The Tease: 'Battlestar Galactica'

Get ready for the bleakness.

Battlestar's third season doesn't begin with a bang, although there a few to come. When we last left the humans on New Caprica, they were just enjoying their one-year anniversary of colonization when those sneaky Cylons invaded and took over. Occupation hasn't been a pretty time. Curfew, the ubiquitous surveilling Centurions and the building of a new jail aren't the best elements to build trust and harmony.

Inevitably, a resistance movement began. If you haven't already, check out their activities in the 10 brief webisodes on the Sci Fi Channel website. Go ahead. I'll wait.

(Spacey, synthesized muzak version of "She Blinded Me With Science" plays.)

Done? Good.

With the resistance in full swing, the Cylons haven't just been sitting on their uploaded butts. No, they've been playing mental Minesweeper, trying to outwit, outplay and outlast their fleshy, soul-laden creators. To spread their message that God is love, they're prepared to do anything -- well, most of them are. The ones (like Number Six and Sharon) with an unnatural affection for a particular human have been corrupted with that weakness known as compassion.

With colonists, duplicated Cylons, Cylon sympathizers, spaceship commanders and the inevitable new generation already taking their first steps, there are a lot of characters in this futuristic universe. Here a few highlights of what to expect from these guys in the two-hour season premiere:

WHO HAS US WORRIED:

1) Kara "Starbuck" Thrace - Don't get me wrong: I have every confidence that she'll eventually overcome her Cylon jailor Leoben. I mean, look what she did to his neck with that eating implement. But until then, I'm not sure how I feel about her wearing dresses, acting meek and getting moony-eyed over a child. While I support showing the softer side of Starbuck, I'm not sure what this departure means for her future -- especially with Anders, her footloose and fetter-free husband in the resistance. Oh yeah, and I'm not crazy about the long hair.

2) Jammer - Poor fellow thought joining the human police academy controlled by the Cylons was actually a good idea because he's be on the inside. Well, not so much. He's constantly asked to do things that leave a bad taste in his mouth and damned spots on his hands. When his human resistance brothers are in danger, he realizes he made a fatal miscalculation.

3) Ellen Tigh - Her manipulative ways may have started with the best intentions, but she's paying for it. What stinks is that others are paying for it as well.

WHO HAS US FRUSTRATED:

1) Lee "Apollo" Adama - A year away from the Cylons in the relative seclusion of the Pegasus has made him soft -- literally and probably figuratively. When your own dad says you have a "fat ass," well, you need to do something more than sit and be fit.

2) President Gaius Baltar - It's tough to try to survive as a Cylon collaborator, but he has to reach his limit at some point. Yes, he'll survive to fight another day, but when will that day come? How long will he put off actually doing something that satisfies his conscience? He's survived, but this isn't living.

3) Saul Tigh/Brother Cavil - Human or Cylon? Doesn't matter. Tigh shares far more with his Cylon counterpart than he realizes, and it's not just a drive to win by any means necessary. They don't really love anything except for themselves, and since they're two sides of the same coin, maybe they should just get a room.

WHO HAS US HOPEFUL:

1) Admiral Adama - He's finally made contact with the colonists and then takes a huge risk by trusting a Cylon to act in their interests. This is just the kind of unprejudiced, forward thinking that a leader needs. Plus, he told his son he had a "fat ass."

2) Leoben - Okay, okay. I know he's a dirty, stinking Cylon bent on manipulating our beloved Starbuck. But bad boys (even Cylons) brought down by love is a tried and true formula. There's a possibility that where Number Six and Sharon haven't succeeded, Leoben will when it comes to inter-species relations. Besides, he likes Starbuck, which shows that his judgment isn't that flawed, just misguided.

3) Hera - Remember Sharon's human-Cylon hybrid infant that was spirited away by Roslin? Chosen One children are nothing new, but mixes between aliens and humans can be particularly significant in such a series. Didn't Elizabeth from V prove that?

4) Laura Roslin - Yeah, she used to be the president and had a yen for throwing people out of airlocks, but I don't think she's realized her down and dirty potential yet. She's targeted by the Cylons after a human suicide bomber creates paranoia, and somehow, I think this will release her inner-badass.

So say we all.

What do you say? Who has your fracking motor running?

E-mail

• Digg
• Facebook
• Fark
• Yahoo Buzz
• Stumbleupon