Recap: 'American Idol' Reaches its Top 12

Thank heavens for American Idol and the interruption it offers from wall-to-wall coverage of Brett Favre's retirement. In my book, he was maybe the ninth or 10th best quarterback in NFL history and only the seventh or eighth best There's Something About Mary star. Does that deserve three days of non-stop ESPN coverage? Really? I mean, maybe if he'd been making his living as a stripper at gay clubs in Phoenix... So anyway, who will be eliminated on Thursday (March 6) night in the final Idol cuts before the Top 12?

8:00 p.m. Unveiling the kind of uncomfortable looking stools I'd expect at a soda fountain (is he on the new stage?), Ryan Seacrest warns me that this is American Idol and we're presenting the Top 12 tonight. That means four contestants are going home tonight -- Luke Menard, Kady Malloy and two other people.

8:01 p.m. Geez. Blake Lewis finished second last season. I'd forgotten about the Human Beatbox Version 6.1. It's a little interesting that Idol is letting Blake pimp himself before they give time to Jordin Sparks. They both need the sales boost. Blake is actually pretty decent, though the song is a snooze.

8:05 p.m. "It's a big night every night to lose four people," Blake tells Ryan in response to the host's contention that this elimination is particularly important. Then he tells the contestants to listen to the judges' positive criticisms. Thanks, Blake!

8:09 p.m. Ah. There are the uncomfortable seats. They're right next to where the Top 16 are sitting, but there are only 12 of chairs, to be filled by the fruits of 36 million Idol votes. In one smooth piece of pimping, Ryan manages to plug Paula's new single, the show's new iTunes partnership and the exposure the song got on Ryan's radio show.

8:11 p.m. The guys will start on the hot seat, but only after a prolonged recap of Tuesday night's '80s-inflected performance, somehow leaving out Randy's inability to distinguish between INXS and Simple Minds. Fortunately, Presumptive American Idol Winner David Archuleta's earnest tribute to the homeless is included.

8:14 p.m. Ryan wishes everybody luck and then starts singling out performances. David Cook, regrowing his soul patch and coming off a bang-up performance of "Hello," is in the Top 12. Finally he can get plugs! Presumptive American Idol Winner David Archuleta is up next. Well, he can't win if he doesn't make the Top 12 and he's through as well. Jason "The Stoned Muppet" Castro earned high praise this week. He was less impressive when I re-listened to him, but he's also in the Top 12. Hey Ryan, can you make this process any more excruciating? Ah yes. By selling product.

8:17 p.m. A trip to ESPN reveals that Brett Favre is still retired.

8:21 p.m. Ah. Now, even without eliminating anybody, we're on to Wednesday's performances by the Women. Ramiele Malubay was really bad. And sorry, even though nearly everybody seems to love her, I can't get on the Brooke White bandwagon.

8:25 p.m. I obviously don't matter. I know this. Brooke is the first gal sent over to the Top 12. Simon, Paula and Randy agree that Syesha Mercado should go through to the Top 12 and America agrees. Kady Malloy is up next. She knows she's going home and she's nodding before Ryan gets to the results. Even her loved ones in the crowd don't seem surprised.

Yeah, but we knew Kady was doomed. Who else went home?

Well, you're gonna have to check out the full recap over at our It Happened Last Night blog.