David versus David. Cook versus Archuleta. The High School Student versus The Rocker. We're a week away from the American Idol Finale that we've been cruising toward for at least two months. Would Wednesday (May 14) night's results episode be as perfunctory as it seemed? Or would Syesha Mercado be able to play spoiler?

9:00 p.m. ET. It's our penultimate Wednesday night Idol results show and whatever happens tonight can be blamed on 56 million voters or, more likely, 10,000 David Archuleta fans hitting redial a lot.

9:01 p.m. Paula and Simon are showing equal amounts of cleavage. Simon's is hairier.

9:02 p.m. The night's intimate Group Sing is set, with tin-eared harmony, to "Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now." These are not three compatible vocal types and no effort has been made to blend them. The best of the group, tonight at least, is Syesha Mercado, the woman everybody in America assumes will be eliminated in 53 minutes. If this were a singing competition, perhaps that would be a bit ironic.

9:04 p.m. Next week's finale is rapidly approaching, which explains why the eliminated Top 12 contestants are sitting in the crowd looking variably comfortable to be tightly wedged onto a row. Kristy Lee Cook? Less comfortable. David "Pizza Boy" Hernandez? Just pleased to be on camera.

9:07 p.m. The Ford Commercial, set to "Heaven," has been placed far earlier in the episode than usual. If the Ford commercial is out of the way, what do I have to look forward to? Call-in questions? As if.

9:08 p.m. Sorry, Ryan. You can keep saying it over and over, but I don't buy your contention that this is the tightest race to the Finale ever.

9:09 p.m. Disappointingly, the clip recap of Tuesday's show doesn't include a montage of Randy telling David Archuleta that he could sing the phone book. Equally disappointingly, we don't get to hear Li'l' Archie sing the word "boo" again.

9:11 p.m. Even 24 hours later, forcing Syesha to sing the Penguin Song still seems cruel.

9:13 p.m. I'm not sure about the dancing, the red hair or her new-found linebacker shoulders, but in terms of sheer vocal ability and interpretational skills, Fantasia Barrino remains my all-time favorite American Idol winner. Simon is either perplexed, disgusted or amazed by Fantasia's energetic performance.

9:15 p.m. Am I hallucinating or did I just hear Randy Jackson say that David Archuleta is so gifted he could sing Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged? Yeah. Must be a hallucination.

9:20 p.m. I have a hunch which contestants are going to be in the Bottom Three this week.

9:21 p.m. Up first to face judgment is Li'l' Archie, who still hasn't figured out how to do anything more than guffaw nervously at the attentions of the squealing female fans. David went home to Utah last week, where he appeared on the local FOX affiliate, was tackled by a group of high school cheerleaders and guffawed his way through a mall appearance. The Mormon Mite was reduced to tears, as are many of his fans. He also says "Gosh" at least a dozen times.

9:24 p.m. Ladies Love Cool Dave. I don't think a single eager male fan popped up in that whole package.

9:25 p.m. Wait. Did Randy just interrupt Ryan's summation of the judges' comments to insist that Archuleta is so brilliant he could sing James Redfield's Celestine Prophecy? Ooops. No. It was just Ryan explaining to Simon that Americans don't use the word "gooey" very much. Thanks, Ryan, you noted expert on English-language usage.

9:27 p.m. Archuleta hasn't actually been eliminated, but we're still paying tribute to his journey on the show.

So who actually was eliminated?

As always, the full recap is over at Zap2it's It Happened Last Night blog.

Comments

I'd say Simon was amazed by how awful Fantasia sounded. Watching the show from my DVR, I was a few minutes behind its real time, so I was able to fast forward most of her act. Between the 2 Davids, I believe Cook should prevail--he has more originality. David A. will probably still acquire a successful music career as well as some of the other eliminated contestants. Good luck to all of them. [Michael Johns should have been in the contest longer.]

franny | May 14, 2008 11:29:36 PM | #

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I'd say Simon was amazed by how awful Fantasia sounded. Watching the show from my DVR, I was a few minutes behind its real time, so I was able to fast forward most of her act. Between the 2 Davids, I believe Cook should prevail--he has more originality. David A. will probably still acquire a successful music career as well as some of the other eliminated contestants. Good luck to all of them. [Michael Johns should have been in the contest longer.]

franny | May 14, 2008 11:29:45 PM | #

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I'd say Simon was amazed by how awful Fantasia sounded. Watching the show from my DVR, I was a few minutes behind its real time, so I was able to fast forward most of her act. Between the 2 Davids, I believe Cook should prevail--he has more originality. David A. will probably still acquire a successful music career as well as some of the other eliminated contestants. Good luck to all of them. [Michael Johns should have been in the contest longer.]

franny | May 14, 2008 11:30:55 PM | #

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I, too, was very disappointed in Fantasia's choice of song, outfit and red hair. Too bad, I really liked her....once.
David A. versus David C.
Hard call. David A. seems to have worked so hard for this win while David C. doesn't really seem to care very much if he wins or not. He could come in second and still do very well for himself.
I may go with David A.

Lisa | May 15, 2008 12:15:03 AM | #

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Did Simon really think Fantasia sounded that bad last night. I did see he's face and was wondering what he was thinking. Any comment from Simon?

Claudia White | May 15, 2008 8:30:55 AM | #

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I think Simon was disgusted by Fantasia's act. Where is the sweet-voiced Fantasia who sang "Summertime?" Instead we hear a screeching, screaming rendition of something that I don't even know the name of....we witness her "dancing" (and I use that term loosely) around the stage like a wild woman. She looks horribly out of shape (and frankly when you have the money that she likely has, you have no excuse but to keep yourself in shape...its part of the job) and her voice sounded as out of shape as her body was. I'm disappointed in this American Idol and I think Simon was thinking "What in the world were we thinking when we put her on this show in the first place?" And I believe much of America was asking themselves, "How could we have voted for her to be the American Idol?"

Danielle Marie | May 15, 2008 10:40:23 AM | #

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I think Simon was stunned to see actual excitement on the stage. This whole season was a god-awful, boring waste of a timeslot. Fantasia finally brought a foot-stomping, jump-to-your-feet experience to the season, and he was still processing it.

He figured it out by the end. You can tell he liked it by the smile on his face and the applause. That performance was the best thing that happened this whole season.

Josh | May 16, 2008 1:58:08 AM | #

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i agree fantasia rocked it out i wish she continues to surprise people. she was totally in control. loved it.

jay | May 24, 2008 6:53:17 AM | #

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i agree fantasia rocked it out i wish she continues to surprise people. she was totally in control. loved it.

jay | May 24, 2008 6:53:18 AM | #

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