It's a sausage-fest on 'Amazing Race: All-Stars'
The first 90 minutes of Sunday (April 1) night's two-hour Amazing Race: All-Stars were a pretty grueling combination of missed flight connections, tone-deaf piano tuning and the rare break in the game for quiet reflection (at Auschwitz-Birkenau). It was intense, but not necessarily pleasant, per se.
The final 30 minutes? Probably the funniest thing I can expect to see on TV all week, if not all month. Packed into a limited time, Amazing Race managed to deliver a fantastic eating-based Detour, as well as a Road Block that devolved into watching wee Charla get dragged around a country road by a horse while wearing a suit of armor and falling on her face repeatedly. Incidentally, it's not that I find dwarves in armor falling down to be consistently hilarious. No. That would make me prejudiced (or perhaps Terry Gilliam). I do, however, find Charla Faddoul falling down in a suit of armor to be consistently hilarious. If that makes me a bad person, then I'll just have to live with that.
But what cold-hearted person couldn't see the humor of a sausage eating contest in which the cocky Alpha Male Frat Boy (Eric) managed to get out-stuffed by a gay couple he'd previously called a pair of queens (The Guidos), two beauty queens (Dustin and Kandice) and one Mirna. I guess Eric deserves credit for beating Charla, but in another inspired comedy bit, Charla wasted quality eating time (and tasty sausage) jamming a knife down her throat to induce vomiting, complete with gory sound accompaniment and intercut scenes of all of the other players covering their ears and wincing. Throw in a slew of Charla and Mirna comments that, in the sausage-based context, I've decided to reinterpret as double-entendre, and you had enough mirth to salvage an otherwise heavy episode.
If you're one of those Amazing Race viewers who can't stomach eating challenges and couldn't find the funny in Charla becoming the worst Weeble-Wobble ever, the episode had ample travel-bases annoyances. Who knew that officials at the Kilimanjaro airport won't hold connecting flights for four ticketed passengers? File that one away for future reference. Who could have guessed that the Beauty Queens would see an early lead dwindle from two hours ahead of everybody, to a three-way tie to a deep deficit due to a variety of in-game contrivances and an ill-timed Intersection? That kind of stuff irks me. Who could have guessed that Mirna wouldn't be able to take the parking break off her car without assistance? Well, I could have guessed on the last one, but the other two are just signs of fickle fate.
As for the rest of the two-hour block, it was actually two episodes. In the first, Eric and Danielle beat the Guidos to the finish line, but they were spared by the second non-elimination leg in three weeks (everybody gets a second chance but Romber). In the second episode, the Guidos actually narrowly made it to the mat first, but due to their 30-minute Marked For Elimination penalty, they were eliminated.
Highlights from the episode:
When it comes to the Beauty Queens, I've always been a Kandice man. No longer. Dustin had one of the all-time great episodes for a Racer. I loved her initial excitement about seeing a Chopin impersonator in Warsaw ("We're going to get to see Chopin play piano!" "For real?!?!?" "Well, he's dead.") and the comparison between seeing this Faux-pin (Get it?) and visiting Santa. Then she was the only contestant who seemed even vaguely capable at the piano tuning challenge. And finally at the sausage-eating challenge she delivered a funny opening prayer and then ate her sausage with great gusto, waiting until the end to vorf. Even in that gross moment, she provided an opening for the first inoffensive and funny thing Eric has said all season, when he announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, Miss California." Go Dustin.
I could go on. It was a long episode filled with highlights.
But what'd you think?
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I was crying/laughing at the upchuck scene. Honestly, who would have thought Charla and the ancient Romans had the same overeating strategy? If only NPH was there to talk about the sausage fest, my life would be complete.
Where did they find a suit of armour small enough for Charla.....and why does Mirna always try to talk with an accent when she is dealing with people in their own country....just being a stupid american i guess
Mirna's ability to be "The Ugly American" never fails to delight AND disgust me at the same time. Why does she talk to people in a baby-talk, sing songy way that makes you want to reach through the screen and throttle her?
I've previously stated I'm no big Beauty Queen fan...but I'm starting to come around.
(And you, and my Husband, are both going to Hell in the proverbial Handbasket for laughing at Charla's face plants.
OK...I laughed to. Gorramn it. We're all going to Hell.
But hold it. She wants to be treated like everyone else.
So we're NOT going to Hell!)
Good article I almost fell out of my chair with "worst Weeble-Wobble ever." Great line. Funny show. Keep it going.
Mirna: "Horsie, I've got saugage!"
Hated the intersection that damned the Guidos to elimination. At least let them hold their fate in their own hands. Thats two really crappy episodes in a row.
Loved Charla sticking the knife down her throat...it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen on the show!!! I loved that the Beauty Queens were laughing at her!!! I'm not a fan of them but they're starting to grow on me...
Charla falling on her face was the best... AND can someone please answer the question about why they insist on speaking in a broken english way everytime they're speaking to someone??? The only other racer I remember doing that was Bolo!!! Remember him??? He was awesome:-)
Why call the lady in Poland (or wherever) Sister??? It's Poland Mirna-not the Projects!!!
I've been a fan of Dustin and Kandice since last season, and I hope they win it all! They are unabashedly competitive, but they're good sports. They don't whine when the chips are down, they don't play the victim like the odious Mirna. I feel bad for Charla sometimes, since she doesn't seem to be nearly as bad as Mirna, and without Mirna around, she might even be a decent person. Someone should hit Mirna in the face with a shovel, preferable a Polish person. If they win, I'm going to have to declare that non-ideal.
Charla has no affinity for horses, that's for sure! I was a little surprised she had so much trouble with the eating competition because she performed so admirably in the one on her previous Race. (But that was soup. I guess that's easier to slurp down.)
Wow. Best Amazing Race episode EVER, and great recap. I've been sitting here laughing at it all over again for 20 minutes.
Mirna and Schmirna never cease to amaze me with their ugly americanism and dramatic reactions. The cabbie situation may be their most ridiculous yet.
This episode was so intense, and so many laughs as well. I was practically rolling around on the floor laughing at Charla in the armor. The first time they showed a long shot of her in the armor it looked like a scene from Willow. I haven't laughed so hard in forever.
I think I'm going to go undelete this on my TiVo before it's gone forever...