To paraphrase the late Barry Goldwater, the theme of Monday (Oct. 23) night's FOX Fall Party might has well have been "Glitz in defense of the environment is no vice, but environmentalism in the absence of alcohol is no virtue."

At FOX's semi-annual bash (part of why we love the network is because they love to throw fiestas) good intentions and good booze flowed in equal measure.

Held at Hollywood's Boulevard3 club, the gala had an Eco-Casino theme. That meant that FOX talent and random assembled friends, loved ones and press were given chips to play poker, blackjack and other games. The chips were redeemable for all sorts of FOX paraphernalia pilloried from the studio store -- what star of House wouldn't love a House t-shirt, hat and sponsored rectal thermometer? -- while the proceeds were split between Habitat for Humanity and the Nature Conservancy. As of the time this writer left -- with at least an hour to spare -- the two charities had taken in more than $18,000 with a lot more to come.

Because of the network's strange late-August start and baseball hiatus, these Fall parties often have a bittersweet edge. At last year's party, the entire cast of Kitchen Confidential showed up despite the fact that the comedy had already been pulled from FOX schedule. This year's best bet for a similar fate is Happy Hour, which notched perfect cast attendance, with all of the actors enjoying themselves like you'd expect the cast of a show called Happy Hour to do.

Overall, FOX did an excellent job recruiting talent for the cause. The full casts of Prison Break, Standoff, 'Til Death and Justice made it out. A healthy percentage of Vanished (Gale Harold? Still dead. Sorry kids.), The Loop (including Phillip Baker Hall, who gave the Wheel of Charity a spirited spin) and House (sans the good doctor himself) made appearances, as did a spirited selection of new-ish faces (Autumn Reeser, Willa Holland, Chris Pratt and Michael Nouri) from The O.C.

I opted to observe rather than gamble, passing my $500 to colleague Rick Porter, who sat down at a Hold 'Em table with Michael Nouri and promptly took Michael Nouri down with a flush. All spades, Dr. Roberts! But I kid. It's all for our Earth.

Some other highlights:

Weirdest sight: Wentworth Miller with hair (do I sense a Very Special Episode of Prison Break where Michael gets plugs?) and Robert "T-Bag" Knepper joking around with David Boreanaz.

Second weirdest sight: It may have been entirely innocent and I'd never dare to gossip, but Family Guy creator/voice Seth MacFarlane seemingly macking on 20-year-old War at Home cutie Kaylee DeFer (pictured) was, indeed, weird.

Best food: Organic beef wrapped around asparagus and fabulous gingerbread cupcakes (best not eaten at the same time).

Worst food: Mini-cheeseburgers may be *so* 2004, but the mini-hotdog is not, in fact, the new mini-cheeseburger.

Best-looking couple: Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. The odds of their having ugly children are worse than the chances of Happy Hour getting a second season. Did I just jinx McSteamy and the Noxzema Girl's kids? Hope not.

Worst looking couple: FOX doesn't cast ugly people, silly.

Swag Bag contents: American Apparel FOX t-shirt (perfect for gym wear), some perplexingly political bottled water with the tag line "Think It While You Drink It" (perfect for watering your hemp), an Art of Tea teabag (no, not like Knepper's T-Bag), a day-pass for Core Pilates (perfect for making my core look like I belong on a FOX procedural, though probably not after only one day), a copy of the pretty picture book Native Grandeur: Preserving California's Vanishing Landscapes (perfect for proving to friends and colleagues that you own a book) and a flashlight from Cisco.

Comments

So McSteamy and the Noxzema Girl, eh? I never knew. Those will be some cute acne-free kids.

Dora | Oct 24, 2006 3:33:42 PM | #

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Just for the gingerbread cupcakes, I needed to be there!

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Hey, at least she's of age! I'm talking about the Seth MacFarlane thing. I would drop dead if he hit on me. *Swoon*

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