'American Idol' Recap 05/01: Paying tribute to the legacy of Bon Jovi

After spending three hours last week earning roughly $70 million for charity, American Idol is sufficiently over its altruism that Ryan Seacrest can start Tuesday (May 1) night's show by referring to the judges as "our three needy children."

The Top Six are "celebrating the music of Bon Jovi," which seems too restrictive to me. Couldn't we have just dedicated a night to '80s Hair Metal? Let's face it, RATT is never going to have a full night to itself and if you think anybody's ever going to sing "Cherry Pie" for another theme, you're fooling yourself. But fine, let's pay tribute to Moonlight and Valentino star and Arena Football League icon Jon Bon Jovi.

The night's performances:

Singer: Phil Stacey
Song: "Blaze of Glory"
My Take: Phil says he's been practicing this Young Guns hit in the mirror for 15 years and what he delivers is exactly the kind of enthusiastic shtick you do in the mirror. He has to launch his performance walking by one girl with a "Jordin!" sign and another clutching a picture of Blake. There's too much business to Phil's performance -- he's strutting, point at the camera, bumping fists with Randy. Until he gets onto the stage, he's most drowned out by the band and unnecessarily backing vocals. I'd have taken a "less is more" approach with both the arrangement and performance. Once he's center stage, Phil becomes more animated and passionate, saluting to his wife and her uniformed escort.
Goneril, Regan and Simon Say: Randy's happy for Phil for many reasons, not the least of which being that he helped record the song. He says it's Phil's best besides Country Night. Paula raves that Phil was living his inner kid and that it was the season's best opening. Simon thought it was OK, earning audience boos. He criticizes Phil for overacting and says he hasn't done enough to last. Phil salutes both the judges and viewers at home.

Singer: Jordin Sparks
Song: "Livin' on a Prayer"
My Take: How sweet was it of Ryan to walk up to Gina Glocksen in the audience, commenting about how missing this rockin' week must be killing her? And how sad is it that the visit with the season's lone semi-rocker comes seconds before newly crowned favorite Jordin has her first total flop in weeks? Workin' the big Rock Video Girl hair, Jordin's song isn't a good pick for her voice. As warned in the pre-song clips, the track is simply too low for Jordin and she mumbles through the verses. Also, whoever choreographed her to be penned in-between two anonymous guitarists should be fired. She looks and feels contained, but not in a fun cage-dancing way. Finally at the end Jordin steps away from the guitarists and it isn't surprising that suddenly she sounds better.
Goneril, Regan and Simon Say: Randy thought the verses were rough. Jordin can only nod and smile. This is one of those awful situations where she must have known she was dead before hitting the stage. Paula thinks Jordin's problem was that she had to workshop it with a hot guy. Simon invites the boos by saying Jordin's look was "like something out of The Addams Family" and finally declares that the vocals were shrieky and terrible. Ryan makes a Munsters joke. Dude, they're totally different shows.

Singer:LaKisha Jones
Song: "This Ain't a Love Song"
My Take: If Jordin has become this week's poster girl for poor song selection, LaKisha comes off as an utter genius, particularly since no singer worried me as much this week. It's another song that starts a bit too low, but it becomes bluesy and soulful almost immediately. Finally it's the perfect medium for the misapplied belting she's done the past two weeks and after seemingly losing that inner fire, there's a spark in LaKisha's eyes tonight. I'm not sure I endorse the deep knee bends in those tight black pants, but after two so-so opening performances, the night can finally begin.
Goneril, Regan and Simon Say: Randy thought she was pitchy at first, but that by the end she "blew it out da box." Paula suggest LaKisha gave everybody a little somethin'-somethin'. Simon goes so far as to suggest he could actually kiss her. And, true to her word, he does. It's either a cute moment or a woefully inappropriate moment (i.e. How queasy would we get if Paula asks Blake to make out with her?).

Singer: Blake Lewis
Song: "You Give Love a Bad Name"
My Take: The song opens with Blake miming cuing up a record. Accompanied only by one guy on a drum kit, Blake's version of the song is truly bizarre, complete with the long-absent vocal turntablism, unmotivated falsetto and an extended period of dancing The Robot. I hate to say this, but for this week in particular, the silliness is marvelous. I can think of few things more pathetic than treating this '80s chestnut as some sort of sacrosanct, untouchable masterpiece and if you're going to go crazy with it, better to go utterly bat-guano nuts. Blake'll probably be back to his Coldplay-izing week, but for this second, I'm in the Blake House.
Goneril, Regan and Simon Say: Randy gives him an award for originality, raving that Blake's leap of faith was rewarded. Paula gushes incoherently, but she loved it as well. Simon thinks Blake will have split the audience between people who loved it and people who hated it and that taking such a massive risk will keep him in the competition.

Singer: Chris Richardson
Song: "Wanted Dead or Alive"
My Take: "Wanted Dead or Alive" wasn't Chris Daughtry's best performance last season, so New Chris can't be blamed for trying it out and I'm not going to bother with a comparison. Chris takes the traditional Idol rocker stance, which includes a refusal to take the mic off the stand. In an effort to enhance his macho bona fides, he adds extra-squint this week and  shows how hard-edged he can be with a new raspy tone that both hurts my throat and masks the inevitable nasal edge to his voice. Vocals aside (and he's the weakest in the competition at this point), this isn't a song that Chris Richardson can sell in the way Chris Daughtry could. The absence of either authenticity or originality probably harms him, but Chris R. is far from unlistenable.
Goneril, Regan and Simon Say: Randy thinks Chris made it his own and that he gave it his own R&B twist. Simon thinks Chris did as much as he could with the song, though he's unsure if it'll be enough for him to stay another week.

Singer: Melinda Doolittle
Song: "Have a Nice Day"
My Take:  It was sweet of Melinda not to be offended by Jon urging her to "take it to church." How did Melinda get the pimp slot? Oh yeah. Because she's good. One thing I keep saying, over and over, is that Melinda's ability to perform with the band is unparalleled, doubtlessly the product of her years in the background. She never lets the supporting vocalists or musicians overwhelm her, nor does she try to overpower them. She recognizes that it's all part of the performance. Also, despite prowling the stage start to finish, Melinda's never out of tune and never out of breath. If I were to dig up a negative, I'd say that parts here were more growled than sung, but if Melinda did it, I assume she meant to. The judges have compared her to Tina Turner in the past and if we could get that duet at this season's finale, it would be just about the most fantastic thing ever.
Goneril, Regan and Simon Say: Randy doesn't know if it was her best, but he makes the Tina comparison, saying it was still great and hot. Paula asks Melinda how she felt being a rock star? Simon echoes Randy's  young Tina claim.

TONIGHT'S BEST: Melinda gets the vocal prize. Melinda gets the vocal prize every week. Blake gets a special prize for audacity. And LaKisha gets a nod for coming back strong.

IN DANGER: This is a tough one. Jordin gave the night's worst performance by a wide margin, but it would be a major shame to see her go. I'd have pegged LaKisha for elimination ahead of time, but she was good tonight. I was sick of Blake after last week, but I'm satisfied to keep him around. That leaves Phil and Chris, who are probably the correct Bottom Two talent-wise anyway.

Agree? Disagree? Who do you think is going home?

And check out all of Zap2it's Season Six American Idol Coverage.