talking some shit. Lets have a vote on who thinks she should host a great show or even host her own show!! You know that there will always be something histerical coming out of that mouth!!!!!!!!!!!!
No one is Australia is watching it.
We are too embarrassed....
Aussie Oi! Oi! Oi! | Jul 27, 2007 12:07:30 AM | #This show was addicting, but at the same time you sat there thinking "This is ridiculous." First of all, I think a better candidate would have been a 35 year old divorcee, possibly who already has kids. This would have definitely lessened the "age factor" and made it more fair.
Lala | Aug 7, 2007 9:24:20 PM | #Poor Ladies, Philippoussis strolling around and deciding who to throw on the scrapheap. And similar to what righteousdude said above, just one more sign that the world is losing its grip.
RedLeeroy | Nov 8, 2007 4:06:24 AM | #Wonder if they've split up yet?
Rich | Apr 6, 2008 7:19:21 AM | #
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