Recap: Rocker Shocker as 'American Idol' cuts to Seven
After taking a night off for Miley Cyrus Gives Back, American Idol returns on Thursday (April 10) for what we're promised will be an elimination episode. How many plugs for charitable giving will we get beforehand? Here's the website, in case you've forgotten. Now on to the recap...
8:00 p.m. The results are in and American Idol is actually starting at 8 p.m. What a sweet relief after all of the 8:58 and 7:31 starts of recent weeks.
8:01 p.m. Even more guest stars and surprises? Hannah Montana? Please?
8:02 p.m. Remember last night? I do. I was watching for all 158 minutes. But just in case you've forgotten... Did we get to a googillion dollars? And can we ban Robin Williams from live performances until he gets back on the drugs? I mean, I know we're supposed to say "No," but if it'll make Williams and Dan Aykroyd funny again...
8:05 p.m. So what's the Brad Pitt-saving soundwoman's name? You can't keep showing her without giving her some real recognition.
8:05 p.m. So far, the Idol Gives Back tally is over $60 million. Good on you, America.
8:06 p.m. This Jewish recapper isn't exactly sure why the very Jesus-specific "Shout to the Lord" is getting its second performance in two nights. There are so many fine religious songs that are directed at a general, more-encompassing, all-loving "God." One of those might bring more viewers under the Idol Big Tent (we won't discuss the atheists or agnostics who might also want to watch Idol without being preached at). Uh-oh. Cue the hate e-mails.
8:13 p.m. Puberty hasn't been kind to Zack and Cody. Uh-oh. Cue more hate e-mails. I'm on a roll tonight. Anybody got a puppy for me to kick?
8:14 p.m. Hi, celebrity lip-synching montage that didn't make the cut last night (set to "I'm a Believer"). Poor Cat Deeley. She's primetime-worthy to me. Ditto with Eddie Izzard. Dr. Phil? He should stick to mid-afternoon when it's easy to concentrate on my job and avoid his existence. And Vinnie Jones? He's the Juggernaut, bitch!
8:15 p.m. There were 31 million votes cast after Tuesday's show. Who will take their place on the Ignominious Stools and who will ride out the hour in the plush comfort of the Sofa of Love? America's Nanny Brooke White is out first and Ryan lets her read her own card, guaranteeing that she's both safe and that she'll miss her sister's wedding. How about David "The Leader" Cook? After one of the best three or four episode streaks in recent memories, David has been less convincing the past two weeks. After a discussion of David's pompousness, the rocker's sent to join Brooke.
8:19 p.m. Presumptive American Idol Winner David Archuleta isn't going anywhere. That leaves three empty Ignominious Stools and five contenders waiting backstage.
8:25 p.m. On his trip to Africa, Forest Whitaker shot a lot of footage. We saw some of it last night and we get more tonight. I get it. He's a great actor and he's got a lot of atoning to do for Battlefield Earth.
8:29 p.m. Where's Melinda Doolittle at? Just curious. I have no quarrel with last season's Idol winner Jordin Sparks, who wasn't important enough for last night's show, but who pops up singing a heavily synthesized single with former O.C. guest star Chris Brown.
8:33 p.m. Four fans bring out a pair of platinum records for downloads of two singles, plus a gold album for her debut CD. This is a direct retaliation against the naysayers who have questioned the success of recent winners. I know this because Seacrest ends the segment with the very imperative pronouncement, "Idol works!" Now stop talking about all of those recent favorites without record deals!
More than half-way through without a single person in the Bottom Three? And who went home?!?!?